Sample Jokes

104 sample jokes and hilarious sample puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sample that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your way to success with a collection of sample jokes for public speaking. Learn how to roast and deliver punchlines with perfect timing. Try sample jokes from different cultures like Japanese and smart ones to make your audience laugh!

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Funniest Sample Short Jokes

Short sample jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sample humour may include short examples jokes also.

  1. My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means.
  2. My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. Turns out my dog licked my sample.
  3. In statistics, a larger sample size results in more reliable averages. The Ns justify the means.
  4. Why shouldn't you share your food with a statistician? Because they always want a large sample
  5. What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.
  6. My vet asked me for a stool sample from my dog I told them she didn't have any stools, she just sits on the ground, but they just looked at me like I was an idiot.
  7. What do you call it when you are studying bacteria and someone steals your sample? Cultural appropriation.
  8. What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans...
  9. When my wife goes out shopping she like to sample things before purchasing. She is buy-curious.
  10. A carpenter pulls up to his doctor with his truck "Took me a while to source the right kind of spruce, but I have the stool samples you asked for"

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Sample One Liners

Which sample one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sample? I can suggest the ones about survey and specimen.

  1. Went to get stool sample test. It was expensive... ...cost me a buttload.
  2. Where do you find rappers in the middle of the day? Costco for all the free samples
  3. Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you.
  4. If I was a salesman and sold bar stools, I'd hand out free stool samples.
  5. What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school? Submitting a stool sample.
  6. Costco is like my ex Cheap and giving free samples to everyone
  7. Why did the deer lose her job at the bakery? She was caught sampling the owner's doe nuts
  8. What's a carpenter's prototype of a bar seat called? A stool sample.
  9. What did the radioactive sample say to the other radioactive sample? IDK.
  10. I was recently sampled by Doctor Dre... Should get my results next week.
  11. What do you call 10 samples of 6.02 x 10²³ lava molecules? Mole-ten rock.
  12. Why did the doctor go the furniture store? Because he needed a stool sample.
  13. I went to Costco and got a lot of food and parts of music. Samples are really big there.
  14. When Apple collab with Samsung, their product won't last long Because they're just Sample
  15. The ancestry results from my 23andMe saliva sample came back today. I'm 100% alcoholic.

Urine Sample Jokes

Here is a list of funny urine sample jokes and even better urine sample puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My doctor asked me for a u**... sample and a stool sample. So I gave him my underwear.
  • Russia has an intelligence unit to swap out u**... samples of Olympic athletets with clean ones It is called K G Pee
  • New job wants a u**... sample everyday they're taking the p**...
  • I went to the doctor for a complete physical He asked for a u**..., blood, stool and a s**... sample. So I gave him my underware......and a sock
  • medina spirit was disqualified for a second failed drug test experts described the horse's u**... sample as "funky, cold"
  • Doctor asked for a u**... sample, stool sample and s**... sample... So I gave him my underwear.
  • I think I drink too much. The last time I gave a u**... sample, there was an olive in it.
  • A wife went with her husband to his doctors appointment... Doctor: I'm gonna need a u**... and stool sample.
    Wife (to husband): Just give him your underwear honey!!!
  • I went to the doctor today. He ask for a stool and u**... sample. I told him I would leave him my underwear
  • A doctor takes a pee sample from a patient When he comes back in, he looks surprised and worried
    Patient: Is there something wrong?
    Doctor: u**... trouble, alright

Stool Sample Jokes

Here is a list of funny stool sample jokes and even better stool sample puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My doctor said he needed a stool sample from me. The timing was perfect. I was about to go to Ikea anyway
  • What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it? A stool sample.
  • Sent my stool sample to the lab today... ...he just wagged his tail and asked for seconds.
  • My doctor asked for a stool sample.... ...and got mad at me when I handed him a tiny chair. Now I'm banned from the doctors office and still don't know why I'm p**... out furniture.
  • I just had to pay $300 for a stool sample test. That..s**... was expensive.
  • My doctor just thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of f**... for my stool sample. I told him it was the least I could doo.
  • Where do Russians keep their stool sample for the doctor? In a p**...-tin!
  • Why was the doctor angry at their patient while trying to get a stool sample? Because he didn't give a s**....
  • Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a u**... sample."
    Man to wife: "What did she say?"
    Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."
  • Why did the hipster doctor dislike taking f**... samples? Because she was too cool for stool.
Sample joke, Why did the hipster doctor dislike taking f**... samples?

Sample Japanese Jokes

Here is a list of funny sample japanese jokes and even better sample japanese puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Frenchman confirms that he wants to sample a Japanese cover of Snoop Dogg's "French Inhale" Oui, one wee weeb w**... song.
Sample joke, A Frenchman confirms that he wants to sample a Japanese cover of Snoop Dogg's "French Inhale"

Cheeky Sample Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about sample you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean simulation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sample pranks.


An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a u**... sample, a stool sample and a s**... sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

A policeman pulls over a driver...

for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
I can't do that, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.
Okay, we'll just get a u**... sample down at the station.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.
Alright, we could get a blood sample.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.
Fine then, just walk this white line.
Can't do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because I'm drunk.

An old man doesn't feel well...

So he and his wife go to the doctors office. When they meet with the doctor he says "We need to do a full workup and run some tests. I'm going to need a u**... sample, a stool sample and a s**... sample". The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and says "eh?". His wife just rolls her eyes and says "Frank, just give him your underwear!"

An elderly couple go to the doctor......

for the husbands annual physical. The husband is hard of hearing and he and the wife sit at the doctors desk after his exam. The doctor starts talking and tells the husband he is ordering some tests, and he'll need to provide a u**... sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample.
The husband looks over to his wife and asks: "what did he just say?" The wife replies "give him your underwear".

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

At The Nikon Headquarters

We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses
"A focus group?"

MY first physical

being 50 years old and having never had a physical the doctor wanted a complete work-up, so he says to me "we'll need a blood, u**...,s**..., and stool sample" I threw him the underwear I was wearing and told him to "take whatever you need"

A man once became addicted to c**... from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world.

Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line.

Why are statistics more believable with a larger sample size?

The Ns justify the means.

What do you call a random selection of sailors?

A s**... sample

A farmer once bought some ammonium nitrate fertilizer, but it smelled weird,

so he put a sample in a pan and brought it to the nearest USDA branch. A security guard saw the pan full of fertilizer and yelled "bomb", but it was just panned ammonium

There is a new machine for testing your s**... count at home

Maybe I could use it to check my daughter's saliva sample

pair of your underwear

A doctor tells an old couple at his office he needs to get a stool sample, a u**... sample, and a blood test from the old man.
Hard of hearing, the old man asks his wife what the doctor said.
The wife replies, "He needs a pair of your underwear."

A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes.

Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a u**... sample. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your u**.... You're diabetic." She says.
Disappointed, the man manages to reply, "Well, I'm still very thankful for your help today, nurse."
"Sure thing, sweet pee."

Imagine if Samsung and Apple came together to build a phone. What would it be called?


Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?

Cause you can distribute your sample over me


Two guys were crying in front of a hospital when they meet a common friend of theirs. The friend asked them why they were crying.
First guy: I was here for a blood test and they cut my finger for blood sample.
The friend said it's perfectly natural and thats how they take a sample. The second guy immediately started crying harder then before. The friend got confused and asked him what happened.
Second guy: I'm here for u**... test.

I just found out s**... banks pay for your sample....

To think I've let all that money slip through my fingers.

An elderly, married couple walks into a hospital.

The doctor says to the old man, 'I'll need a u**... sample, a f**... sample, and a blood sample.'
The old man says, 'What?' So the doctor says it again. Once again the deaf old codger says, What?'
So the doctor yells it: 'I NEED A u**... SAMPLE A f**... SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!'
With that the old man's wife turns to her doddery husband and says, 'He needs a pair of your underwear'.

A Marine walks into a McDonald's, starts eating food off the line...

"Sample Fry"

Two German soccer players go to a s**... bank..

The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"
This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse
"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...

I went to a store and there was a sample table on display with depleted batteries:

Needless to say, they were free of charge.

An old married couple go to the hospital

And as they are getting checked in the doctor says to the old man,
"I need a stool sample, a u**... sample, and a blood sample."
The old man being hard of hearing says, "what'd you say?"
and his wife replies, "He said they need to see your underware."

The local s**... bank is paying £100 per sample.

Think of all that money you let slip through your fingers.

You ladies who only use tampons should really give pads a try. I'll even send you a sample for free.

No strings attached

I wanted to learn more about my ancestry so I registered with a company online and sent them my DNA sample

Two weeks later I got a letter saying the sample cup was for saliva.

New Cologne

My son told me this.
Tesla is offering a sample of their new cologne when you go to their show rooms.
It is called Elon Musk

An old man and his wife go to the doctor...

After the examination the doctor says, "OK sir we just need to get a u**... sample, stool sample, blood sample and a s**... sample."
The old man, hard of hearing, turns to his wife, "What'd he say?"
The woman says, "give him your underwear"

I conducted a COVID-19 survey by checking in on all the tinder matches I accumulated over the years.

Although my sample size may be insufficient, the results of the survey are devastating and tragic.
May they all rest in peace.

85 Year Old Man Getting His Physical

Old man is in the room with his wife and doctor says: "We're gonna need a blood sample, a stool sample, and a u**... sample."
Old man says to his wife "What'd he say?"
Wife: "He wants your underwear."

Mr. O'Malley comes home from the doctor and tells his wife he needs to supply a u**... sample.

Mr. O'Malley is distraught because he has no idea what a u**... sample is. Mr. O'Malley asks his wife to go nextdoor and ask their neighbor for help.
Mrs. O'Malley comes back, beaten, bruised, and bloodied.
"What the b**... h**... happened to you, my love!?" exclaims Mr. O'Malley.
"I asked Mrs. Finnegan how you get a u**... sample," Mrs. O'Malley explains. "She said, 'Go p**... in a cup!' and I said, Go s**... In A Hat! And the fight was on."

A gastroenterologist walks into a bar, grabs one of the bar seats, examines it, picks it up & starts walking out.

The bartender yells at him, hey what do you think you're doing?!
He smiles and says just taking a stool sample!

A rich guy visits a doctor for a little blue pill

The doctor gives him a sample to try out. He tells him to take it now and by the time you get home it should be working.
20 minutes later the guy calls the doctor to tell him his wife isn't home but the maid is there.
Doctor says, well... try it out with the maid.
Patient replies, I never needed a pill to get a hard-on with the maid.

An elderly man and his wife are in the doctors office

the doctor says to the man "I'm going to need a a u**... sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample."
the man turns to his wife "What did he say?, he needs what?"
the wife yells "Just give him your underpants."

A senior citizen goes to yearly physical

The doctor asks for u**... sample, stool sample and s**... sample
The man being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks "what did he say?"
The wife yells back to him "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR "

Picture this: you go to a urologist's office, and along with all their other patients, you contribute a u**... sample. The doctor puts everyone's sample bottles in a little machine that spins them around really fast. Congratulations! You've just...

visualized whirled pees.

Sample joke, Why was the doctor angry at their patient while trying to get a stool sample?

jokes about sample