Salty Jokes

115 salty jokes and hilarious salty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about salty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your conversations as salty as possible with some of the best sweet and salty jokes out there. Discover the funniest jokes that involve brine, Cheetos, and other salty food elements. Learn the art of a perfectly delivered salty dog joke or make things a bit sweeter with a clever caramel joke. Get ready to be the life of the party with these salty jokes!

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Funniest Salty Short Jokes

Short salty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The salty humour may include short salted jokes also.

  1. I always wondered why gun barrels tasted salty Until I realized I'm always crying when I put one in my mouth
  2. Finally realized why the end of my rifle always tastes so salty Because whenever I put it in my mouth I'm always crying
  3. They say the sea is salty from the tears of sailors. After being on a ship for months with only men, I can assure you it's not from their tears.
  4. What's the difference between a slug and a gamer? A gamer gets salty when they die, but a slug dies when it gets salty.
  5. This is my step ladder He's pretty useful around the house yet I'm still salty I never met my real ladder..
  6. Bacon related humor... I'm way too proud of this:
    I like my women like I like my bacon,
    Salty and bad for me.
  7. They banned me from the school talent show. But i know they were just salty, because they knew they couldnt make their clothes disappear as well as i did.
  8. What does a Reditor and the Ocean have in common? Both are salty.
  9. If genres were flavors SCI-FI would be sour, Fantasy would be sweet, Horror would be bitter, Mystery would be umami... And Erotica would be salty.
  10. I bought my wife a desalination device for her birthday Oddly enough, she's been real salty about it ever since

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Salty One Liners

Which salty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with salty? I can suggest the ones about sour and salt and pepper.

  1. Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn't wave back.
  2. Why is the sea salty? Because the land does not wave back.
  3. Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.
  4. Do you know why the sea is salty? It's because land never waved back
  5. Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back.
  6. Why was the peanut so salty? Because it got R O A S T E D
  7. What do you call a salty ex-marine? A seasoned veteran.
  8. Breaking News: United States is now the largest producer of salt. So Salty...
  9. Do you know Dead Sea is not a sea? It's very salty about it
  10. Why were the British salty about losing America? They got tea-bagged
  11. What part of your hand is the most salty? The NaCls
  12. Why is North America so salty? Because its Na.
  13. Why are oceans so salty? Because the Earth is always tilted.
  14. What do you call fish that taste two times as salty? 2Na
  15. I like both sweet snacks and salty snacks I'm bisnacksual

So Salty Jokes

Here is a list of funny so salty jokes and even better so salty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My car hates winter... ... Every time it snows it gets so salty.
  • Why is the Ocean Salty? Because the Beach didn't wave back.
  • Why is the ocean so salty? Because no one ever waves back
  • What did the Hanzo main say to his salty team? Nothing, he isn't even in voice chat
  • What would make Batman really salty? Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-
  • My wife and I decided not to have children. Their tears make the broth too salty.
  • I figured out why peanuts are the meanest food They're salty about something
  • I like my women like I like my snacks.. Cheesy, salty, a little sweet, and upset about my nutritional value per 50g servings.
  • Why is the ocean so salty? Because people just started to comment on its new YouTube channel.
  • Which song is the most salty? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
    Hey, Jude

Sweet And Salty Jokes

Here is a list of funny sweet and salty jokes and even better sweet and salty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I ate a pickle .... It tasted sweet
    So I gave to my sister who says it's salty
    I guess I'm dillusional
  • Mother, you're so sweet yet salty at the same time Son, what on earth do you mean?
    Well isn't it obvious? Umami
  • women come in the same basic taste sensations or flavors as foods- sweet, salty, sour, hot, bitter, and nuts.
  • What do Salty caramel ice cream and I have in common? We're both salty and sweet.
Salty joke, What do Salty <a href="/caramel-jokes.html" title="Caramel jokes">caramel</a> ice cream and I have i

Salty Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny salty food jokes and even better salty food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I like my women like I like my west-ward settler's food preservation methods. Meaty & salty
  • Did you hear about the guy who choked on a pretzel? He was very salty.
  • Why are vegans so salty? To hide the fact that their food has no flavor.
  • What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food? Frito Layser.
Salty joke, What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food?

Cheerful Fun Salty Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about salty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sweaty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make salty pranks.


A little girl comes home from school and her mother asks how her day was. The little girl told her mom That she had found out something new. Her mother asked what it was and the girl replied
"Johnny showed me his pee-pee today and it reminded me of a peanut."
Of course her mother was disturbed and she decided to go along with the little girl's act to see if it wasn't true.
"What about it reminded you of a peanut? Was it small like a peanut?"
"No, it tasted salty."

Little Johnny's peanut

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won't believe it! Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! It was like a peanut."
The mom replies, "Oh, it was small?"
Little Sally says, "No, it was salty."

Little Mary told her dad that Johnny's p**... reminded her of a peanut.

Dad: Why? Is it tiny ?
Little Mary: No ! Salty !

I was told as a kid..

..the ocean water was salty because of whale s**....
And I believed it for the longest time (true story).

What did the cookie say to the c**...?

You feeling salty bro?

What do you call a butthurt white guy?

A salty c**....

Lot's Wife

We've all heard the story. No one can blame her if she felt any resentment. Some say, after all these years, she's still pretty salty about it.

Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

"Wanna hear a chemistry joke?"

"Na, man, I'm good."
"Wow, you didn't have to get salty over it."
(Chemically inaccurate but who cares, right?)

What's the difference between a gamer and a p**... of boiling water?

A p**... of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.

Gym class made me sweat a little bit.

I'm salty about it.

Why did Lot leave his wife?

She became salty.

What do you call a salty white person?

A saltine.

Why won't the ocean let us drink its water?

Because it's too salty.

A man asks his friend if he wants to play another round. He replies with "Na."

The first guy asks the second guy 'Why you gotta be so salty?"

Is the Sea salty because the land doesn't wave back?

Someone else thought it was a funny thought of mine on showethoughts

So there's this hot NA chick in my chemistry class

Her attitude is always salty, but hey, her b**... is sodium fine.

My doctor told me that I should avoid salty things

I'm gonna miss playing MOBAs

I can never have a nice conversation with the ocean...'s simply too salty.

Legend says you can't drown playing LOL..

..Because people are too salty there

The reason for the increase in salty people in our generation is...

due to how popular Sea-Sections have become in the recent years.

What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the o**... I just had?

Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty

A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,

"Cap'm, can't help but noticin' got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."

Why was the potato salty?

Because he had a chip on his shoulder

My friend almost drown in sea.

She is still salty about that.
note; i know i have terrible grammar.

I like my women like I like my chips

Original and slightly salty

Why do slugs die when you beat them in video games?

They get salty

"Mommy, mommy! Little Johnny pulled out his thingy and showed it to me in the tree house!"

Sally's mother gasped, but didn't want to embarrass her. "Well, what did you think?" she asked.
"It reminded me of a peanut."
"You mean it was small?" her mother chuckled.
"No!" said Sally. "It was salty!"

A mom picks up her 5 year old girl from kindergarten

A mom picks up her 5 year old girl from kindergarten. The girls gets into the car and says - "Mom, Timmy's wee wee is like a peanut!". The mother laughs and asks "why is it small?". "No" the girls answers, "it's salty"

Why were all of the Christians so salty on Sunday?

They had just entered the TaberNaCl

Why did Na punch Cl?

Because he made him salty

Why was the sea salty?

Because the land dint wave.

Guy at a restaurant orders a soup

Some random guy orders a soup in the restaurant and the waiter brings him the soup. Right after the waiter leaves the table the guy calls him back and says "Try the soup" the waiter asks "What's the matter, is it too salty?" guy says "Go ahead and taste it" and the waiter asks "Is it too spicy?" and the guy says "Just freakin' try it!" and the waiter asks "Where's the spoon?" and the guy answers "Exactly"

Two cannibals were eating j**... Seinfeld...

One looks at the other and asks Does this taste salty?

You a salty Bromine?

Na BrO I got my oxide

Why was the Ocean kicked from the gaming team?

It was being too salty

During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"

He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".
"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"

Start a sentence with "I'm not racist/sexist/whatever, but..." Then say something that has nothing to do with that at all

"I'm not racist, but this soup is too salty."
"I'm not sexist, but I need to borrow a pen."
The joke is in the reactions

Why Americans don't need to feel bad when they are criticized by the British

Sometimes I hear people from Great Britain talk about how bad the education is in The US. I do get a little offended, but then I realize they are just salty because we beat them in The Civil War.

A milk thief goes into a barn

He finds a suitable cattle, and tries to milk it. Eventually he resorts to s**... on the udder, and eventually gets a spurt of gelatinous, salty milk. The farmer enters to see the man spitting it out, before the man remarks about the disgusting milk.
Farmer hands him a bucket, and points to another heifer. He says
"That's the female cow right there."

An oldie but a goodie (from Coming to America)

A man is at a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup. The waitress brings him the soup. A couple minutes later, he calls the waitress over.
"Ma'am, something is wrong, can you t**... soup?"
"What's wrong, is it too hot?"
"Just taste the soup."
"What? Is it too cold? Too salty?"
"Please just taste the soup"
"Fine! Alright, I'll taste it. Where's the spoon?"
"A ha!"

Once they are put in jail, prisoners spend most of their time being salty.

Probably because they spend all of their time NaCl.

A couple is buying popcorn at the concession stand in the cinema...

Vendor: Do you want your popcorn sweet or salty?
Guy looks lovingly at his girlfriend and says: I want my popcorn like my girlfriend
Vendor: Dude, we don't sell ugly popcorn

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face.

She told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his w**... today at the playground!"
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?"
Sally replied, "No, salty."

Salty joke, Do you know why the sea is salty?

jokes about salty