The Best 49 Saloon Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Saloon jokes. There are some saloon barstool jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these saloon tavern puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Saloon Jokes and Puns
The cowboy enters the saloon
-Who painted my horse blue??
A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.
-It was me, you have a problem with that?
-I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating.
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog cooly looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
My sex life is like a Wild West saloon...
Liquor in the front, poker in the rear
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west...
and sits down. He looks around and then says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Times New Roman walks into a saloon.
The bartender says to him, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here."
So he shot the serif.
A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon
He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the three-legged dog who limped into the saloon in a town in the old west?
He was lookin' for the varmints who shot his paw.
A guy runs into a saloon and yells "everybody clear out, Big John's comin' to town!"
A couple minutes later a mountain of a man rides into town on an ox and he's dragging a mountain lion on a chain behind him. He gets down and punches the ox and slams the mountain lion and says "You guys stay here."
He walks into the saloon, ripping the doors off the hinges. Walks up to the bartender grabs him by the shirt and says "Give me a bottle of beer." Bartender does, guy bites the top right off, chugs it down in one gulp and slams it down on the bar.
Bartender asks, "Ca-ca-can I getcha another?"
Guy says "Naw. I gotta get out of here. Big John's coming to town."
What's the difference between a saloon and one of God's farts?
One is a bar room. The other is a BAAAROOOOOM!
A web developer walks into a bar,
tavern, pub, saloon, lounge, booze, alcohol, drinking
A dog walks into a saloon, he's got revolver on his hip, a 10 gallon hat, and a pair of spurs on his boots that clank as he limps. With everybody's eyes on him, he limps up to the bar, leans back on it, tips his hat up and says:" I'm looking for the two-bit varmint that shot my pa"
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You can explore saloon gruffly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean saloon barkeeper dad jokes. There are also saloon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The best sex is like an old saloon.
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
Tank
A joke I translated from Latvian.
Man walks into a tattoo saloon, walks up to the artist says 'I want a big tattoo of a tank all across my back'. 'Say no more' says the artist and starts tattooing. 30 minutes pass. Artist gets up..'all done sir'. 'That was quick! ' says the man. Artist looks at him and goes 'it's okay, it's only 4 letters'
So there's a three-legged dog who walks into a saloon
He sits at the bar and orders a drink, and tells the bartender,
"I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot mah paw"
Abuse of police powers.
A cowboy walks into a saloon wearing paper bag boots, paper bag pants, a paper bag shirt and a paper hat.
The local sheriff pulls out his gun and says " I'm arresting you."
And the cowboy says "What for?"
The sheriff replies "RUSTLING!"
A three-legged dog hobbles into an old western saloon
He limps up to the bartender.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon...
...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
There was time in the old west
A dog with three legs walks into a saloon, he slams open the doors, looks around at the startled patrons and asks, "Anyone seen my PAW?"
A dog walks into a saloon...
Says: "I'm looking for the fella that shot my paw"
(LOL, I'm a dad, I'm allowed.)
An outlaw walks into a saloon in the old wild West, wearing a candy bar for a hat.
Says the bartender, "Is that an Almond Joy on your head?"
Quoth he, "No, it's a Bounty."
A three-legged dog walks into an old-timey saloon
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my Paw."
(I know it's old but I'm feeling really down and this joke cheers me up.)
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
A dog limps into a saloon
The bartender asks "how can I help you?"
The dog replies "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
It's 1887 and a three-legged dog walks into a saloon, grabs the bartender by the scruff of his neck, looks him dead in the eyes and says...
"I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
A three-legged dog burst into a saloon and declares...
"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw!"
Why did the saloon owner destroy his establishment?
He wanted to raze the bar...
A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"
The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."
What did the three-legged dog say when he hobbled into the saloon...
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
Sheriff dog bursts into the saloon and says
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
I got in trouble at work for suggesting Saloon Doors on the Gender Neutral Bathroom
I just wanted to show my support for swinging both ways
A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the wild west
He slides up to the bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
A dog goes in to a saloon.
He's wearing a 6 gun and a black hat, and his front foot is bandaged. He limps up to the bartender and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
A man walked into a bar,
The man behind him walked around it and into the saloon.
In 1877 a bartender was building his saloon.
"so i want the floor to creak everytime when someone from out of town walks in and around here, but not when locals do that."
Carpenter: "What?!"
A three legged dog
limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"
A gunslinger burst into a saloon and said, "My name is Amarillo Red!"
"but my friends call me 'Orange' for short."
and yes, today I learned Amarillo is Spanish for yellow.
Two blondes are at a saloon
They decide to plan a trip. They are talking about different destinations.
They finalize it to FL or the moon.
First says: what's closer
Second says: The moon of course.
First says: really??
Second says: yah, you can see the moon.
A dog walks into a saloon
All the patrons go quiet as they look at the dog who's wearing spurs and a cowboy hat, with a gun on his hip.
The bartender says, now listen here partner, we don't want any trouble. What's your business?
The dog lets out a faint growl, lifts up his front right leg and replies, I'm looking for the man who shot my pa .
Saloon owner in the mid 1800's asks the carpenter
"Can you make the floors not squeak except when a bad person walks in?"
Carpenter says " WAT?"
One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town
He tied up his horse and entered a saloon
When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing
The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."
The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.
As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,
"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"
The cowboy responded,
"I had to walk home."
P.S. Sorry
What do you call a group of western bars themed around urns into which you spit that are decorated with picture of Inklings?
A Splatoon spittoon saloon platoon
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says,...
I'm lookin' for the one that shot my paw.
What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon?
Yeet-haw!
The Lone Ranger stops for a drink
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one hot, summer day. The Lone Ranger's horse is looking overheated so the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to run around in circles fanning the horse off.
Sometime later a cowboy walks into the saloon and asks "Who's horse is that out there with the silver saddle?"
"That would be me," says the Lone Ranger. "Well you left your Injun running."
Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door
and I just kept playing
Two redditors walk into a bar.
"Well technically," the first argues, "it is a Pub since it serves food."
"Actually," the second says, "it is a Saloon since it is a part of a hotel."
Neither remembers the point of this post.
A man rides a pony into a bar
A man charges through the front door of his local saloon, perched on the back of a pony. He rushes to the bar and says Bartender, I need a hot tea, as quick as you can!
The bartender, taken aback, says Sir! You can't ride that thing in here! And why do you so desperately need a hot tea?!
The man leans forward, looks the bartender square in the eye, and slowly pets the pony's mane.
Mister , he exclaims, I'm feeling a little horse .
A sheriff walks into a saloon, the doors swinging on their hinges behind him
I'm gonna need your attention he exclaims.
Everyone in the bar hushes up.
I'm lookin' for a wanted man says the sheriff.
What's he look like sheriff? asks a patron standing at the bar.
The sheriff responds Well now, he's been seen wearing a brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, he also wears brown paper boots and has a brown paper hat. We're calling him the Brown Paper Cowboy.
There's a quiet murmur throughout the bar, until finally someone asks What's he wanted for sheriff?
Sheriff replies Rustling
So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.
The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? You got shit all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the saloon parlour jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working saloon pub piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.