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Salon Jokes

87 salon jokes and hilarious salon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about salon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out these hilarious jokes about nail salons, hair salons, Chinese salons, tanning salons, hairdressers and combs! From silly puns to witty one-liners, these jokes will have you in stitches.

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Funniest Salon Short Jokes

Short salon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The salon humour may include short saloon jokes also.

  1. "My husband is such a pig. All I asked for was $100 for the beauty salon..." "He took a long look at me and gave me $300"
  2. It's my dream to open a dentist office/manicure salon I'm fighting tooth and nail to make it happen
  3. Ugh... My hair has never been this long before, and all the salons are closed due to the pandemic. I wish I had emo hair... ...so it would cut itself.
  4. The story of a heroic husband .... Wife to her husband - How do I look? I just came back from the beauty salon....
    Husband - Well. Was it closed?
  5. Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks
    Are you two sisters?
    They laughed and replied, No we're not even Catholic.
  6. A man is taking a stroll... ... when he finds his mother-in-law. So he asks her "Hey, how are you doing?" and she replies "Good, I just came from the beauty salon!"
    So he says "Oh, was it closed?"
  7. If I were black... I'd stand in front of a tanning salon and laugh at all the customers.
    Source: Neal Brennan
  8. In the end, I decided not to visit that new Police Hair & Nail Salon. You hear all kinds of bad things about Police Beautality.
  9. When they didn't accept my discount, I gave my local tanning salon a low rating... It seemed a little shady to me.
  10. MEANWHILE, an elderly couple. WIFE: I've just come from the beauty salon.
    HUSBAND: Were they closed?

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Salon One Liners

Which salon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with salon? I can suggest the ones about barber shop and barbershop.

  1. Why did Jesus go to the salon? To get his nails done
  2. Did you hear about the haunted hair salon? I heard a ton of people have dyed there
  3. Why did the beauty salon overcharge jesus? Because he has extra nails
  4. Why did the man with bipolar go to the nail salon? Because they offer manic cures
  5. A rabbit walks into... A hare salon
  6. What do you get when you forget the difference between a saloon and a salon? A buzzcut.
  7. Mr. T just opens his own beauty salon. I Pretty The Fool.
  8. What does a woman with a missing finger get at the nail salon? 10% off.
  9. I am never going to that hair salon. I hear it's where good hair goes to dye.
  10. I'm going to open a half-assed nail salon... It's going to be called 'Just The Tips'.
  11. TIL Tom Petty had a brother that owned his own nail salon Manny Petty
  12. Sherlock opens a salon. Sherlock combs.
  13. A dumb blonde wearing headphones walks into a hair salon...
  14. Why did the gunman go into the salon? He needed a hair trigger. ;)
  15. What happens when a crematory and a tanning salon share a building? A fifth degree burn

Hair Salon Jokes

Here is a list of funny hair salon jokes and even better hair salon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • $50k in hair extentions was stolen from a downtown hair salon, Police are still combing the area for clues.
  • Hair Salons, Tanning Salons, Gyms, Spas, The Clinique Counter... All closed.
    It's getting ugly out there.
  • My girlfriend went to the hair salon and got rid of four inches She got her hair colored and then dumped me.
  • A girl walks into a hair salon and asks to get her hair done... The hair stylist replies " I can make your hair soft with one condition."
  • There's a new hair salon opening in Mordor! Appointment only, no walk-ins.
  • I hate the product hair salons use for perms... The smell makes my hair curl.
  • In the news... There was a robbery at a local hair salon. The police are combing the area.
  • What's the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard? Curl Up and Dye
  • An anti-vaxxer's child goes to a salon and his family disowns him once he comes back. He apparently got some wax on his hair.

  • A wife returns from the salon, "Honey, I took your advice and got a new hair color, what do you think?" Husband: I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said "it's time to diet".

Beauty Salon Jokes

Here is a list of funny beauty salon jokes and even better beauty salon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
    "So, how do I look?"
    "Well, at least you tried..."
  • Do you know who the pioneers in AI (artificial intelligence) are? No. I don't know.
    Beauty Salons. They apply all their intelligence to create something unnatural.
  • Why do Russian women go to Polish beauty salons on Halloween? They're not called uroda salons for nothing!
  • Mr Miyagi's Beauty Salon is called Wax on, Wax AAaarghfff.
  • Man's wife was gone from home all day When she finally came back late in the day, her husband asked

    "Where'v you been all day?"

    "At the beauty salon"

    "Were they closed!?"
  • "Yesterday my wife spend 4 hours in the beauty salon", says o**... to another. "What did she have done that took that long."
    "Nothing!"
    "What do you mean nothing?"
    "No, all she got was an estimate."
Salon joke, "Yesterday my wife spend 4 hours in the beauty salon", says o**... to another.

Nail Salon Jokes

Here is a list of funny nail salon jokes and even better nail salon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If the Mexicans are taking all of the jobs, then why do Koreans still rule the nail salons? Because Tu is better than Juan.
  • What does the r**... get done at the nail salon? A predicure.
  • Why did h**... visit the nail salon? Because he wanted to buy Polish remover

Tanning Salon Jokes

Here is a list of funny tanning salon jokes and even better tanning salon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's worse than being a tanning salon owner in Africa? Being a somali Uber driver in Columbus, Ohio.
  • My local tanning salon is offering an Easter special You know, in case you've been in a cave for the last few days.
  • Why did the trigonometric function go to the tanning salon? Cos sin tan
    (Because suntan)
  • Tangential Is not a word to be used in a tanning salon.
Salon joke, Tangential

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about salon can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of salon puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Rib-Tickling Salon Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about salon you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean beauty shop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make salon prank.

dumb blonde

A blond walk into a hair salon with headphones on and sits down in a chair. The blonde asks the woman working there for a haircut. The woman takes of the headphones and cuts the blondes hair. After she is finished she looks down and to her surprise finds the blonde dead. The woman puts on the headphones and hears this "Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breath in.......Breath out"

What happened?

A passerby saw a man laid flat on the sidewalk in front of the local beauty shop and ran to offer assistance. As the man came blinking into consciousness, the passerby asked, What happened?
The man rubbed the back of his head and said, I don't know! Last thing I remember, my wife was coming out of the salon there and I said, Well, at least they tried.

My Girlfriend's Hair

My girlfriend came home last night, crying, inconsolable. She had just gone to the hair salon and they cut her hair WAY too short, like, four inches too short. I said baby, what are you worried about? It'll grow back eventually. I'm the one who has to find a new girlfriend.

I'm planning on opening a combined cocktail bar and waxing salon.

I'm going to call it "Gin and Bare It".

The owner of Rachel Dolezal's tanning salon is releasing a "tell all" book...

...among the many juicy details revealed is Professor Dolezal's favourite television programme... Orange Is The New Black.

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed?

Defiled.

What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns?

Scissor Sisters
*ba-dum-tiss*

A beautiful girl...

...was giving a pedicure to a man who was at the same time also getting a shave at a salon. The man says
"What about a date later?"
"Am married", she replied.
The man said:
"So?, call your husband and tell him you are going to visit a girlfriend"
She said:
"You should tell him yourself, he is shaving you".

I want to open a dog grooming salon.

I'm going to call it d**...'.

A blonde walks into a hair salon and asks to be s**... bald

"I think you should stay blonde," says the Parlor

What's the most unfortunate store name for a salon?

Pedi-File

News: A car crashed into a hair salon yesterday afternoon.

Still waiting for the highlight!

A flustered carpenter holding a hammer entered a premise. The ladies in there gaped. Finally, the lady at the counter asked: "What's up?"

"Thought this was a nail salon..." he muttered, before hurrying off.

Bought a new camera today…

and wanted to test it out. I was looking for a good subject and found a salon where a guy was cutting a woman's hair. I went in and asked him if I could take some pictures. He said she wanted a rainbow look, and it would be great to get some before and after pics to capture the coloring process.
That's when I shot a man, just to watch him dye.

A Newcastle girl goes into a hair salon

The stylist says "Why aye lass, what do yee want?"
"Can I have a perm please?" says the customer. The stylist responds:
*Ah wandered lernley as a cloud that flerts on high oer vales an' hills...*

Salon joke, What do you get when you forget the difference between a saloon and a salon?

jokes about salon

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these salon jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.