Silly & Ridiculous Salmon Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
People say smoking will give you diseases.
What they don't know is that it cures salmon.
Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you
What they don't tell you is that it cures salmon
Fish Cakes
A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, "Do you sell fish cakes here?"
Bartender: No we don't.
Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday.
A man walks into the bakers...
A man walks into the bakers with a salmon under his arm. He asks the woman behind the counter "Excuse me, do you serve fish cakes?"
The woman replies, "Of course we don't!"
The man points to the fish and shouts - "Well what am I supposed to do?! Its his birthday!"
A couple went out to eat ...
A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.
The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"
She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."
A Salmon under his arm
Man walks into a fish shop with a salmon under his arm and says to the fishmonger "You got any fishcakes mate?". The fishmonger replies "Course we do mate, it's a fish shop!". "GREAT" replies the man pointing to his salmon "It's his BIRTHDAY!"
Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?
To the river bank!
Smoking is a scientific wonder!
It kills people, but cures salmon.
A lion goes into a restaurant
He sits down, and starts looking through the menu. After a while, the waiter comes over.
"What would you like to drink, sir?" Asked the waiter.
"A glass of the house wine please." The lion responds.
"Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?"
"Sounds delicious!"
"And what can I get you for your main?"
"Oh, just a comb."
My other half and I went to a restaurant.
I said to the waitress, "Can I have the lemon grilled salmon?"
"Do you want anything on the side?"
I said, "I can't answer that with my wife sitting next to me."
Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?
He didnt use the main stream
You can explore salmon seafood reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean salmon shrimp dad jokes. There are also salmon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Has anybody ever noticed that you can get salmonella from chicken...but not chickenmonella from salmon?
If smoking is so bad for you
How come it cures salmon?
A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant
And the waiter says, Sorry, we don't serve fish.
A salmon is swimming up a river
A salmon is swimming up a river. It hits a wall. Dam.
What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?
You got salmonella
I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you...
I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...
What happens when you put Nutella on Salmon?
You get salmonella
Sorry if it's a repost. My friends just told me it:)
What do you get when you put nutella on salmon?
You get salmonella.
Hahahaha...pew pew pew...haha...*begins sobbing*
What do you call a salmon that's wearing a tie?
Sofishticated
Tracking efficiency in dogs rises 300% when fed diets of salmon.
Give it a fish an' see
What's pink, moist and smells fishy?
Salmon.
I found this great charity that I can donate all my brined salmon to!
Lox of Love
I found this cool charity that lets you donate brined salmon to those in need.
Lox of Love
Why don't salmon watch cable television?
They prefer streams.
Do you know what it's like to be a fish?
I don't, but Alaska Salmon.
They say smoking causes cancer
But it cures salmon
Me: I only got the bear essentials.
Wife: You mean bare essentials.
Me: *removes live salmon from mouth* I said what I said
I have a pet fish that I named Ella.
She is a pretty fish, a salmon. I show her off to my friends and say This is Salmon Ella .
Did you know that raw chicken gives you salmonella but...
Raw salmon doesn't give you chickenella?
People say smoking can cause diseases
But then how does it cure salmon?
My friend is making a lot of money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It's like shooting fish in apparel.
My buddy was telling about his new hobby of photographing Salmon in different outfits.
Apparently it's just like shooting fish in apparel.
LPT: An easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in a formal outfit.
It's like shooting fish in apparel.
If smoking kills...
Then why does it cure salmon?
It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says do you have fish cakes? The man behind the counter replies, No .
That's a pity, it's his birthday
People say smoking will give you diseases
But how can they say that when it cures salmon!!
(Lol im a smoking chef and when i heard this joke I coughed my lungs like i have the rona. Had to post it )
Dracula
Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer
The easiest way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It's like shooting fish in apparel.
I've heard people say that smoking will give me diseases
But what they don't know is it cures salmon!
Tonight I made salmon for supper
As it was gently cooking in a warm bath of garlic, herbs, lemon, wine, and onion I got a visit from a Fish and Wildlife officer. He said sir we have reason to believe that salmon has been poached
People always say smoking will give you diseases...
Then how come People use it to cure salmon
I got pretty sick after eating some raw salmon
It's a bad case of chickenella.
My friend was telling me about a salmon that could break into safes...
Turned out to be a lox myth.
What do you call it when a salmon accidentally fertilizes his sisters eggs?
Roe Tide
People say smoking will give you diseases…
But how can they say that when it cures salmon?
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel
I keep a folder on fish that swim upstream and can give you a disease if not cooked properly.
The Salmon Manila
How do salmon listen to music?
They stream it!
Everyone tells you that smoking causes cancer…
What they don't tell you is that it cures salmon!
Our local fish market ranks their catches on how rare they are
I noticed today that they had rare salmon. It definitely isn't common plaice!
