Sally Jokes
92 sally jokes and hilarious sally puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sally that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a laugh? Look no further! This collection of jokes will have you chuckling as Nancy and Judy share their best Jack and Sally jokes from the playground. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the funny!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Sally Short Jokes
Short sally jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sally humour may include short sandy jokes also.
- Adam gave Sally 3 flowers and 1 stuffed animal. Kristen gave Sally 5 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? cancer.
- Sally can't sell seashells down by the seashore anymore... She was busted for conch-traband.
- Sally and Jessica used to bond over being the only two virgins at their University... They don't see each other much anymore but they're still tight.
- My mom's sister was telling me she forgot a bunch of basic math... Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally
- Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms
knock knock
whos there?
not sally - Life Pro Tip ~ if you start watching, "When Harry Met Sally" at exactly 11:15 pm on New Year's Eve, when the clock strikes midnight... You'll still be just as single as when you started the movie...
- I once dated a girl who had a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. Sally was on the left side of the hip.
- In honor of my Cake Day, I offer a joke I heard from an 8 year old. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any hands.
Knock Knock
— Who's there?
Not Sally - A fort under siege held a 100m race for the women. Mary, Pam and carol were the top three, sally fourth.
- Sally sells seashells down by the seashore. But that's just a front for Pied Piper's pickled peppers, shipped inside woodchuck chucked wood.
Share These Sally Jokes With Friends
Sally One Liners
Which sally one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sally? I can suggest the ones about carol and molly.
- Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus.
- Where did Sally go after the nukes were dropped? Everywhere.
- Knock knock Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because I threw a fridge at her - Why should I excuse your dear aunt Sally? Her operations were not unprecedented.
- Who is the rudest person in my mathematical family? Aunt Sally
- Why did Sally fall down the hill? I pushed her.
- Why does little sally have a limp? SHE WENT TO JARED!
- What did no arm Sally get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.
- What is Sally Hawkins's favorite food? Fishdicks
- Sally had 4 cookies. Tyrone steals 4 of them. What colour is Tyrone?
- How was sally after the fire? Well done.
- What kind of lizard gives out college loans? A Sallie-Mae-nder
- Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got shot!
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD - why did sally fall off the swings she pooped herself
- Why did the IT Admin marry Sally? She had a 19" rack.
Sally No Arms Jokes
Here is a list of funny sally no arms jokes and even better sally no arms puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why couldnt Sally swing? She had no arms
Why did Billy drop his icecream?
He got hit by a bus - Sally Hey did you hear about Sally who fell down and broke both her arms?
Hilarious Sally Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about sally you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jenny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sally pranks.
Bottle of Wine
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.'
Can little girls have babies?
Little Johnny asks his mom "Can little girls have babies?"
Little Johnny's mom looks puzzled and replies "Of course not."
Little Johnny excitedly runs back to the window and yells to little Sally "It's OK! we can play that game again!"
The elementary class was learning about addition...
The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."
Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"
Johnny says, "Six."
The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny again says, "Seven."
The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"
Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old one my late grandmother used to tell
In a Catholic school English classroom, a nun was giving the lesson.
"Today, children, we'll be talking about rhyme. Does anyone have a rhyme they'd like to share?"
Several little hands shot up. The nun pointed to the smallest girl, Sally, in the front.
"Hey, d**..., d**...,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon."
"Very good, Sally." said the nun. "Who else?" She called on a little boy, Jack.
"It has my name in it!
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe."
"Wonderful rhyme, Jack!" replied the nun. Now, in the back of the class sat Michael. Michael came from a loud Irish family and was known as a troublemaker. The nun had tried to pick the other students before him, but he was beginning to make a commotion so she sighed and called out "yes, Michael."
"I've got a rhyme for you, Sister" he said.
"Mary came from Boston, Mass. and went into the water up to her knees."
"Michael," began the nun, "that doesn't rhyme."
"Oh, I know Sister. But wait until the tide comes in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor Ajmal.
After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who Hasn't Read The Grapes of Wrath?
Farm boy John takes the cow to the neighboring farm which has a bull to have her inseminated. The neighboring farm also has neighbor farmer's daughter Sally. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? It's your cow".
Little Johnny's peanut
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won't believe it! Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! It was like a peanut."
The mom replies, "Oh, it was small?"
Little Sally says, "No, it was salty."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buckwheat and Sally were fooling around in class...
...when the teacher rapped her wooden pointer down on the desk.
"Alright class, who can spell the word 'dictate?'"
"I can! I can!" Buckwheat said, waving his arm up in the air.
"Don't be silly Buckwheat. You don't even know how to spell."
"I do. I do, teacher. I know how to 'pell."
"Alright then. How do you spell dictate?"
"Um...d...i...c...t..a...t...e. Dictate."
"That's really good, Buckwheat. I'm really proud of you. And can you use it in a sentence?"
"y**... I can. y**... I can, teacher. Hey Tally, how my dictate la't night?"
You ever hear what happened to Sally?
"You ever hear what happened to sally?"
"Why no, why don't you tell me?"
"She got her arms blown off in a war.."
*silence*.......
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Not Sally."
My 12 year old son is already trying to be a dad
He gave me three jokes:
Q: Why couldn't Sam go on the swing set at school?
A: Because he's a turtle.
Q: Why couldn't Sally go on the swing set at school?
A: Because she doesn't have any arms.
Knock knock
(Who's there?)
Well, obviously not Sally!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
Because it was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the first
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see monkey do
Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
Because it had no arms
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
Because she was hit with 3 monkeys and a refrigerator
There are 500 bricks on a plane...
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
A teacher asks his students to make a sentence with the word "contagious"...
...Sally answers, "Viruses are contagious."
"Very good Sally. Anybody else?", the teacher says.
Ben puts up his hand, "When I hear someone laugh, I like to laugh as well, because laughter is contagious".
"Thankyou Ben, that was a good example", replies the teacher.
Then Timmy puts up his hand. "Yes Timmy", asks the teacher.
"My neighbour was painting the outside of his house with a two inch brush, and my Dad said that it would take the contagious."
A Navajo woman asked me about a box of chocolates...
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two, then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
Yeah It is Result of Marriage
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
Yes, says Sally, a lock of my husband's hair.
But Larry's still alive.
I know, but his hair is gone.
Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?
He kept trying to tune her G string.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A long series of jokes
503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
_502._
How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
_Open door, put elephant in, close door._
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
_Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door._
The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
_The giraffe. He's in a fridge._
Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
_The gators are at the party._
Sally dies anyway. Why?
_She got hit in the head by a flying brick._
---
**
Q. 500 bricks are on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
A. 499
Q. What are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. Open Door, put elephant in refrigerator, close door
Q. What are four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. Open door, take elephant out of refrigerator, put giraffe in refrigerator, close door
Q. The lion throws a huge birthday party. All the animals but one go. Which is it and why?
A. The giraffe: he's still in the refrigerator
Q. Sally swims across an alligator infested river and doesn't get eaten. How?
A. The alligators are at the lion's birthday party
Q. Sally is found dead within the next 5 minutes: why?
A. She was hit by a brick falling from the sky
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why didn't Sally become a p**... to pay her bills?
Because it was Plan B.
A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If sally sold more than sea shells down by the seashore
The Depressed Student
Sally noticed that one of her students had been suffering from depression for the last few weeks. She decided to ask him some easy questions in an effort to engage him. Johnny, if I subtract 4 from 12 what do I get?"
Johnny looked at her and sighed, "I don't know. What difference does it make?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy goes to confessional...
Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 1 week since my last confession."
Father: "What is your sin?"
Boy: "Fornication with a girl in the parish."
Father: "What girl?"
Boy: "I won't say"
Father: "Was it Sally?"
Boy: "I'm not telling!"
Father: "It was Jane, wasn't it."
Boy: "I'm not going to say!"
Father: "It had to be Jessica"
Boy: "Father, I'm not going to tell you!"
Father: "Fine. Do 3 Hail Mary's and sin no more."
Boy leaves confessional and returns to a friend who is waiting for him on the pew.
Friend: "How'd it go in there?"
Boy: "Went great! I got three new leads!"
A brick fell from an airplane
How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator in 3 steps? You open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in and close the refrigerator.
How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator in 4 steps? You open the refrigerator, take the giraffe out, put the elephant inside and close the refrigerator.
A lion is having a birthday and all the animals are there except for one, which one is it? The elephant isn't there, he's in a refrigerator.
Sally has to cross a river populated by crocodiles, how does she do it without dying? She just swims across, all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party.
Sally still dies, why? Because she got hit by the brick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Timmy's english lesson...
...was about food today.
"Good morning class" says the teacher, "today's lesson is about food! Let's start by mentioning things we can eat. Come on kids."
Sally raises her arm "bread!"
"Very good, Sally!" Says the teacher.
"Cornflakes!" says Billy.
"Good one, cornflakes! Anyone else?"
Timmy raises his hand and yells "Lamps!'
The teacher pauses for a moment, confused: "Lamps? You can't eat lamps, what made you think that?"
Timmy: "well last night I was walking past my parent's bedroom and I heard my dad say to my mom: turn off the lamp cause I'm gonna shove it down your t**...."
The Softball Player
Sally used to play softball, but she could never make it home because of her chastity belt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Words that start with "S" s**....
Girl: Tom, I've come to realize something about the letter s.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: Words that start with s s**....
Boy: What do you mean?
Girl: Well, snakes s**.... So does a sting, and so does getting stabbed.
Boy: Well, Sally, if thats the case I'd like to have you over tonight for dinner.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The class comes in from recess and gets a spelling quiz...
"Jimmy, what did you do during recess?" asks the teacher.
"I played in the sand box with Sally!"
"That's great! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you get a cookie!"
Jimmy does and gets his reward.
"Sally, what did you do during recess?"
"I played in the sand box with Jimmy!"
"Wow! If you can spell 'box' on the board, you get a cookie!"
Sally does and gets a cookie.
"Jamal, what did you do during recess?"
"I tried to play with Sally and Jimmy but they just threw rocks at me."
"Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the board, you get a cookie!"
Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.
Sally : I like your hair teacher!
Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!
George : I like your teeth teacher!
T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.
Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!
T : well, tell us.
Johhny : A milkman!
If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?
499.
What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge
What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.
Report Card
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in class. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Mommy, mommy! Little Johnny pulled out his thingy and showed it to me in the tree house!"
Sally's mother gasped, but didn't want to embarrass her. "Well, what did you think?" she asked.
"It reminded me of a peanut."
"You mean it was small?" her mother chuckled.
"No!" said Sally. "It was salty!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jack and Sally were re-tracing their steps and visiting all the places they saw on their honeymoon, 30 years previously.
Look, Sal, isn't that the little stream we paddled in, and over
there…do you remember I sat you on that wall and we made
love? Come on, let's do it again.
So he put Sally on the fence and they got down to business,
but this time Sally went absolutely wild.
Gosh, Sal, that was incredible, you didn't do that last time
we were here.
No, she replied, but back then, the fence wasn't
electrified.
A class comes in from recess and is given a spelling test.
"Jimmy, what did you do during recess" asks the teacher. "I played in the sandbox with Sally" says Jimmy. "That's great! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you get a cookie!" Jimmy does and gets his reward.
"Sally, what did you do during recess?" "I played in the sand box with Jimmy!" "Wow! If you can spell 'box' on the board, you get a cookie!" Sally does and gets a cookie.
"Jamal, what did you do during recess?" "I tried to play with Sally and Jimmy but they just threw rocks at me." "Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the board, you get a cookie!"
If there are 1000 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are on the plane?
999
How many steps does it take to put a alligator in a fridge?
3 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Put alligator in fridge
3. Close fridge door
How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in a fridge?
4 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Take alligator out of fridge
3. Put giraffe in fridge
4. Close fridge door
The Lion King is having a birthday party. The giraffe doesn't come. Why?
He's still stuck in the fridge
Sally is trying to cross an alligator-infested river, yet she managed to cross it unscathed. How?
All the alligators were still at the Lion King's birthday party
Sally died anyway. Why?
A brick fell on her head
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was sally mopping the floor?
Because she was a s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is Sally short for?
o**...
Grandma: Were you a good girl at church today, Sally?
Sally: Yes, I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money, I said, No, thank you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why'd Sally fall off the swing?
I hit her with an axe
Purchased Vs. Homemade
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.
"Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! that I was HOMEMADE."
So I heard this word problem from grade school.....
If you have five crystals, and billy takes four crystals, and sally gives you two crystals, how many crystals do you have?
It was then that I realized the kids were all doing crystal math.
Little Johnny is in class and his teacher is teaching about description. She reaches into a bag and feels around. She says "Sally, what I'm feeling something round and firm, what is it?"
Sally says "a ball" and teacher says "nope it's an orange". The teacher then reaches in and goes " what I'm feeling is smooth and flat and flexible, David, what is it?"David says"a piece of paper?" "No" goes the teacher "a piece of aluminum foil" Johnny stands up, reaches into his pocket and goes" teacher! I'm feeling something long hard with a firm pink tip, what am I feeling?" Teacher shouts"JOHNNY THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Johnny says" nope it's a pencil"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock
Whos there?
Not Sally.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
We don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
What did Sally get for her birthday?
Cancer.
After his rich uncle's death, he was very anxious about his uncle fortune.
"Am I mentioned in the will?" he asked repeatedly.
"Of course you are," replied the solicitor.
Right here in the second page your uncle says:
"To my niece Sally, I bequeath $123,000; to my cousin Thomas, $55,000; and to my nephew Ricky, who was always asking too know if he's mentioned in my will, HELLO RICKY - I didn't forget to mention your name, did I?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Limmerick from The Crown on Netflix
There once was a girl named Sally
Who enjoyed the occasional dally
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap
And cried "Sir! You're right up my alley."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Sally comes home from school munching on a big bag of candy...
Her mother says, "Where'd you get the money for that!?"
Sally laughs and says, "Little Johnny bet me five dollars I couldn't climb up the flag pole! I did it, and I won!"
Her mother shakes her head. "You d**...! He was just trying to get a peek at your p**...!"
"Oh no!" Little Sally says, embarrassed.
But the next day, she comes home with two bags of candy.
Her mother says, "Did Little Johnny pay you to climb the flag pole again!??"
"Yes!" says Little Sally. "But I sure fooled him! I didn't even wear any p**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a young lady named Sally
Who enjoyed the occasional dally.
She sat on the lap of a well-endowed chap
and said, "Sir, you're right up my alley!"
3 animals are accused of a terrible crime. Sally the pig, Juan the eagle, and Carl the otter. A famous detective is brought in to investigate. He interrogates all 3 suspects and immediately decides it's not the pig. But why?
It's always Juan or the otter
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Just bought a new car, I named her Sally," he tells the bartender. "You're an adult now, you really shouldn't anthropomorphize things," the bartender says. "Why not?" the guys asks. "Because they don't like it," the bartender replies.
