Salesperson Jokes
22 salesperson jokes and hilarious salesperson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about salesperson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Salesperson Short Jokes
Short salesperson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The salesperson humour may include short salesman jokes also.
- So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, "Is this a finished desk?"
and she says, "No, it's Swedish."
(edited to make more better) - A UNIX Salesperson A unix salesperson named Lenore
Loved her job, but loved the beach more.
She devised such a way
to combine work and play:
She sells C-shells by the seashore
- The happiest person I know is a lubricant salesperson... I guess you could say they don't have a lot of friction in their life.
- I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson. I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
- Salesperson at a big furniture store: "You put no money down and make no payments for 12 months!" Me (nervously): "Who told you about us?"
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Salesperson One Liners
Which salesperson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with salesperson? I can suggest the ones about sales people and salesman up.
- What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson? A gap in coverage.
- What did the salesperson say to the little boy wanting a gold-plated dreidel? Je-wish!
- What does a bird who is also a salesperson say? Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap.
- I went on a date with a Vacuum Salesperson last night... It s**....
Gather Around for Fun Salesperson Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about salesperson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car salesman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make salesperson pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv."
The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv."
Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that tv."
But the salesman still said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked.
The salesman answered: "Cause that's a microwave.
My brother works in the garage door business
I asked him how it is. He said it has its ups and downs.
He's really happy for the job, though. The opportunity was really an open door for him.
Apparently they've made him into their main salesperson, since he really knows how to close the deal.
I hope you found these puns to be....uplifting.
A favorite joke from my Dad
Eric walks into a plant nursery. Surrounded by lush potted plants, he selects an attractive hibiscus and proceeds to casually eat the leaves from its branches. A concerned salesperson walks up to him quickly.
"May I help you?" The salesperson asks.
"No thanks," answers Eric, "I'm just browsing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Shopping for a new mattress and the salesperson s**...
What kind of salesman refuses to be the little spoon?
A store manager watches from a distance as a salesperson argues with a customer.
After a few minutes, the customer storms out of the store.
I saw what just happened, the manager says, and I guess you've forgotten my motto of 'the customer is always right.'
I know, the salesperson says, but . . .
No buts, says the manager. The customer is always right.
Fine, responds the salesperson.
What were you two arguing about? the manager asks.
The salesperson answers, He called you an idiot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde walks into a store
She sees a TV within her price range and tells the salesperson "I'd like to buy this TV"
"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
She decides to go home and dye her hair black and returns the next day to buy the TV.
Once again.. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Desperate for a new TV, she goes home and dyes her hair red.
She enters the store the next day with confidence that she'll finally be able to buy a new TV.
Once again the salesperson told her "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes."
Not understanding how she could possibly be denied after all she's done, she asks: "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Well, because that's not a TV, that's a microwave."
A Spanish guy is shopping in London...
A Spanish man went into a clothing store where the salesperson only spoke English. Walking up to the nearest sales clerk, the man said, Quiero calcetines, por favor. The clerk shook his head and said, I don't speak Spanish.
The sales clerk and the man walked around the store, the clerk pointing at jackets, sweaters, pants, and shoes, hoping to find what the Spanish man needed. Finally, the clerk pointed at a table of socks, and the Spanish man exclaimed, Eso, si que es! Wide-eyed, the sales clerk said, If you could spell it, why didn't you say so before!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Divorced Barbie
One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's
birthday.
He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean?"
"We have, work out Barbie for $19.95, shopping Barbie for $19.95, beach Barbie for $19.95, disco Barbie for $19.95, astronaut Barbie for $19.95, skater Barbie for $19.95, and divorced Barbie for $265.95".
The amazed father asks: "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:
"Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's truck, Ken's house, Ken's fishing boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's dog, Ken's computer, one of Ken's friends, and a key chain made from Ken's t**...."
Smart Boy
In a Store a man asked for 1/2 packet of butter.
The salesperson, a young boy, said that only full packs were available in the Store,
but the man insisted on buying only 1/2.
So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 pack of butter .
To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him..!
So the boy added immediately, And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!! .
After the customer left, the manager said You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?
To this the boy said, I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!
The manager replied coldly, My wife is also from Brazil .
To this the boy asked excitedly, Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?
