The Best 18 Salami Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Salami jokes. There are some salami provolone jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these salami salvador puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Salami Jokes and Puns

A salami goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him "Sorry, I can't help you, ..."

"... you're already cured."

The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." 

Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami?

At the Nelson Mandeli.

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

This happened at the Deli counter today...real life joke

Me (at the deli counter): I'd like some salami please, about a pound, sliced thin?

DeliGirl: Genoa salami?

Me: Yeah, I know a couple.

I was addicted to lunch meats, but I quit cold turkey.

I'm still hooked on salami and roast beef though.

I ate my brother's salami sandwich instead of my pepperoni.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Salami joke, I ate my brother's salami sandwich instead of my pepperoni.

This sub is the best.

It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10

A woman goes to the grocery store

A woman goes to the grocery store. It's a regular Saturday afternoon. At the end of the shopping she is going to the cashier. She puts following items on the conveyor belt: pepper, cucumber, salami, ham, cheese and Oreos. The cashier does his job and scanns the items and then asks: "madam, are you single?". The woman is confused and asks: "yes, how do you know?". The cashier replies: "because you are ugly af."

Boy was I confused when I tried Grindr.

I was looking for sandwiches but all I found was a lot of salami.

What do The Police (the band) order from the deli?




You can explore salami slab reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean salami slice dad jokes. There are also salami puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I've just tried some of the Elvis Costello's new mediterranean sausages.

They were wonderful.
I think olive salami is here to stay.

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

I asked for a few slices of salami at the grocery store.

Since there was only a small piece of salami left, I added: "Without fingertips, please."

As a good deed, I carried an old lady's groceries home today.

The salami was good, but I didn't like the instant soups.

What do Salami and Appalachians have in common?

They're both usually inbred.

Salami joke, What do Salami and Appalachians have in common?

What do you call a Somali Islamist?

A Salami.

What did the gay Muslim say?

Ah, salami, me like 'em.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the salami hoagie puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working salami sandwich piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes