Salami Jokes

31 salami jokes and hilarious salami puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about salami that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Salami Short Jokes

Short salami jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The salami humour may include short sausage jokes also.

  1. A salami goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him "Sorry, I can't help you, ..." "... you're already cured."
  2. This happened at the Deli counter today...real life joke Me (at the deli counter): I'd like some salami please, about a pound, sliced thin?
    DeliGirl: Genoa salami?
    Me: Yeah, I know a couple.
  3. I was addicted to lunch meats, but I quit cold turkey. I'm still hooked on salami and roast beef though.
  4. This sub is the best. It has salami, pepperoni, lettuce, black olives, green peppers, provolone cheese, and oil. 10/10
  5. Boy was I confused when I tried Grindr. I was looking for sandwiches but all I found was a lot of salami.
  6. I've just tried some of the Elvis Costello's new mediterranean sausages. They were wonderful.
    I think olive salami is here to stay.
  7. I asked for a few slices of salami at the grocery store. Since there was only a small piece of salami left, I added: "Without fingertips, please."
  8. As a good deed, I carried an old lady's groceries home today. The salami was good, but I didn't like the instant soups.
  9. Sad news about the great Japanese mathematician Hiodiku Salami. I heard he committed sudoku.
  10. I am a hero. With lettuce, tomato, turkey, ham, salami, oregano, oil & vinegar.

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Salami One Liners

Which salami one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with salami? I can suggest the ones about sandwich meat and salmon.

  1. Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli.
  2. Why did the salami fill out a police report? Because it was a salted meat.
  3. I ate my brother's salami sandwich instead of my pepperoni. Whoops, wrong sub.
  4. What did the Italian Meat say after paying for everyone's food? 'Salami
  5. What do The Police (the band) order from the deli? ##SALAMI
  6. What makes a salami excited? When the ham is cured!
  7. What do you call a Somali Islamist? A Salami.
  8. What did the gay Muslim say? Ah, salami, me like 'em.
  9. What do you say to a Muslim butcher? Salami Alaikum
  10. What did the arab order on his sandwich? salami, salami, balogna
  11. How did the Muslim greet a Caribbean man holding lunch meat? "Ah! Salami Jamaican!"
  12. Baloney, baloney, baloney... salami.
  13. what did the rapman say to other rapman yo tony
    where did you get that fresh salami?
  14. If Muslims dont eat pork, why do they greet each other with "A salami link? Yum!" ?
  15. Where does Doctor Who go to get his salami?...The Dalek-atessan of course.:D

Salami joke, Where does Doctor Who go to get his salami?...The Dalek-atessan of course.:D

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Salami Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about salami you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean german sausage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make salami pranks.

The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.
"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!
"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." 

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.
Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

A woman goes to the grocery store

A woman goes to the grocery store. It's a regular Saturday afternoon. At the end of the shopping she is going to the cashier. She puts following items on the conveyor belt: pepper, cucumber, salami, ham, cheese and Oreos. The cashier does his job and scanns the items and then asks: "madam, are you single?". The woman is confused and asks: "yes, how do you know?". The cashier replies: "because you are ugly af."

Salami joke, As a good deed, I carried an old lady's groceries home today.