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Salad Jokes

191 salad jokes and hilarious salad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about salad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your way through lunch with our collection of funny salad jokes. From puns about caesar salad to silly jokes about fruit salad and potato salad, there's something for everyone! Get your greens and giggles with chicken salad, greek salad and more. Plus, find out how lettuce and vinaigrette can lead to guacamole.

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Funniest Salad Short Jokes

Short salad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The salad humour may include short salmon jokes also.

  1. My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the dry side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
  2. I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD.
    I peed
  3. I always knock on the front door of my fridge ... Just in case there is a salad dressing.
  4. I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory. The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
  5. I said to a fat girl today... I said to a fat girl today,
    "You're a big girl!"
    She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."
    I said, "Salad tastes nice"
  6. I was reading through the ingredients for a fruit salad I'm making today It said: "Pineapples: five cubed."
    I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many.
  7. Why should you knock on a refrigerator door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing
  8. A man named Eric Cole... ... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
    He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.
  9. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
  10. Today, I walked into a restaurant. "Hi, is my table ready?"
    "No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"
    "No, that's okay."
    "Great, take these salads to table six then."

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Salad One Liners

Which salad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with salad? I can suggest the ones about sushi and lunch.

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
  2. What does a priest put on salad? Lettuce spray
  3. What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad.
  4. Any salad can be a Caesar salad. If you stab it enough.
  5. What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure salad
  6. Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  7. What do you call the salad of an epileptic chef? A seizure salad.
  8. What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad.
  9. I always knock before I open a fridge Just in case there's a salad dressing
  10. What do you call a spring equinox party with vegetables? A salad-bra-tion!
  11. What do you call a hen staring at a bowl of shredded lettuce? Chicken sees a salad
  12. I dreamt I was making a salad. I was tossing all night.
  13. You should always knock on the fridge door.. Just in case there's a salad dressing.
  14. I made a salad yesterday. It wasn't very good.
    So I tossed it.
  15. What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.

Caesar Salad Jokes

Here is a list of funny caesar salad jokes and even better caesar salad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you know that if you stab a salad 23 times, It becomes a Caesar Salad
  • How do you make a Caesar salad from a salad? You stab it 23 times
  • What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
  • How do you turn a garden salad into a caesar salad? Stab it a bunch of times.
  • I got stabbed by my friends at lunch today Guess I shouldn't have ordered the Caesar salad
  • I made a Salad for 23 people to destroy It was a Caesar salad
  • What did Shakespeare eat for lunch? Caesar salad.
  • Any salad can be a Caesar salad so long as you stab it enough times.
  • What do you call a Chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken Caesar Salad
  • How do you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it 23 times.

Chicken Salad Jokes

Here is a list of funny chicken salad jokes and even better chicken salad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Just made a chicken salad... Not even sure if chicken's like salad, but I guess we're about to find out
  • From my 9 year old niece... What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad? Chicken sees a salad.
  • I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.
  • What do you call a chicken staring at a salad? A chicken sees her salad
  • Why did the chicken stare at a piece of lettuce? Because chicken sees a salad.
  • What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.
  • Why are epileptic chickens immediately killed? No one wants a chicken seizure salad...
  • Put some lettuce, sliced tomatoes, cucumber in front of a chicken, what does it see? The chicken sees a salad!
  • What is a person with epilepsy's favourite salad? Chicken Seizure Salad.
  • What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce? A chicken ceaser salad.
Salad joke, What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce?

Tossed Salad Jokes

Here is a list of funny tossed salad jokes and even better tossed salad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had a disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad >!I was tossing all night!<
  • What's the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
  • What's the worst part of being a cook in prison? Having to toss everyone's salad
  • I realized today that I really only have two options when it comes to a career path. I'm going to end up in jail or working at Olive Garden. Either way endless salads are getting tossed.
  • What do vegans do for foreplay? Toss each other's salads of course.
  • I think my wife is overdoing her lent observance. She won't even toss my salad.
  • Whats worse, being a vegan inmate or non vegan? Or non vegan inmate*
    Depends on whether you want to eat meat or toss salad.
  • Why do you think I dated a vegetarian? So I can get my salad tossed
  • Why are most chefs male? No one can toss a salad better than a man.
  • My last gf was so Mexican... that I needed a glass of milk to toss her salad.

Fruit Salad Jokes

Here is a list of funny fruit salad jokes and even better fruit salad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm a responsible adult Last night I had a salad for dinner. It was a fruit salad and had grapes. Lots of grapes. It was all grapes. It was wine
  • I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
  • Why didn't the fruit salad get sunburnt? Because it had plenty of melon in.
  • What do you call a gay vegan? A fruit salad!
  • Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.
  • What do you get when you cross a sad dog and a fruit salad? A Mellon Collie
  • What do you call an antelope who gets sick from the fruit salad the morning of his wedding? A cantelope
    Guys I'm so proud of this joke
  • Knowledge is knowing than a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing you shouldn't put it a fruit salad..... humor is doing it anyway.
  • My fruit salad is now all currants. I updated the recipe when I realized I was out of dates.
  • What did the religious salad say to the fruit Lettuce rejoice and be grapeful

Potato Salad Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato salad jokes and even better potato salad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"
  • What do you call a group of people with down syndrome a potato salad.
  • What do you call mexican potato salad? Juan Cena
  • What did Dave Matthews see when he spilled the potato salad at the picnic? Ants Marching
  • What did Jeffrey d**... do when he found out his victim had down syndrome? He made a potato salad.
Salad joke, What did Jeffrey d**... do when he found out his victim had down syndrome?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about salad can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of salad puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Playful Salad Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about salad you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sandwich jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make salad prank.

Why was the lettuce embarrassed?

It saw the salad dressing.

What did the salad say before being eaten

Lettuce go.

Not sure if reposting but I thought this was funny.

So there are three girls in line for cucumbers. The first girl gets to the front of the line and says " I want a long and skinny cucumber". The second girl came up and said " I want a short and fat cucumber". The last girl came up and said " I just want a cucumber that's good for making a salad."

I guess she's got me there.

I stopped at a restaurant for dinner. The waitress asked me if I would like a salad, and I said, "I'll pass, even though I know I shouldn't." And she said, "Seahawks fan, huh?"

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris

The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"

I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder.

It came with rice and a salad.

What's an epileptic persons favorite appetizer?

Seizure Salad.

What did the priest say before eating his salad?

"Lettuce pray"

Measure of Attributes

Endurance is being able withstand having tomatoes thrown at you
Strength is being able to throw a heavy tomato
Agility is being able to dodge thrown tomatoes
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.

I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night...

"You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said.
"Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.
"Salad tastes nice."

What does an epileptic vegetarian eat?

Seizure salad

How do you make a salad wrap?

By adding some beets

Why was the ketchup in the refrigerator embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing! Thank you thank you..

Did you hear about the salad who went missing?

All they found were its chard romaines

Why did the tomato turn red

It saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter.

I like my h**... like I like my salad dressing...

On the side

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What do you call a bowl full of leaves and epileptics?

Seizure Salad.

McDonald's

Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a p**... for a hug.

A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...

And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"

Where do Salads try on clothes?

The dressing room

In a restaurant, a boy asks his Dad "are bugs ok to eat?" His Dad says "We don't talk about bugs while we eat. Let's discuss them later". When they are finished and waiting for their check, the Dad asks his son "now what were you asking me about?"

"Oh, nothing, really" the boy replied. There was a bug in your salad, but now it's gone."

What do you call a a bunch of epileptic vegans at a rave?

Seizure Salad

What type of salad does an epileptic eat?

A seizure salad.

You guys ever heard of Murphy's law?

Murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.
You guys ever heard of Cole's law? Its thinly sliced cabbage with a vinaigrette, salad dressing.

What do transgenders put on their salad?

Crossdressing

Why did the woman blush when she opened her refrigerator?

Because she saw the salad dressing.
I had never heard this until today. Made me chuckle a bit.

I made a tuna salad this morning.

s**... thing didn't even eat it.

What is worse than finding a bug in your salad?

Getting anally r**... by a rhinoceros.

What does an epileptic person eat?

Seizure salad

What's an epileptic Roman's favorite food?

seizure salad

I'm epileptic. My friend dumped a bunch of lettuce on me.

I am now a seizure salad.

What do you call it when you give an epileptic a r**...?

A seizure salad.

I made a chicken salad this morning

s**... thing won't even eat it.

My family was being held captive by a salad

It wouldn't lettuce leaf

What were Julius Caesar's dying words?

name... a salad.... after me...ahhh

This sub has been disappointing me lately.

I'm going to try a salad next time.

What did the epileptic vegetarian always have for dinner?

Seizure salad...

If you see me in a restaurant and I am having a salad

I have been kidnapped and I am signaling you.

How do you make a ceaser salad from a regular salad?

Stab it 23 times.

When the logician was given a choice between eternal bliss and a ham salad, which one did he choose?

Ham salad, because nothing is better than eternal bliss, and ham salad is better than nothing.

You're surely familiar with Murphy's Law, but do you know what Cole's Law is?

It's a cabbage salad, often served as a side dish at a BBQ.

Doctor: Before you go to sleep, don't eat anything fatty.

Obese patient: Can I eat salad instead ?
Doctor: No, fatty.

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

I ate a salad for dinner!

It was mostly tomatoes and croutons.
Really just one, big round crouton covered in tomato sauce.
And cheese.
... I had a pizza.

Today I had Libertarian salad.

Lettuce alone!

What did the cop say to the salad?

Everyone romaine calm!

A man is on his death sentence and gets to choose his last meal.

So he asks the guard for a romaine lettuce salad, but the guard replies "You can only choose a meal, not how you want to die."

A Woman goes into a laundromat

The woman says: I spilled salad on it. The Worker, not hearing them, said: Come again?
The woman says: No, not this time, it was salad.

Salad joke, A Woman goes into a laundromat

jokes about salad

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these salad jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.