Sails Jokes
38 sails jokes and hilarious sails puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sails that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sails Short Jokes
Short sails jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sails humour may include short sailing jokes also.
- I bought a sail for my boat on amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late. That sail has shipped.
- The Somalian Olympics team has just apologised The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologised to the Olympic Committee after realising that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events!!
- carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow. It's called a Ted Cruise
- While sailing, I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska. I couldn't get my bearings straight.
- Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
The French have taken the Silver medal.
The Somalians have taken the boats. - My husband told me I could choose the name he'd paint on the back of his new boat with the condition it be nautical themed. So I named it... For sail.
- After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order. That sail has shipped.
- What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
- My wife didn't finish her morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.
- I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared. I thought, "Thats the biggest wave I've ever seen."
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Sails One Liners
Which sails one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sails? I can suggest the ones about sailed and sailing captain.
- Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
- I started a boat business in the attic. The sails are going through the roof
- Why is a pirate a marketing-employee? Because he works'n'sails
- How did the pirate afford such a big boat? It was on sail.
- Why don't the Jedi have a navy? Because sailing is a path to the dockside.
- I'm running a boat making company from my attic. The sails are through the roof.
- My Devil worshipping brother just got a new row boat... He christened it Sail Hatin'
- I've started a boating business from my attic. The sails are going through the roof.
- I used to have such a bad fear of boats Luckily, that ship has sailed.
- I'm selling boats out of my attic And my Sails are through the roof
- I was gonna post a joke about the Suez Canal But that ship has sailed
- I recently became the owner of a house boat dealership The sails went through the roof
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap? He bought it on sail.
- How do you sell a ship with a broken mast? Promote a half-off sail.
- Where do Mathematicians sail? Indices.
Happy Sails Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about sails you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ship jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sails pranks.
A Religious Joke From a Non-Religious Reditor
A flood occurs in a small town. A man climbs on top of his house to avoid the rising waters. A boat sails up to the house and offers the stranded man a ride. The man refuses saying, "No thanks, God will save me," and the boat leaves.
Then, a large ship comes along and offers the man help. Once more, the man says, "No thank you, I am waiting for God to help me," and the ship leaves.
Finally a helicopter flies overhead and offers to give the man a lift, and, one last time, the man passes, replying, "The good Lord will surely rescue me," and the chopper flies away.
Eventually the man drowns when the flood waters rise above his roof.
Once in heaven the man asks God, "What was up with that? Why'd you leave me hanging like that? Why didn't you save me? I was good, I went to church, I confessed all my sins, and followed the bible, why wasn't I rescued?"
God replies,"What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter!"
What did the pirate CEO say to his crew?
Argh you have to work harder! Our **sails** are down!
My neighbour
My neighbour started a new business making boats in his attic.
The sails are through the roof.
a friend of mine set up a boat building company in his attic.
the sails were through the roof.
Did you hear about the old man selling boats in the attic?
The sails were going through the roof.
I Started A New Business Making Yachts In My Attic This Year
The sails are going through the roof
To earn extra money, I started a home-based business building small boats in my attic ...
Business was really slow until I switched to larger vessels, and now sails are through the roof!
I started a yacht business in the attic.
Sails are through the roof
What is a pirate's favorite part about business?
The sails!
People may think if its necessary for ships to have sails...
I would say its a mast.
I went to a Nautica outlet store
They had sails on everything
I started a Boat building company in the loft...
...Sails have gone through the roof.
Why wouldn't the narcissist buy a yacht?
He couldn't see himself in sails.
If you live near the coast, the harbor is often the best place to go shopping.
They often have really good sails on boats.
My 'Turn Your House into a Boat' kit has become really popular lately. Sails are going through the roof.
What's the difference between a sailor and a shooper
One sees the sales and the other sails the sea
Wanna know something interesting about Roland Emmerich?
He owns one of those antique steamboats, the kind with the giant wheel on the back, and he actually sails with it. In rivers of course, the open ocean is far too choppy, and would damage the antique boat. Anyway, he's got an entire house set up on the boat, complete with living quarters, entertainment rooms, and even a workout room. Sometimes Roland likes to bring guests on the boat, once there was this fat chick named Mary, she spent her whole time in the exercise room burning fat, she was pretty proud of herself for it too.
Roland still takes the boat up and down various rivers to this day,
with the big wheel keep on turning,
Proud Mary keep on burning,
Roland,
Roland,
Roland on the River!
