Sailed Jokes
28 sailed jokes and hilarious sailed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sailed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sailed Short Jokes
Short sailed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sailed humour may include short sailing jokes also.
- I bought a sail for my boat on amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late. That sail has shipped.
- The Somalian Olympics team has just apologised The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologised to the Olympic Committee after realising that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events!!
- carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow. It's called a Ted Cruise
- While sailing, I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska. I couldn't get my bearings straight.
- Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
The French have taken the Silver medal.
The Somalians have taken the boats. - My husband told me I could choose the name he'd paint on the back of his new boat with the condition it be nautical themed. So I named it... For sail.
- After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order. That sail has shipped.
- What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
- My wife didn't finish her morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.
- I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared. I thought, "Thats the biggest wave I've ever seen."
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Sailed One Liners
Which sailed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sailed? I can suggest the ones about sails and sailing captain.
- Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
- I started a boat business in the attic. The sails are going through the roof
- Why is a pirate a marketing-employee? Because he works'n'sails
- How did the pirate afford such a big boat? It was on sail.
- Why don't the Jedi have a navy? Because sailing is a path to the dockside.
- I'm running a boat making company from my attic. The sails are through the roof.
- My Devil worshipping brother just got a new row boat... He christened it Sail Hatin'
- I've started a boating business from my attic. The sails are going through the roof.
- I used to have such a bad fear of boats Luckily, that ship has sailed.
- I'm selling boats out of my attic And my Sails are through the roof
- I was gonna post a joke about the Suez Canal But that ship has sailed
- I recently became the owner of a house boat dealership The sails went through the roof
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap? He bought it on sail.
- How do you sell a ship with a broken mast? Promote a half-off sail.
- Where do Mathematicians sail? Indices.
Unearthly Funniest Sailed Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about sailed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cruise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sailed pranks.
Captain Stutteter
There was once a pirate known as Captain Stutteter. One day he said to his crewmates.
"W-when I I I s-s-Say S-Sh-Shore! Eve-everybody jump offboard!"
Hours passed as they sailed the sea while Captain Stutteter scrutinized around with his spyglass. Then he shouted:
"SH-SH!"
All the crew jumped offboard.
"SH-SHARK! SHAAAARK!!"
As the first fleet rounded the headlands and sailed into botany bay the local Aborigines could see several men looking towards them through big fancy telescopes. One of the Aborigines comments "s**... white man,
can't even play the didgeridoo".
Why are Fire Trucks red?
Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and eight plus four is twelve, and there are 12 inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and firetrucks are always russian around.
Did you hear about the beakers that sailed the seven seas?
They were the Pyrex of the Caribbean
Two Egyptians sailed far out, into the sea
"We've sailed too far from the port! I can't see anything familiar" Says one
"We can't have sailed too far" Says the other
They were in de-Nile
Why Are Firetrucks Red?
Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 men.
4 + 8 = 12
There are 12 inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas.
Fish live in the seas.
Fish have fins.
People from Finland are called Fins.
Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago.
Russia has red on its flag.
And that's why they're red.
Cause they're always *russian* around.
Titanic jokes aren't funny anymore. They're so old and outdated.
That ship has sailed a long time ago.
I wanted to make a Suez Canal joke but I couldn't get the timing right.
That ship had sailed long ago.
Why are firetrucks red?
Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight makes twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and there were fish in the seas, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always Russian" around.
A rich, dumb Husband and wife are taking their first trip on their new Yacht.
They have sailed far from the shore, and the two are sitting in chairs, looking out towards the water.
"Gee, I just love this new Yakt!" The man says.
"Erm... Honey, the "c" is silent." His wife responds.
The man takes a sip from a tall glass, before responding "you're right, it's very tranquil."
