Safety Jokes

• Short Safety Jokes
• Safety One Liners
• Safety Man Jokes
• Safety First Jokes
• Fire Safety Jokes
• Health And Safety Jokes
• More Safety Jokes

Funniest Safety Short Jokes

Short safety jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The safety humour may include short safely jokes also.

1. In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.
2. i told my kids that at their age i had to watch VHS tapes on school safety and they said: "what's school safety?"
3. I failed my Health and Safety Test today apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer
4. Drug safety Remember kids, say no to drugs because if the drugs are talking to you, you've had the right amount.
5. Would you rather feel the pain of your toes bring crushed in an instant, or spread out over a few years? In other words, here are your brand new safety shoes.
6. When people ask why I have a "Trump 2016" sticker on my car I say it's for safety. When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white.
7. The problem with America is stupidity. So why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
8. Why wasn't the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree? Because of 'elf and safety restrictions.
9. The safety distance of 2 meters has been hard for the people in Finland. Luckily, when it's over, we can return to the usual 10 meter distancing.
10. My Dad told me that if anyone ever pulled a gun on me I should start reeling off statistics Apparently there's safety in numbers

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Safety One Liners

Which safety one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with safety? I can suggest the ones about protection and family safe.

1. They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million Jews
2. why don't mathematicians get mugged? Because there's safety in numbers.
3. What does a ISIS amusement park have as a safety mechanism? Allahu lap-bar.
4. Today I was learning about electrical safety. I was shocked.
5. I got 8 out of 10 in my driving test. 2 guys jumped out to safety.
6. Safety is a terrible lover Safety always comes first
7. Can you believe that only 40% of American homes have a safety switch? I was shocked!
8. Why did the titanic sink? It's safety only scratched the tip of the iceberg
9. Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl? Both teams suffered from blackouts
10. Why did the guitar shop fail a fire safety inspection? No Stairway.
11. I tried to make a joke about safety scissors... But it was pointless.
12. Be safety conscious 80% of people are caused by accidents.
13. I just quit my job at the quarry they took worker safety for granite.
14. I have a great safety tip for Halloween this year Wear a mask!!!
15. What's the best car safety device? A rearview mirror with a police car in it.

Safety Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny safety man jokes and even better safety man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does a woman want? Equality
  Safety
  Education
  Independence
  Nutrition
  Love
  What does a man want?
  Woman
  Happy Woman's Day!!
• I read a book about taking safety precautions yesterday It was by a man called Justin Case
• A wise man once said, "There is safety in numbers". Yeah?! Well, tell that one to six million Jews!

Safety First Jokes

Here is a list of funny safety first jokes and even better safety first puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I don't know why there is a baby brand called Safety 1st.. I mean, if they used safety first they wouldn't have to buy their products in the first place
• Safety vs Emergency If safety and emergency had a fight, who would win?
  Safety would.
  Cos safety first
• You wanna know the first rule of safety. There are no rules.
• My girlfriend always calls me Mr. Safety Unfortunately it's not because I practice safe s**..., it's because I always come first...

Fire Safety Jokes

Here is a list of funny fire safety jokes and even better fire safety puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar... The number of occupants exceeds the maximum allowable number for fire safety, and thus the bartender throws them out.
• Safety Meeting @ Work: They asked me what steps I would take in the event of a fire... Apparently REALLY BIG ones was not the right answer. 🙄
• I failed a Health and Safety course at work today... One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
  
  "f**...' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.
• White taking a gun safety class, I was looking into the barrel of a p**... when the gun accidentally fired. It really opened my eyes.

Health And Safety Jokes

Here is a list of funny health and safety jokes and even better health and safety puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Donald trump said he cares more about the health and safety of the American public than he does about money. Well *I* laughed when he said it.
• Im currently doing my dissertation on the safety of a new handheld device for the world health organisation New phone WHO diss
• I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site... Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.
• What R&B singer works for the Occupational Safety and Health Organization? Billy OSHA
• There's a health & safety officer at my work with only one eye... ... oh the irony.
• Health and Safety, that's a minefield but don't tell them.
• Why do women wear p**...? Because it's the law. The health and safety act of 1974 clearly states:
  (4)(b)1: All manholes must be covered when not in use

Quirky and Hilarious Safety Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about safety you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean safe practical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make safety pranks.