Safest Jokes

53 safest jokes and hilarious safest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about safest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Safest Short Jokes

Short safest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The safest humour may include short safer jokes also.

  1. Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.
  2. What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown
  3. Why is the deep south US the safest place to relocate during the zombie apocalypse? Toothless zombies can't bite.
  4. My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world... Me: There are asian gangs too
    My mom: And they're called study groups!
  5. I saw an ad for a prison. Apparently they have the safest gym in the country. There's an Olympic sports doctor there 24/7.
  6. Def leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
    Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.
  7. If there is a Serial killer inside your house, What is the safest place to hide? In the living room.
  8. Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains
  9. Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach Because all of the sharks are busy being on TV.
  10. Where is the safest place to be on a capsizing ship? (Worst joke ever) The Galley!
    Everything but the kitchen sinks.
    ^(I warned you)

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Safest One Liners

Which safest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with safest? I can suggest the ones about healthiest and cleanest.

  1. Why's a graveyard the safest place in quarantine? Everybody's 6 feet away
  2. What's the safest place to hide a dead body? Page 2 of Google search.
  3. Where's the safest place to hide after shooting someone? Behind your badge.
  4. Captain, we need to get the safest part of the storm Eye
  5. What is the safest place to get shot? A hospital.
  6. What is the safest place for a gay to hide in Chechnya? The closet.
  7. Where's the safest place to hide your money? Under the soap of a Frenchman.
  8. What's the safest sport? Pole vault.
  9. Muslims are boycotting Delta... Now making Delta the safest airline
  10. Have you heard about the world's safest driver? He's wreckless!
  11. The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
  12. What's the safest font? Helmetica.
  13. Volvo is the safest car in the world If you're inside the car
  14. Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet? The women's room.
  15. What is the safest place in the galaxy? In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper.

Safest joke, What is the safest place in the galaxy?

Quirky and Hilarious Safest Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about safest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smartest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make safest pranks.

So the biggest recorded storm in history just made landfall in Mexico...

as it turns out, it's the safest weekend in history to visit!

Where's the safest place for shelter during a tornado in Detroit?

The Pontiac Silverdome, there hasn't been a touchdown there in years.

Why is the galley the safest place to be on a capsizing ship?

Because everything but the kitchen sinks. =D
^(I feel dirty)

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior?

They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire
- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*

United Airlines has just become the safest international airline

Not even terrorists would fly with them anymore

The safest place for my money is with my girlfriend

Every time I come home I can't find it, she must hide it well

Wheres the safest to be after a m**...?

A casket.

They say the bathtub is one of the safest places to be during a tornado.

That's why I put mine on the front porch.

They keep telling me to put on my seat belt to keep me safe during an accident

But don't they know the safest place during an accident is outside the car.

Where's the safest place to hide if a war breaks out?

Inside a public trashcan. They are impossible to hit...

TIL that the safest place during a massive zombie apocalypse is China.

Because they have a One-Zombie policy.

I wanted to write a letter to the Governor . . .

opposing a bill being considered in the Virginia legislature. But with Gov Northram's facing a chorus of demands for his resignation because of his blackface photo, and the next two officials in line to succeed him embroiled in their own controversies, I wasn't sure to whom I should send my letter.
I finally decided the safest choice was to mail it to the Governor's Mansion, "Current occupant."

People from High School class of '69 turn 69 this year,but because of social distancing,

69 is the safest position for distancing and everyone has some place to safely cough into.

Safest joke, Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport?