Safes Jokes
30 safes jokes and hilarious safes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about safes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Safes Short Jokes
Short safes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The safes humour may include short safely jokes also.
- Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
- What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
- Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim. - My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe. Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"
I said, "Because we're still in Manchester." - What's the perfect 'safe word'? Meatloaf
(I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.) - What do you call a black man that is hammered AF that is stumbling to his car from the bar? An Uber so he can get home safely
- It really probably isn't safe for me to be driving my car right now, But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
- My friend was telling me about a salmon that could break into safes... Turned out to be a lox myth.
- Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.
- Under Kennedy, America went to the moon... Under Trump, America can't even get to Canada.
Much love from Toronto, stay safe!
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Safes One Liners
Which safes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with safes? I can suggest the ones about family safe and drive safe.
- Mama, is this safe to eat? No honey... it's for storing our valuables.
- 5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
- What do you call a drunk women? An uber so she can get home safe
- I asked the engineer, "What's 2+2?" He replied, "4 ... No, 5 just to be safe."
- 5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe.
- Drive safe I saw a driver texting and driving.
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him. - Why are bass guitarists always safe? Because they stay out of treble.
- What do masks and condoms have in common? It's safe to come inside if you're wearing one
- My username is not safe for work. u/safeforwork was already taken.
- Five out of six people agree Russian roulette is completely safe.
- Russian Roulette 5/6 doctors say that its safe to play.
- I have a locksmith joke…. ….but I don't think it's safe
- 5 out of 6 doctors agree... That Russian Roulette is completely safe.
- Don't join dangerous cults Practice safe sects
- Me: I'll call you when I get home so you know I'm safe Bus driver: I really don't care
Hilarious Fun Safes Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about safes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean safe practical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make safes pranks.
What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?
The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown
What's the safest place to hide a dead body?
Page 2 of Google search.
Where's the safest place to hide after shooting someone?
Behind your badge.
Where is the safest place to be on a capsizing ship? (Worst joke ever)
The Galley!
Everything but the kitchen sinks.
^(I warned you)
What is the safest place to get shot?
A hospital.
What is the safest place for a gay to hide in Chechnya?
The closet.
Where's the safest place for shelter during a tornado in Detroit?
The Pontiac Silverdome, there hasn't been a touchdown there in years.
Where's the safest place to hide your money?
Under the soap of a Frenchman.
What's the safest sport?
Pole vault.
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be
in a stationary store.
Where's the safest place to hide if a war breaks out?
Inside a public trashcan. They are impossible to hit...
What's the safest font?
Helmetica.
The safest place for my money is with my girlfriend
Every time I come home I can't find it, she must hide it well
Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet?
The women's room.
