Safe Practical Jokes
38 safe practical jokes and hilarious safe practical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about safe practical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Safe Practical Short Jokes
Short safe practical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The safe practical humour may include short safely jokes also.
- I encountered a courteous, safe driver in a practical vehicle that had a marine corps decal on the rear windshield.
- Practice safe eating. Use condiments
Just make sure the Mayo doesn't get everywhere.
Be prepared! - Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones? Because they should use protection to practice safe text
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Safe Practical One Liners
Which safe practical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with safe practical? I can suggest the ones about practical and work safe.
- Don't join dangerous cults Practice safe sects
- How do you avoid stds while in a dangerous cult? By making sure to practice safe sects
- Please practice safe text. Use a comma & you won't miss a period.
- Practice safe lunch... Use a condiment.
- What's the best way to practice safe eating habits? By using condiments.
- Don't be an ogre. Practice safe shreks.
- What's the most important part of learning to play the saxophone? Practicing safe sax.
- How do Welsh farmers practice safe s**...? Spray a red 'X' on the back of ones that kick.
- How do Mongolians practice safe s**...? They use a khandom.
- How do ISIS members practice safe s**...? they mark the camels that kick
- How do they practice safe s**... in Scotland? They brand the sheep that kick.
- How to practice safe s**...: Give her a fake name and address.
- What is the most metal way to practice safe s**...? With a condominium.
- Don't practice safe s**... Just do it badly, like a man.
Witty Safe Practical Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about safe practical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean perfectly safe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make safe practical pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I used to practice safe s**....
Unfortunately they won't let us back in the bank.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend always calls me Mr. Safety
Unfortunately it's not because I practice safe s**..., it's because I always come first...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This morning I woke up feeling the BERN!
This afternoon my doctor told me I need to practice safe s**... and wrote me a prescription.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy is in a CVS with his dad...
A boy is in a CVS with his dad. While in line at the pharmacy, the boy notices something in a box that resembles balloons. Curious, the boy asks his dad about these balloons in the box. "Well, those are condoms, son," the boy's dad replies. "What are condoms used for, dad?" replied the little boy. "They are used so men can practice safe s**...," said the father. The boy asks his dad who would use the box of three. The boy's dad replies, "Those are for high school kids. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." The boy then spots a box of six and asks his dad about those. "Those are for college kids son. They use two on Friday, two on Saturday and two on Sunday." The boy then asks, "Well what about the box of twelve?" To which the boy's dad replied, "Those are for married men like myself, son. One for January, one for February, one for March....."
How national weather service predicts weather.
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
How stock markets work!
It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied,
'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'
This is how stock markets work!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the black man buy 4 boxes of condoms?
Because he practices safe s**... and they were on sale.