The Best 87 Sadly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sadly jokes. There are some sadly month jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sadly regretfully puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sadly Jokes and Puns

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.

Sadly, he lost his case.

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.

The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

I just nutted on my boss's daughter

Sadly, im self-employed.

Sadly joke, I just nutted on my boss's daughter

I was at a football game. Sold out stadium, but the guy next to me had an empty seat next to himself...

...As the game wore on, I asked him "Who's seat is that?" He looked at me sadly and said "That was my wife's seat but she passed away."
"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied. "You don't have any other family that might want to come to the game with you?" He shook his head and said "Nah... they're all at the funeral"

Snail Racing

My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish


My wife isn't speaking to me.

A man walks into a bar,looking all bummed out, and orders a drink. After a few minutes he orders another. About thirty minutes later he orders a few more drinks.
The bartenders asks," Dude you look really depressed. Is everything okay?"
The man explains," My wife and I got into big fight. She says she won't speak to me for 31 days."
The bartender asks," Well isn' t that a good thing."
The man replies," Sadly, tonight's the last night."

A women steps out of the shower and drops her towel...

A women steps out of the shower and drops her towel. She stands in front of the mirror in her bedroom. "I hate my body, i'm too fat", she says sadly to her husband on their bed. "I'm feeling a little down after that, i could use a pick me up. Compliment me?" she says. He says back, "Well for one thing your eyesight is great!"

Sadly joke, A women steps out of the shower and drops her towel...

Un Deux Trois

A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"

I lost 50 pounds once

sadly I was in England at the time.

Empty seat at the world cup

Its the world cup final and a man sits down and realizes that the seat next to him is empty. He turns to the guy the other side of the seat and asks. "is the person sitting here with you?"

The man cheerlessly replies, "it was my wife's seat, but she sadly passed away"

"how awful, do you not have any family or friends you could have given the ticket to?"

"well no, they're all at the funeral"

Sadly..

..some frogs have been known to Kermit suicide

You can explore sadly fortunately reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sadly nico dad jokes. There are also sadly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium

He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"

"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"

"Nah, they're all at the funeral."

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"

I told my friend I hope to deliver a joke half as well as her some day.

Sadly, we men will never know the joys of childbirth.

Anarchy is bad for you.

So there's two guys at a bar and the first one says

##So, how's it been going with your anarchist club recently?

###I got kicked out recently, sadly.

##Kicked out? Why?

###I don't know, I was just following the rules!

Good women are found on every corner of the earth

but sadly the earth is round.

Sadly joke, Good women are found on every corner of the earth

A man hasn't been feeling so well so he goes to the doctor...

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."

I found a stray cat today. Sadly, my dad is allergic to them so I had to put him down.

At least I still have the cat for comfort.

Sadly, I had to quit my job as a taxi driver...

I just couldn't stand everyone talking behind my back.


My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest

I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

A man sees a millionaire he recognizes on the street.

The man goes up to the millionaire and says, "Sir, I have been working hard for so long and I still don't have much money, will you please tell me your secret to becoming a millionaire?"

The millionaire pauses for a moment and responds, "my wife."

The man was taken aback. "What were you before you met her?"

The millionaire sadly responded, "a billionaire."

Because I'm such a Portal 2 fan, I created my own levels.

Sadly, none of the "volunteers" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions.

We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music.

Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark

Canon to release new camera, the Canon 80D.

Sadly it can't focus.

Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver weed to your house in 10 minutes...

Sadly, the name Instagram is taken.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

So a guy gave his friends 10 puns to try and make him laugh.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

A man enters a pun contest...

He writes down 10 puns and puts them into a hat thinking at least one of them would win. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.

'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'

'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.

'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.

'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a piss'.

I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie.

Sadly it was erased.

I got chatting with a girl in a bar....

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.

"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends."

"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that!" she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please.

A few drinks later, we kissed and cuddled and headed back to her place and made passionate love.

While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"

I said, "My wife found out!"

Today is National Pasta Day

I have a friend that would have loved today, but sadly she's pastaway

I gave my friend 10 puns, hoping at least some would make him laugh.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

I got a job at a circle making factory!

Sadly, I was fired today because I was cutting corners

There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"

He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.

Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

The man who invented the remote control has sadly died.

His body was found down the back of the sofa.

A String Walks Into A Bar

Inside the bar, the string asks for a beer. Sadly for the string, though, the bartender states "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." So, the string walks out of the bar, frazzles up his head, twists his stomach and walks back in. The bartender, noticing the string, says "Hey!- aren't you that string from earlier?" The string replies "Nope, I'm afraid not."

My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge.

But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

An unfortunate business idea

I once started a restaurant inside an airplane that was no longer functional. Sadly, it never took off.

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"

Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

I spent months inventing a wingless plane

sadly the idea never took off.

Sadly, my best friend passed away yesterday, so I went to see his wife today...

I said to her, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore."

She replied, "But he wasn't ill, he died suddenly."

I said, "I know, I meant, being married to you."

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

"The doctor really said you can't have kids?" A man asked his wife.

She looked at him sadly. "I kid you not."

An American man visits the Holy Land...

An American man visits the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Sadly the mother-in-law died. When seeing the local Israeli undertaker, it was explained that they could ship the body home for $5,000. But if they buried her locally it would cost only $150. The man said to the undertaker "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asked "Are you sure? It's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The man replied "look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I can't take that chance."

I had a dream about an ocean of orange soda...

Sadly, it was just a Fanta-sea.

A man walks into a bar, with a newt on his shoulder.

He passes the night trying to chat up every girl he sees, but sadly to no avail, since everyone is wierded out by his newt.

Finally, he sees a beautiful girl and strikes up a conversation with her. After a few moments of talking, she questions him about the newt.

"What's his name?" The girl ask him.

"Tiny" the man responds.

"Oh whys he named that?" The girl questions.

"Because he's my newt"

TIL that a school of piranhas are able to strip all the flesh off of a child in under two minutes.

Sadly, I was also fired from the aquarium.

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

The Librarian

What time does the library open? the man on the phone asked.

Annoyed, the librarian composed himself before he answered.

9 am, came the reply. And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?

Not until 9 am? the man asked in a disappointed voice.
The librarian began to get angry.

No, not until 9 am, said the librarian. Why do you want to get in before 9 am?

Who said I wanted to get in? the man sighed sadly. I want to get o

I just got some Sudoku toilet paper

Sadly, I can't complete it because I can only fill it with 1s and 2s.

A man decides to open up a business...

Sadly, he is located right between two other shops in the same line of business he wishes to enter. To his left, a large sign reads "Smith and Co.", to his right theres "Winstons Finest". So, after a bit of pondering, he decides to name his shop "Main Entrance"

My friend Gav died from heartburn yesterday...

Sadly, Gaviscon.

3 old ladies are in a park

Three elderly grey ladies are sitting on a bench feeding birds in the park. Suddenly, a man runs in front of them and whips open his trench coat, to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath!

Astonished at the exposure the first Lady has a stroke. The second Lady has a stroke.

And

Sadly

the third old lady couldn't quite reach.

I hinted to my friend that if he wanted to improve his billiards game, he should get better equipment...

...sadly, he took my cue.

Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight

Sigh.....

I have so many jokes about unemployed people....

...sadly none of them work.

I used to have a lot of unemployment jokes.

Sadly, none of them worked.

I dressed up as a gifted kid for Halloween.

When my neighbors asked what I was supposed to be, I sadly replied, "I was supposed to be a lot of things..."

The girl I like really loves orange soda. Sadly, she's way out of my league.

Is this a Crush, or just a Fanta-sy?

Mario got taken to court

He turned out to be guilty, here is the last words of the trial.

Judge: I order to pay a $10,000 fine

Mario: why

Judge: it's a fine

Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock's paper scissors.

I'm not brave enough to go on a real Safari, so I decided to be an Internet Explorer instead.

Sadly even that was too Edge-y for me!

Saucy!?

I tried to make a 'fancy' sauce last night at dinner, I mixed vodka, gravy and nitrous oxide, sadly, all I managed was make myself an Absolut laughing stock!

I wanna become a musical comedian

Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...

My friend sadly went to jail for something he didn't do.

He didn't wipe the fingerprints off of his gun.

The inventor of the sexual innuendo has sadly passed away

His wife is taking it really hard

I made a website for an orphanage

Sadly it doesn't have a homepage

I can't wait to get my first award

Sadly it's from myself

Somebody robbed the police department yesterday and stole all the toilets

Sadly, the detectives have nothing to go on

Simon was in a car crash with his uncle.....

Sadly his uncle died, but Simon was saved
but lost both his legs. The surgeon was able to sew his uncle's legs to his body. When he was recovered he decided to pursue his love
of music and performed in the local pub as Simon and Halfuncle.

My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink

He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the cinema.

They said my wiener would be like one inch long in cold water.

So I took a cold bath, but sadly my wiener didn't get any bigger. :(

I hosted a huge event for gingers last week

Sadly not a single soul showed up.

Mario goes to court

The judge says: you must pay the court $12,000.

Mario, surpised, asks: Why?

The judge replies: It's a fine.

Mario, heartbroken, sadly says: No itsa not.

For Cake Day, here's my favorite pun: Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off?

He's all right now. Sadly, there's nothing left of him.

I have been looking for my wife's killer for years now

Sadly no-one will take the job

My friend recently had surgery, and tells me he feels like a million bucks

Sadly, he lives in Zimbabwe

Scientists planned to verify if Schroedingers thought experiment prevails on Mars

but sadly Curiosity killed the cat, rendering the experiment futile.

There was a pun competition going on in the local community.

I decided I might have a go at it since I am pretty good with puns. The rules were simple: we all had to tell 10 puns. I got on stage and gave it my best shot to wow the judges. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

what is the difference between a sad ghost and an angry cow?

one boos sadly the other moos madly

Jack got chatting with a girl in a bar last night,

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.
""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," Jack assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love.
While J was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
Jack said, "My wife found out."

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?

Mario: ...

Judge: It's a fine.

Mario: [sadly] no itsa not

Sadly my wife has lost 20% of her sight...

Sigh...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sadly sad jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sadly alas piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes