Sad Love Jokes

50 sad love jokes and hilarious sad love puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sad love that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sad Love Short Jokes

Short sad love jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sad love humour may include short sweet love jokes also.

  1. If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember... that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
  2. To those who are sad because nobody loves them at Valentine's Day, worry not... ...nobody loves you on any of the other days of the year either.
  3. Today is National Pasta Day I have a friend that would have loved today, but sadly she's pastaway
  4. I lost a loved one recently and while I was sad at first, I'm okay with it now... The wiki says they get brought back next season.
  5. The girl I like really loves orange soda. Sadly, she's way out of my league. Is this a Crush, or just a Fanta-sy?
  6. I read an article that said to cheer up as adults, we should embrace things we loved as kids. So, when I am sad I hide in the shower and try to watch the babysitter pee.
  7. Absolutely loved Malcolm in the Middle. Such a great show. Not like it's super sad sequel, Malcom's Now The Oldest
  8. Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life. Which is great for engineers, but really sad for musicians.
  9. My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
  10. A poor student writes to his dad for help. Being the eloquent teen he is, all he can muster is;
    "No mon, no fun, your son."
    To which the father replies;
    "Too bad, so sad, love dad."

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Sad Love One Liners

Which sad love one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sad love? I can suggest the ones about happy sad and sadness.

  1. I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased.
  2. Why do so many sad people go to Jefferson City? Because Missouri loves company.
  3. Kids I play with love peek-a-boo! Except they get happy when I hide and sad when I appear
  4. Why wasn't the chef sad when he had a break-up? Cause he always loves when bay-leaves.
  5. How can you be so sad when you are so beautiful?
  6. Two melons find themselves madly in love. Sadly, they cantaloupe.
  7. Why are Deontologists sad? They Kant find love

Hilarious Fun Sad Love Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about sad love you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean broken heart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sad love pranks.

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.

He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.
His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.
He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

This guy takes his sick parrot to the vet...

The vet takes one look and says, "I'm afraid your parrot is dead."
"That's terrible," says the guy, "How can you so sure? I'd like a second opinion."
The Vet then opens the door and whistles. A Labrador bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, takes time sniffing at the parrot, looks up and whines sadly.
I'm afraid it's confirmed says the vet. The guy looks at the vet and says But my 5 year old daughter loves this parrot! Please! Are you 100% sure?
The Vet replies We can do one final test . He whistles again and a cat comes into the room and springs up onto the table. T he cat walks up and down the table looking intently at the parrot, then meows sadly and leaves.
"Well I'm terribly sorry Mr Jones but there can be no doubt about it. Polly is dead."
"Well, it's terrible news. Thank you for your time. How much do I owe you?"
"That comes to eight hundred pounds please."
"What?" cried the man in shock, "Why so much?"
"Well" Said the Vet, "Quick, accurate diagnoses don't come cheap. Ordinarily it would nearer to two hundred. What pushed the price up was the Lab report and Cat scan!"

A child was born without a body...

The doctor said there was nothing they could do, but the parents cared for their child anyways.
Several years later, the parents were approached by the same doctor, saying, "I've got some good news. We now have the capability to give your child a body, would you like that?" Of course the parents were overjoyed and immediately agreed.
Another few years went by, and the parents enjoyed being able to hold their child at least, but they wanted their child to have the best life possible, so of course they accepted when the doctor offered to give their child arms.
They loved being able to play with their baby, but were sad that they couldn't teach him to walk. They prayed for the day that the doctor would come just one last time, and it finally came. The doctor asked if they would like to try a new procedure to give their child legs, and they joyfully accepted.
They enjoyed all their time running and playing with their newly whole child, until one day the child was playing in the yard and ran right in front of a cement truck and died.
I guess you could say that the moral of this story is, "stop while you're a head".


Two old friends in their 80's John and Frank grew up together and always loved baseball since they were young. They went to the park everyday to feed the bids and talk about baseball.
One day, John turns to Frank and says, "Frank, do you think there is baseball in heaven?"
John think for a second then says, "Well how about this. Whichever one of us dies first will find out if there is
baseball in heaven, then come back as a ghost to tell the other one."
Frank agrees to this and they continue to feed the birds and talk.
Sadly, a few weeks later, Frank dies of a heart attack.
John kept going to the park to feed the birds, only now, he did it alone. After a few days, he hears a voice, "Joooooohn. Jooooooohn."
John is surprised at first, but then says, "Frank? Is that you?"
Frank responds, "Yeeesss. I've come back with good news and bad news."
John asks, "Oh my god Frank! I've missed you so much! What's the good news?"
Frank responds, "The good news is that there is baseball in heaven."
John says, "Oh my god, that's amazing! What could possibly be the bad news?"
Frank says, "You're pitching on Friday."

The Fish Princess and the Commoner Crab

Once upon a time, in the undersea kingdom, there lived a fish princess. This fish princess had fallen in love with a peasant crab.
When her father, the fish king, found out about their affair he forbade her to ever see him again. When she asked him why he replied "No daughter of mine will consort with a lowly sideways-walking crab!"
Devastated, but with no other choice, the fish princess goes to her crab and delivers the news. "My father says we can't be together," she tells him, "he says you're a lowly side-walker, and that I'm forbidden to see you." The crab, crushed by the news, turns and sadly walks away - sidewise, of course.
That night there was a gala ball at the fish palace. All the nobility of the undersea kingdom was there in attendance including, of course, the fish king and princess. Then, at the very height of festivities, the doors to the ballroom suddenly burst open... and there was the crab.
The entire room burst into excited whispers, all the attendees having heard the rumor of the princess' affair with a side-walking commoner. To their surprise, however, before their very eyes, the crab took one step forward... then another step forward... and another... walking forward down the red carpet toward the king on his throne.
As the crab approached the king the room went silent in anticipation. The crab looked the king square in the eye... opened his mouth... and slurred "I am soooooo super drunk right now."

KC & The Sunshine Band are sad Blockbuster have closed down.

They had plans to do a little dance, make a little love and get Downton out.

Lorraine and Clearly

A guy had an abusive girlfriend named Lorraine. Lorraine didn't know her boyfriend was cheating on her with a lovely girl named Clearly. In August Lorraine died. At the f**..., People wondered why the guy wasn't sad,and why he was so happy.
When they asked him why he was so happy at the f**... he sang....
" I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone !"

So I'm a male nurse, and I work in hospice. It's a great company, and sad sometimes, but it has taught me some great life lessons.

1) Pull your skeletons out of your closet now, or they'll come out while you're dying.
2) Love the one you're with.
3) I don't need to worry about finding true love. All the demented women seem to love me like it's the first day we met.

Creationism v Feminism

In the beginning god made everything and said it was good.
Then he asked Adam, "Is there anything else you could possibly want?"
Adam replied, "I want a companion. Someone that will always be there for me. Someone that will love me, console me when I'm sad, celebrate with me when I'm happy, and stimulate me when I'm bored. I want a true soul mate."
God says "Ok... But that will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam sighs and says "Alright then... What can I get for a rib?"

My lawyer friend loves board games...

...but he has been sad lately, ever since he started that Risk-free 30-day trial.

What every man needs

Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, s**... wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.

I got chatting with a girl in a bar....

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends."
"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that!" she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please.
A few drinks later, we kissed and cuddled and headed back to her place and made passionate love.
While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
I said, "My wife found out!"

A young woman accidentally summons a genie.

"What is your wish?" asked the genie.
"World peace!" blurted the idealistic but naive young woman.
"People give me that all the time. I am not that powerful. Sorry. Wish something less powerful." replied the genie.
"This dog is very loyal and loves me. Turn him into a man so he will also be loyal and loves me." the woman asks the genie.
The genie snaps his fingers. The dog turns into a handsome young man and the genie disappears.
The young man sadly looks at the woman and says "I really wish you didn't have me neutered."
with inputs from /u/KJBenson

This made me smile for days

Absolutely devastated.
A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

A woman tells her husband she was diagnosed with cancer.

Her husband tells he's very sad and sorry for her. Once they get to bed, the wife asks:
'Honey, when I'll be... dead, will you marry someone else?' The husband thinks for a while. 'No.'
'Why not? Don't you like being married?' 'If you want me to, then yes.' 'Will she sleep in my part of the bed?' she asks mournfully. 'I guess she will.' answers the husband. 'Will you replace all my photos?' 'Of course not, I'll keep the ones I love most.' 'Will she drive my car?' 'No, she doesn't have a driver's licence.'

True Love

Guy: "who'd ever miss the FIFA world cup final?"
Man: "That was my wife's seat, we have been to the last five World cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
Guy: "Oh.... That's terrible and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat..
But, these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought another family member or friend with you?"
Man: " No .....
They all are at her f**...! "

I love multilingual jokes.

Could I ever get e-neuf?
Sadly, I think I novem all at this point.

Never really been a mourning person...

I just don't get sad when my loved ones die for some reason.

Breakups are the best excuse.

Your friends want to go out to that restaurant you hate?
Just look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to love going there...
Boom, nobody wants to go anymore. Pity works wonders.
Your boss asks you at stay late Friday night?
Look sad and say: My girlfriend and I used to do SQL database backups...
Boom, no work!

After many years of sadness and suffering, I tearfully buried my loving wife today.

She insisted that she wasn't actually dead, but that b**... told lies.

Simon was in a car c**... with his uncle.....

Sadly his uncle died, but Simon was saved
but lost both his legs. The surgeon was able to sew his uncle's legs to his body. When he was recovered he decided to pursue his love
of music and performed in the local pub as Simon and Halfuncle.

A Girlfriend's Love

Me: Remind me again what made you fall in love with me.
GF: Baby, I love that no matter how sad I am you can always make me laugh
Me: Are you certain it isn't how great I am in bed?
GF: See baby, you are so hilarious

Some sad news today.

After seven years of medical training, my friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer do the job he loves. What a waste of training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

Jack got chatting with a girl in a bar last night,

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.
""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," Jack assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love.
While J was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
Jack said, "My wife found out."


In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<

After fighting off waves of attacks by the Spartans, Paris went to visit with Helen

But alas, she was not very happy.
What is wrong, my love?
It's nothing.
Come on, my love, I sacrificed so much for you, so you must divulge why you're not happy. He pleaded.
It's nothing.
I'm pleading with you! I will defeat the whole spartan army and Achiles himself to see that smile again! Please, for the love of Zeus, why are you sad?
Well, it's just…
Yes? What is it?
If you must know…
Yes? Yes? He asked, encouraging her.
I only count 999 ships.

jokes about sad love