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Sacrifice Jokes

37 sacrifice jokes and hilarious sacrifice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sacrifice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sacrifice Short Jokes

Short sacrifice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sacrifice humour may include short surrender jokes also.

  1. Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins… Except he came back…
    So, what did he really sacrifice?
    His weekend?
    Jesus sacrificed his weekend for your sins…
  2. In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden
  3. My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen.
  4. I went to see a stage performer that does live sacrifices of celebrities during his act I gave him 5 stars.
  5. Ladies. If your man is giving you both the moon and stars You should be willing to sacrifice uranus
  6. Ladies, if he's willing to give you the Moon and the Stars.... You should be able to sacrifice Uranus.
  7. My wife is a deeply religious cook... Everything she makes is either a burnt offering or a sacrifice.
  8. On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat. In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.
  9. Pretty ironic they used to sacrifice virgins to call down rain Considering they're known for having the longest dry spells.
  10. Parenting is stressful! Parenting is a sacrifice, it's exhausting, it's expensive and at times it feels thankless but…. Eventually you die! -Jim Gaffigan

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Sacrifice One Liners

Which sacrifice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sacrifice? I can suggest the ones about compromise and suffering.

  1. "I've made a lot of sacrifices to get to where I am today," said the Aztec high priest.
  2. My fiance left me at the altar... Turns out she wasn't as into human sacrifice as I was.
  3. My body is a temple. It requires frequent animal sacrifice.
  4. I've made many sacrifices to get where I am today. Most of them were children.
  5. I just saw the sacrifice scene in Apocalypto It was so heartless!
  6. I beg you, please stop making sacrifices to the Time Bean At least for the time being.
  7. I used to sacrifice kids until the goat population decreased.
  8. What was Jesus's real sacrifice? Being Jewish
  9. Why sacrifice virgins? Because they've done nothing to deserve it.
  10. Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad? Because she died a v**...!

Sacrifice joke, Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad?

Cheeky Sacrifice Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about sacrifice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worship jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sacrifice pranks.

Jeff Bezos is informed about the passing away of a warehouse worker on a Sunday after working continuously for 12 hours leaving behind a wife and 2 young kids

Let's make sure his hard work and sacrifice are not wasted....
Jeff Bezos orders his subordinates
Find someone who can finish the remaining 2 hours of his shift

President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home

After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"

When Jesus died, that was God's sacrifice for the world..

But when I kill my son it's just m**...?

11 People on a rope

11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff

Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.
"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch can't hold all our weight. You're all so beautiful and talented, so I'm going to let go in hopes that it's enough to save your lives. Tell my family I love them."
The blondes were so moved by her selfless sacrifice that they gave her a round of applause.

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

There are 11 blondes...

hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.

Friends son turned 13 today. Any teenager jokes I could give him?

I'll start. Why do we know Abrahams son wasn't a teen when Abraham tried to sacrifice him? Because if he was a teenager, it wouldn't have been a sacrifice.

A conquistador was talking to a native about the superiority of his civilization.

"Unlike you savages we do not partake in cannibalism or human sacrifice. Now eat your body and blood of Christ or we'll burn you at the stake!"

A plane has a horrible accident...

...and is split in half horizontally. Everyone is holding onto the oxygen masks above with their legs dangling in the air.
The captain shouts to the passengers, "We can make it, but the weight's off - at least one person needs to let go or else none of us will make it!"
Willing to die for a good cause, a young man shouts "I will sacrifice my life for all of you!"
Everyone claps.

God sacrificed his son for his love of humans

And we all seem to be cool with it. But when **I** try to sacrifice my son for my love of humans, I get arrested and imprisoned.
I'm starting to see some discrimination going on here...

"I accept your sacrifice."

Good news, if your name is Cain.
Bad news, if your name is Abraham.
Tremendous news, if your name is Mikhail Tal.

10 blondes and a brunette were hanging on a rope on the side of a cliff

However the rope cannot carry all 11, so one person has to be sacrificed. The brunette volunteers to sacrifice herself and proceeds to make a long touching speech. After she finishes, all the blondes clap and let go of the rope.

Sacrifice joke, 10 blondes and a brunette were hanging on a rope on the side of a cliff