Sacks Jokes
51 sacks jokes and hilarious sacks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sacks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sacks Short Jokes
Short sacks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sacks humour may include short sacked jokes also.
- I like my women like I like my coffee. Thrown into a burlap sack and transported illegally across Central America.
- What's the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ? Emptied his sack.
- My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river… I did it but it broke my heart.
I quite liked her dad… - I used to have a job; I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
- I like my women like I like my coffee. Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.
- I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
That's it!! No more mist and ice guy. - I have no problem getting women into the sack... ... it's getting the sack into the back of my van that's the problem.
- I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
- What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.
- My drunk uncle is Santa Claus He breaks into my house, drinks all the milk and snacks.. Then, he unloads his sack all over the living room.
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Sacks One Liners
Which sacks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sacks? I can suggest the ones about packs and potato sack.
- I like my women like I like my cigars 7 years old and coming from Cuba in a burlap sack
- Why is Santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year
- I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker.
- Why do you always see Santa with a full sack? Because he only comes once a year!
- why does santa have such a huge sack Because he only comes once a year
- Did you hear about the blind circumsiser? He got the sack.
- What happened to the blind circumsizer? He got the sack.
- What happened to the blind circumcisor? He got the sack.
- Did you hear about the incompetent circumciser? He slipped and got the sack.
- What do you call people who worship paper bags? Sack religious
- Why do dominatrixes get so much beauty rest They just love to hit the sack
- Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
- Did you hear about the surgeon who botched a vasectomy? he got the sack
- Did you hear about the shortsighted circumciser? He got the sack.
- Do you know what happened to the drunk circumciser? He got the sack.
Feed Sacks Jokes
Here is a list of funny feed sacks jokes and even better feed sacks puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Got sacked from my job as a zoo keeper. But as I said in my disciplinary
"all the signs say DON'T feed the animals"
Heartwarming Sacks Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about sacks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean getting the sack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sacks pranks.
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.
The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"
3 bags.
A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman are all being chased by soldiers, they all run into a Barn and hide in big burlap sacks. The soldier walk in and hunt for them, they poke the first bag and the Scotsman says "Meow!" so they pass it off as a bag of kittens. They poke the second pack and the Englishman says "Woof!" so they pass it off as a bag of puppies. They poke the third bag and the Irishman says "Potatoes!"
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman..
..are in the trenches surrounded by the enemy with no way of escaping The Englishman sees three sacks and says right boys follow my lead.
They each get in a sack and as the enemy approaches they poke the bag with their bayonetted.
"Meow meow" says the Englishman.
"Ah it's just some kittens, leave them be were not that cruel. "
They poke the Scotsman.
"Woof woof"
"Ah just puppies leave them be"
Then they poke the Irishman
"Potatoes!"
An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police.
An english man, an irish man and a scottish man are running away from the police. They find 3 sacks and hide in them. The police man approaches the sacks and kicks the first one. The English man barks like a dog. The police man kicks the next one and the Scottish man screams like a cat. The policeman kicks the next one and the Irish man says "sack of potatoes".
p**... was at the airport and was stopped by customs.
Customs: What have you got in those two sacks on your shoulders.?
p**...: Oh just a lot of mobile phones.
Customs: So why so many mobile phones.?
p**...: Well on my travels I had a call from my mate m**...,
He told me that he was starting up a Jazz Band, and could
I bring him back two Saxophones.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are being chased by a farmer...
and they hide in his barn inside three sacks.
The farmer pokes the sack with the brunette with his pitchfork, and she says "meow"
He moves on to the next sack with the redhead, and she says "woof".
He moves on to the last sack with the blonde, and she says "potatoes".
After robbing a bank, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead
duck into an alley where they hide in potato sacks. The cops first go to the sack with the brunette in it and kick it. The brunette says, "Meow." They go to the sack with the redhead and kick it. She says, "Woof, woof." Last, they kick the sack with the blonde, and she says, "Po-ta-to."
What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?
They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.
Did you hear about the deformed linebacker?
He had 4 sacks.
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet sore...
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were robbing a pet store.
Suddenly the cops show up and they all quickly hide in sacks.
The cops kick the first sack with the Englishman in and he goes "meow".
They move on and kick the second sack and the Scotsman goes "woof".
They then kick the third sack with the Irishman in and he says "potatoes".
Three burglars are running from the police
They go into a dark alley and hide in three sacks. The police look around and one of them kicks the first sack and the burglar goes "meow", "just cats" he thinks. He then kicks the second one and the the second burglar goes " meow" so the police pass it off as more cats. He then kicks the last sack and the burglar says "potatoes".
I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely n**...…
… I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!
So I was at the grocery store the other day…
and the bagger asked me if I wanted paper or plastic sacks.
I said either is fine. I'm bisacksual.
Funny Book Title Thread!
I'll start:
"How To Get The Most Out Of Your Bank Heists" by Fillmore Sacks
Christmas night
One night as santa was doing his usual job of putting gifts under the Christmas tree a kid woke up and asked Santa
"Santa? Why are your sacks so big?"
"Because i come once a year"
What do Kevin Spacey and Santa Claus have in common?
They both like to empty their sacks for young boys.
(I know it's an old MJ joke)
What's the difference between Santa Clause and a p**...?
Nothing, they both like to unload their sacks while pleasuring children.
So there's a brunette a redhead and a blonde who are trying to escape from a prison. The guards are onto to them, so they all hide in sacks....
The guards see the sacks moving and sends over a soldier to poke each one of them with his gun.The guard pokes the first one and the brunette says "woof" and the guard goes "Oh it's just a dog" he pokes the second one and the redhead goes "meow" and the guard says "it's just a cat". He then pokes the third and the blonde goes "potatoes".
You teabag
But Chuck Norris potato sacks
How is Santa like a p**...?
They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks.
Michael Sam
Michael Sam has stepped away from football. He will now pursue his sacks elsewhere.
Why does santa claus have the biggest t**... in the world?
He gets to empty his sacks only once a year.
What does Santa Claus have in common with a teenaged boy?
They both empty their sacks into socks while the family is asleep.
What's the similarities between Micheal Jackson and Santa Clause?
They both leave children's houses with their sacks empty.
Why is Jay Cutler gay?
Because of all the sacks he takes.
a policeman chasing three idiots
He corner them in a farm where they hid in sacks. The policeman sees the sacks and immediately realized they were hiding in them. He gave the first sack a nudge and the idiot goes "quack quack", same with the second sack and the idiot goes "Meow", the last one is silent, the policeman gave the sack another nudge, nothing. He started to doubt himself, so he kicks the sack in a desperate attempt, to which the idiot answered angrily "I'm a f***ing sack of potatoes, what the f*** am I supposed to say ?!"
p**... was coming back from his holiday in America.
As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulders. The Customs officer asked him what he had in the sacks. p**... replied Mobile phones.
The customs officer didn't believe him and asked to be shown. p**... opened each sack and sure enough each contained quite a few phones. "What are you going to do with all these phones?" asked the officer.
"Oh, they are not for me. My friend, who is a musical director, knew I was going over to America. He asked me to bring him back a 'couple of saxophones.'"
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were being chased by the police...
As they were running they saw some sacks, and so they hid in them. When the police got to the first sack, which the brunette was in. He kicked it and the brunette said "woof!" And the police thought it was a dog so he went to the second sack, which the redhead was in. He kicked that one and the redhead said "meow!" Thinking it was a cat, the police went to the third sack, which the blonde was in. He kicked it and the blonde said "potatoooo" the blonde was arrested, and the brunette and redhead got away.
Three women break out of prison...
..a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They hear the marshal and his men coming so they duck into a near by potato barn. They find three potato sacks and jump in covering themselves from head to toe.
The marshal sends his deputy into the potato barn to check it out. The deputy see's the three sacks looking out of place, so he steps up to the sack with the redhead and kicks it.
"Woof." says the redhead.
"Just a dog in there." says the not to bright deputy. He kicks the sack with the brunette.
"Meow." purrs the brunette.
"Just a cat." says the deputy. He kicks the sack with the blonde in it.
Nothing happens. He gives it another kick.
"Potato" says the blonde.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Irishman are running from the sheriff...
They turn a corner and see three large empty sacks. Quickly, they each hide inside one.
The sheriff and his deputy turn the corner and see the three sacks on the ground. The sheriff dismounts and kicks the first sack.
"Meow," says the Englishman.
"It's just a cat," the sheriff says and kicks the second bag
"Woof," says the Scotsmen.
"It's just a dog," the sheriff says and finally kicks the last bag.
The Irishman says "potatoes."
My favorite Newfie joke
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
There was a Nova Scotian, a Prince Edward Islander and a Newfie who were running from the cops. So they go down this side street and see three potato sacks and decide to hide in them. The police come along and think there's something suspicious so they kick the first bag. The Nova Scotian's in there and he says "Meow!" and the cops think 'Oh, it's just an alley cat,' and keep on going. They kick the next bag and the Prince Edward Islander in there says "Woof!" so they think 'Oh, it's just a stray dog.' So then they kick the bag with the Newfie in it and he says "PO-TA-TO!"
An Englisman, Scotsman and Irishman are being chased by police
The three of them run into an alley ahead of the cops.
"We need to hide" said the Englishman
"Look, there's 3 sacks over there" points the Scotsman
So they rush over and each one hides in a sack just before the police turn into the alleyway
They scan the alley and dont see anyone but they spot the sacks. One officer walks slowly upto them and give the 1st one, with the Englishman in it, a kick
"Meow!" He says
"Hmm, just a cat the officer says to his colleagues
He walks to the 2nd sack hiding the Scottsman. Kick!
"Woof woof!" He says
"Dog in this one the officer says" and walks to the 3rd sack containing the Irshman. Kick!
"POTATOS!" He shouts!
3 men running from gangsters
3 men running from gangsters turn into a dead end where they see 3 potato sacks, with nowhere to go they hide inside the potato sacks
the gangsters turn into the ally thinking they lost them they decide to kick each bag to make sure they are not hiding inside
the gangsters kick the first sack and first man meows like a cat so they
think "oh it's just a stray cat"
they kick the second sack so next man barks like a dog and they think "oh it's just a stray dog"
they kick the third sack and last guy replies "Potato"
