Rustling Jokes

20 rustling jokes and hilarious rustling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rustling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Rustling Short Jokes

Short rustling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rustling humour may include short whispers jokes also.

  1. One night, there was a rustle in the bushes. His mom shouted, "Russel, get out of the bushes!"
  2. It was a dark and stormy night, and there was a rustle in the bush. Get out of the bushes Russell!
  3. Did you hear about the brown paper bag cowboy? He had a brown paper bag hat, brown paper bag boots, a brown paper bag shirt, and a pair of brown paper bag pants. He was arrested. For rustling.
  4. There was once a cowboy who walked into town wearing nothing but leaves. He was arrested for rustling.
  5. I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling!
  6. What happens when the typical activity of philosophical grizzlies undergoes an abrupt change? Beartrends Rustle
  7. "Russel Brand reports he keeps being told he needs to shake up his image" or, as people have been phrasing it 'Rustle brand'.
  8. Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
    She was charged with rustling!

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Rustling One Liners

Which rustling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rustling? I can suggest the ones about growls and flapping.

  1. Reports coming in of mass sheep rustling Suspects on the lamb
  2. What do you call a bird that has been molested? Rustled Crow
  3. Why was the paper man sent to jail? He was caught rustling.
  4. Weezer first to rustle jimmies? Say it aint so | … (hint 1:06)
  5. I rustle jimmies look at my name lol

Rustling joke, I rustle jimmies

Cheerful Fun Rustling Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about rustling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean groan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rustling pranks.

Mafia florists

Some Italian mafia members own a florist shop in a city. Theirs is the only florist is the area, and so they control most of the flower business in the area.
One day, however, another florist shop opens up across the street. Afraid for their business, the mafia send one of theirs to rustle the place up, maybe scare them off. But he comes back to report that the florists are all friars! Being devout Catholics, they can't mess with the good friars.
The mafia boss has a solution. He turns to a guy named Hugh.
"Hey Hugh, you're atheist, right?"
"You you'll have no qualms about shaking up that flower shop?"
"I don't see why I would, boss."
Then he puts his hand on Hugh's shoulder, turns to the rest of the group, and says,
"Only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

The Paper Cowboy

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he always wore a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," answered the bartender.

A blonde girl gets pulled over by a blonde police officer for speeding...

The Police officer asks for a drivers license & the blonde starts going through her bag looking for it.
She's getting increasingly frustrated as she looks for the drivers license & asks the police officer for assistance.
The blonde asks: "I'm having trouble finding it... Can you please tell me what it is suppose to look like?"
The officer responds: "Sure, it's just a square that has your picture on it."
After a bit more rustling through her bag, she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at the mirror and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't realise you were a police officer! You can go"

I ordered from this Chinese restaurant recently

(won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving back home heard the bags rustling and moving. I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
Because I was driving at the time, I pulled over, leaned forward picked the bag up put it on the passenger seat and there it was again more rustling and little eyes looking out from the bag. I thought it's got to be a rat or mouse or something so I carefully pulled the bag open....And there it was ...
A peeking duck.

A sheriff walks into a saloon, the doors swinging on their hinges behind him

I'm gonna need your attention he exclaims.
Everyone in the bar hushes up.
I'm lookin' for a wanted man says the sheriff.
What's he look like sheriff? asks a patron standing at the bar.
The sheriff responds Well now, he's been seen wearing a brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, he also wears brown paper boots and has a brown paper hat. We're calling him the Brown Paper Cowboy.
There's a quiet murmur throughout the bar, until finally someone asks What's he wanted for sheriff?
Sheriff replies Rustling

Little Red Riding Hood walks alone through the dark forest.

Suddenly she hears a rustling behind a thick bush.
She pushes the branches and bushes aside and suddenly the big bad wolf is sitting in front of her.
"Oh, bad wolf. Why do you have such big red eyes?"
"Get out of here. I'm p**...!"

a**... of police powers.

A cowboy walks into a saloon wearing paper bag boots, paper bag pants, a paper bag shirt and a paper hat.
The local sheriff pulls out his gun and says " I'm arresting you."
And the cowboy says "What for?"
The sheriff replies "RUSTLING!"

It was a dark night in the cemetery..

..and Eric had, unwisely, elected to take a short cut. The leaves rustled in the trees, the shadows appeared to move around him, and then.. and then.. tap, tap, tap. Eric started to walk faster but the tapping was only getting louder. Eric grew scared, really scared, until he rounded a big old gravestone and saw a man tapping away at the front of the stone. Trying to hide his relief, Eric said, "You're up late on a cold windy night!" "Yes", said the man. "You always work this late?" said Eric. "Not normally", replied the man, "But the b**... spelt my name wrong!"

A little boy and a man are walking hand-in-hand down a forest path at dusk...

The shadows are lengthening, a breeze is blowing, dead leaves are skittering, tree branches are rattling & creaking and the underbrush is rustling. The little boy looks up at the man and says, "Gee, it sure is scary in these woods!" The man replies, "You think you're scared, kid. I gotta walk back outta here alone."

Cowboy walks into a bar.

A cowboy walks into a bar. He's wearing brown paper shirt, a brown paper vest, brown paper pants and a brown paper hat. "Gimme 5 shots of tequila", he demands. "You must be celebrating" the bartender said as he set up the shots. "yep, I just got out of prison", said the cowboy. "What were you in for"?, asked the bartender. The cowboy replied, "rustling".

A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit.

He's wearing a paper hat, a paper shirt, vest, jacket and pants. He even had a paper holster for his six-shooter.
He wasn't in town 10 minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

A bounty hunter walks . . .

. . into the Sheriffs office and asks if he has any wanted posters.
" I just got the one today" He replies, "The Brown Paper Kid"
The bounty hunter asks "Why do they call him the Brown Paper Kid"
"Well he's got a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper shoes and brown paper pants"
"Okay sure. Whats he wanted for?"

A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit. Paper hat, paper jacket, paper pants and chaps, everything he wore was made of paper.

He wasn't in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

Watch where you eat or it'll watch you

I ordered Chinese from a local place, went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving
I thought w**... is that?
Has something gotten into the bag?
I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
I was driving so I pulled over, leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the orange chicken!
I thought it's got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down.
And there it was
A Peeking Duck

Rustling joke, Watch where you eat or it'll watch you