Russian Women Jokes
18 russian women jokes and hilarious russian women puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about russian women that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Russian Women Short Jokes
Short russian women jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The russian women humour may include short russian people jokes also.
- If smiling is contagious... ...then Russian Women must have a vaccine or built an immunity or something.
- Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women... For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
- What do you call a Russian sovereign with dwarfism and a taste for both men and women? A little bizar
- I seem to attract a lot of women. There's always hot Russian women waiting to give me a good time.
- Why do Russian women go to Polish beauty salons on Halloween? They're not called uroda salons for nothing!
Share These Russian Women Jokes With Friends
Russian Women One Liners
Which russian women one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with russian women? I can suggest the ones about russian girlfriend and mother russia.
- So many hot single Russian women want to marry me According to my spam folder
- I like my women how I like my composers... ...sad and Russian
Hilarious Russian Women Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about russian women you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean polish women jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make russian women pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians
Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have b**... of steel. Even women.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A classic Russian joke...
An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:
The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.
The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.
The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of v**... and the two fellas back!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian drunk in a streetcar
Another Russian joke. A drunk boards a streetcar, and says out loud:
"All the women to the left of me are idiots, and all the women to the right are w**...."
A woman to the right stands up and says, "I've been married for 15 years, and I've always been faithful to my husband, so there."
"Then move to the left."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my drinks the way I like my women...
White, russian. And disproportionately full of alcohol.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories?
Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Russian women get from their husbands that's long and hard on their wedding night?
His last name.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roulette
A meeting wraps up amongst delegates in Russia. The Russian minister says to his fellow delegates, "After meetings like this, its Russian policy to drink v**... and play a round of Russian Roulette."
The Nigerian delegate asks what Russian Roulette is.
"Well I take this revolver, place a round in it, spin the chamber and fire at my temple. Then I pass it around. Each of you spins the chamber and repeats. If you die, it means you didn't have honest intentions in the meeting."
They each take their turn and live, at which point the meetings adjourn. A few months later the same group meets in Nigeria.
After their meetings the Nigerian Ambassador says "After a successful meeting in this country we like to drink Ogogoro and play a round of Nigerian Roulette."
"How do you play?" The Russian asks.
"Well I bring in 4 beautiful women. You must choose to sleep with one of them unprotected."
"That's not so bad," the Russian says "Is there a catch?"
"One of the 4 of them is h**... positive"
Three wives
Three women are chatting, a French, an American and a Russian.
The French says: "After we got married, I told my husband right away that I was not going to cook, do dishes and laundry or clean the house. He disappeared, I didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with a housemaid. Now she does all that, and I just sit and relax all day long."
The American says: "Well, after we got married, I told my husband the same. Didn't see him for a day, two, three, then he came back with some big appliance. Now it does all that automatically, and I just sit and relax all day long."
The Russian says: "After we got married, I told my husband that I wouldn't do all that either. I didn't see him for a day, two, three. On the fourth day I was finally able to see something with my right eye."