Russian Potato Jokes
16 russian potato jokes and hilarious russian potato puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about russian potato that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Russian Potato Short Jokes
Short russian potato jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The russian potato humour may include short soviet potato jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato? The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
- What do you call the sea worthy vessel carrying a Russian potato who rules the land with an iron fist? Dicktatership.
- What do you call the boat of a Russian potato that rules with an iron fist? A dicktatership.
- What do you get when you mix a Russian President, potato chips, gravy and cheese curds? Poutine
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Russian Potato One Liners
Which russian potato one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with russian potato? I can suggest the ones about latvian potato and potato.
- Did you hear about the potato the Russians put into space? They called it Spudnik
- I saw a Russian eating a potato.. I said "Whoa! too soon".
RIP M. Hedberg
Russian Potato Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about russian potato you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean irish potato jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make russian potato pranks.
Ol' Russian joke
Comrade Stalin approaches a farmer and asks :
"Comrade, how many potatoes have we grown this season?"
"Enough to reach God, comrade!" Replied the farmer.
"But there is no God" said Stalin
"Ah, said the farmer, as there are no potatoes."
The Russian and American generals are talking about their troops..(Old Joke)
The Russian general says, "we feed our troops 1,500 calories a day." The American general says "that's nothing. We feed our troops 5,000 calories a day, at least." "Impossible!" says the Russian general. "No man can eat an entire sack of potatoes in 24 hours."
The Russian Potato Crop The Agricultural managers always have to report the yearly crop numbers to the Chairman, and they always lie a little to make themselves look good. But one year the potato crop is very bad.
The potatoes are small, and there aren't very many of them. But the managers tell the Chairman, "There are so many potatoes! We have made a huge mountain of them, that reaches all the way up to God." the Chairman says, "Don't be silly now, you know God doesn't really exist." The managers look at each other and then one of them says "Neither do the potatoes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Russians prefer to eat potatoes shaped like p**...?
Because Russia loves d**...-taters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Russian knock-knock jokes (A Latvian Joke Tribute Song)
In light of recent political tensions, my girlfriend's dad and I sat down and tried to come up with some Russian knock-knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Potato.
Potato who?
Just kidding, is secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ukraine
Ukraine who?
Ukraine your neck left, see secret police.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Putin.
Putin who?
Putin your family is Gulag for asking so many question.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Secret police.
Secret police who?
If I told you, wouldn't be secret.
At an international military convention during the Cold War,
various generals from around the world gathered to brag about their accomplishments. An American general stood up and proudly stated, "In the US military, all of our soldiers get 3000 calories a day and we can raise it to 5000 during periods of hard training."
A Soviet general, upon hearing this, glared at his American counterpart, pulled out his notepad, and started scribbling furiously. Before the next general could speak, he slapped the table, pointed at the American, and shouted, "You liar! No soldier could possibly eat 7 kilograms of potatoes a day!"
I heard this joke while studying Russian in Georgia. Hopefully it translates to English ok :)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian, German and p**... just robbed a bank. They all jump on a train to get away from the cops...
They all climb on board a cargo car carrying pets and supplies. The crew hears the the conductor coming and hides. The Russian hides near some dog cages, sees the conductors flashlight and barks a few times. The conductor moves on, and shines his light towards the cat cages where the German hid. Right away, the German meowed and the conductor moved on without pause. Finally, as the conductor moved towards the back of the car, he approaches a sack of potatoes the p**... has hid in. He kicks the sack and the p**... yells out "PO-TA-TO"!
A Soviet Russian food collector and a farmer
A Soviet official in charge of collecting food from farms goes to a local farm and is greatly warmly by the farmer.
After some light hearted conversation, the official says, "Anyways, I am here to collect the potatoes you have grown."
The farmer replies, "Oh, yes. This has been a marvelous year. We have grown so many potatoes, that if we put them all into a pile, it would reach the foot of God."
The official replies, "That is ridiculous. You know that in Soviet Russia, there is no God."
The farmer responds, "That is fine. We have no potatoes either."