Russian Military Jokes
12 russian military jokes and hilarious russian military puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about russian military that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Russian Military Short Jokes
Short russian military jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The russian military humour may include short russian tank jokes also.
- Why do the Russians put Z on all their military vehicles? Because sooner or later they will all belong to Zelensky
- I think the Russian invasion of Ukraine was caused by a translation error. The Russian military invading Ukraine all have Z's, and the Ukrainians fighting back are the "Not Z's".
- What are the two biggest fears of Russian military? That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.
- I don't know why people are saying the Russian military is weak They're ranked #2 in Ukraine.
- If the current Russian president is preparing to lead a series of swift military offensives... ...does that mean he's Putin on a blitz?
- Why they hire idiots in Russian military intelligence? Well, they used to hire smart people, but those would go to Great Britain, capitulate and stay there to live.
- What's the Russian military's policy on homosexuals fighting in the Ukraine? Donetsk, don't tell.
- What is the difference between a Russian optimist, pessimist and realist?
The optimist studies English.
The pessimist studies Chinese.
The realist stays home and cleans his kalashnikov. - My s**... prowess is comparable to the whole Russian Military. Where I make it out to be much more powerful than it actually is.
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Russian Military One Liners
Which russian military one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with russian military? I can suggest the ones about russian people and russian cosmonauts.
- What do Russian stock traders and Military vehicles have in common They stopped working
Gather Around for Heartwarming Russian Military Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about russian military you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean red army jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make russian military pranks.
Many people recognize that the Russian flag is an homage to the French flag.
But did you know their military flag is an homage to the old French military flag as well? The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. Now the Russians use the same one, just rotated 90 degrees.
Vacations
Russian military tank crosses the border into Finland and a Russian soldier steps out.
"Good morning," says the Border police, "Name?"
"Ivan Ivanovich."
"Occupation?"
"No, just a vacation."
The year is 1945...
The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.
"How do you say civilians?"
"Acceptable casualties."
A Russian military unit receives sad news
One day, a Russian military unit receives news that Pvt. Pavlov's parents had died. The unit decides to break the news to Pavlov as delicately as possible.
The next day, the officer of the unit rounds up the men and then says: "All who have parents, step forward! ...Pvt. Pavlov, where are you going?!".