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Runway Jokes

36 runway jokes and hilarious runway puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about runway that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover hilarious jokes about runway models and airports! From the tarmac to the hangar, get ready to laugh out loud at these funny anecdotes about pilots, flight attendants, and more.

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Funniest Runway Short Jokes

Short runway jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The runway humour may include short plane landing jokes also.

  1. Why did the summer solstice have a successful modeling career? It knew how to "shine" on the runway.
  2. A Belgian pilot... A Belgian pilot is landing his plane,
    Pilot: wow, what a short runway!
    Copilot: yea, but it's sooo wide though!
  3. Models Why did the models keep tripping on the runway?
    They were showing off the fall lineup. Badumtss
  4. What are three most useless things in aviation? The runway behind you.
    The altitude above you.
    The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.
  5. Backstage at Project Runway, Tim walked past me holding some coffee. I said, "Hey, Gunn, where you going with that joe in your hand?"
  6. What did the Asian Airlines plane say to the other Asian Airlines plane on the runway? Aero!
  7. What do you call it when a pilot hits the eject button as he's going down the runway? p**... ejectulation
  8. A Lion Air flight which overshot a runway in Bali c**... landed in the ocean Saturday... and now it's just Lion there.
  9. Got a new job at Gatwick Airport. I patrol the runways on a horse and shoot down any i**... flying devices in the area. I'll be known as The Drone Ranger.

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Runway One Liners

Which runway one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with runway? I can suggest the ones about landing and plane landed.

  1. How do you call a plane that bounces off a runway? A Boeing
  2. A paraplegic went down a runway... She made for a great roll-model.
  3. A model was walking down the runway... She got hit by an airplane.
  4. How do you land a plane? Hurry up, I can see the runway.
  5. Where do you think you can run but yoy can't? A runway!!
  6. What are your best Rupaul runway puns !! Mine would be
    "Kim chi this week your comedy
  7. I dated a runway model once She was always fashionably late
  8. Where do you see airplane models? Runway
  9. What did JFK Jr miss most about Martha's Vineyard? The runway

Runway joke, What did JFK Jr miss most about Martha's Vineyard?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about runway can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of runway puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Runway Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about runway you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean takeoff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make runway prank.

The pilot and copilot are coming into LAX and they are nervous.

Sweat pouring off their brows, they bring the 737 down quickly. As soon as the wheels touch they throw the engines into reverse, stand on the brakes as hard as they can and cry "Stop! Please stop!" The plane stops an inch from the end of the runway. The pilot says "That was the shortest runway I ever saw! And the copilot says "Yeah, but look how WIDE it is!"

Two pilots are landing a plane.

Two pilots are preparing to land and they're coming in hot. The wheels touch the tarmac and before you know it they're off the other end. 100mph through the grass, the fence and they smash through the gates. Glass and bags go everywhere.
When they finally come to a stop the pilot looks at his co-pilot and says "That was the shortest runway I've ever seen!"
The co-pilot says" Yeah, but wasn't it wide!

Flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday

We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.
"Hey folks...um yea sorry about that rough landing...
...wasn't the captains fault,
...definitely wasn't my fault,
...it was the asphalt."
The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.

Ole and Sven are flying a plane over northern Minnesota

Ole is the pilot, and they are approaching their destination. Sven looks out the window and sees the runway in the distance. He notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like a really short runway."
Ole replies, "Oh, don't worry. Dis is a small plane after all. Dere's plenty of space for us to land."
As they get closer, Sven sees that the runway is indeed very short, and he says, "Ole, I don't know bout dis, it looks like dat runway is too short."
Ole says, "Ok, I'll press da brakes as hard as I can when we come down, how bout dat?"
But Sven isn't reassured very much. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too short for them to land. He says, "Ole! Dis runway is way too short. we're gonna c**...!"
Ole says, "Oh shut up. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it."
So, the plane touches down, and despite Ole's best efforts, they do go off the runway and into the fence. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. The two climb out of the wreckage, and Sven says, "You see, I was right! Dis runway was too short!"
Ole looks up and down the runway, and then he says, "Aye, it was really short. But look at how *wide* it is!"

So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.

They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."

Two polish Pilots are trying to land a plane

They approach the ground, but they really struggle with the runway. The plane nearly crashes, but they finally are able to land it.
Jesus, one pilot says. That was the shortest runway ever.
Yeah, and did you see how wide it was?

UK politician Boris Johnson has promised to lie in front of bulldozers clearing a path for the 3rd Heathrow runway.

This should be no problem for him as he has already had plenty of practice lying in front of a bus!

Murphy and Seamus

Two Irish pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.
Murphy says: BuayJesus! Maury an' Josefff! Look how short this runway is.
Seamus replies: Yes, but look how fookin' wide it is!

Airport trouble

An airplane lands at an airport with great difficulty, stopping, just short of an accident. When they arrive at the gate, the captain wipes his brow and says,"My God that's the shortest runway I've ever seen!"
"You're not kidding" says his co-pilot, looking out of the window "but it sure is wide."

Two Polish pilots are coming in for a landing

But they touch down too fast and the plane runs off the end of the runway.
After the smoke clears, the one pilot says to the other, "That runway was a lot shorter than I remember."
The other pilot says, "Yeah... and a lot wider than I remember it too."

I got on a plane the other day. As we were about to depart, a pro-life group ran out on the runway in protest.

Ironically, the pilot had to abort the takeoff.
Which brings a question to mind…. When does flight truly begin? Boarding? Taxiing? Takeoff? Some would have you believe it's not a flight yet even during final descent.

A pilot is coming in for a nighttime landing...

He decides to mess around so he turns off his lights and says to the tower:
"Guess who?"
The tower replies by turning off the runway landing lights and says:
"Guess where?"
(from my old flight instructor) :)

Santa's annual check ride

As the sled rotated off the runway, the examiner pulled a double-barreled shotgun from under his cloak and blasted one of the raindeer. He then turned to the perplexed Santa and said "Engine failure on take-off!"

Idiot pilots - an old one if you haven't heard it . . .

Two idiot pilots are coming-in for a landing.
"Give me 10% flaps," the pilot says.
"Okay, 20% now."
"And, 30%."
"Hey it looks like we're coming in pretty fast," the co-pilot says.
"Yeah, give me 40% flaps."
"Better make that 50%."
"Whoa, this isn't gonna work, 60%, no 80%!"
"Give me 90%, give me 100!!"
The plane hits the runway, the pilot slams on the brakes, and the plane stops just inches from the edge. The pilot wipes his brow and turns to the co-pilot.
"Wow, that's the shortest runway I've ever seen. But, you know, it must be a mile wide." ha ha

Runway joke, Idiot pilots - an old one if you haven't heard it . . .

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these runway jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.