Runny Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

(NSFW) What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full.

Two kids are watching 2 dogs making love.

The female kid asks:
> How do the dogs know when they want to have sex?


> The boy: I don't know... Maybe they smell it.


They sit and watch them a little more. And after a while the female kid asks:
>Do you have a runny nose?

Told my friend his nose was runny

He said it's not

If you think having a runny nose is fun...

Well, it snot

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre.

Dead Hooker

A man enters a brothel with only 5$. He asks the madam what he can get for his 5$. She tells him he can fuck the dead hooker in the attic. Seeing as how he doesn't have much choice he agrees. 10 minutes later he comes downstairs and goes back to the madam. He says, "I don't think she was dead. Just as I finished she got a runny nose!". The madam smiles and says, "No, she's dead. That just means she's full."

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.

"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm."

"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."

The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"

2 black guys having sex with white women

2 Black guys are talking about sex.

"You know what, every time i have sex with a white woman, my nose is runny and my eyes are sore, do you know what that is?"

"What the hell, i have exactly the same problem, my eyes are sore and my nose is runny. But only with white women. You know what is is?"

"I think its the pepper spray"

Yesterday's brothel joke reminded me of this.

So a broke dude goes to the brothel and approaches the bouncer. He tells the bouncer that he is very horny but all he has is $2.

The bouncer tells him that it's enough but he'd have to settle for the dead hooker on the third floor.

The man agrees.

After the deed, the bouncer asks him "how was it?"
"It wasn't bad at all" the man says "but for some reason she had a very runny nose."

"Oh, she must be full"

A woman answers her door...

And a man is standing in the doorway. He says, "lady I'm sorry, but I think I just hit your cat." The lady replies, " oh no, I don't think so, he hardly ever gets out of the house." The man says, "well it came running out of your yard." The woman then asks, "what does it look like?" The man says, "well it looks kinda flat and runny." "No what did it look like before you hit it?". "Surprised. "

Some people think a runny nose is funny...

but it's snot.

My dads favorite

When you're kissing with your honey
and your nose is kinda runny
you may think its kinda funny
but it's not

If you're kissing on your honey and your nose is sort of runny,

you make think it's funny, but it snot.

Don't kiss your wife with a runny nose.

You might think it's funny, but it's snot.

What's brown and runny

Usain Bolt

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full


I heard this on a radio show and thought it was worth sharing

When your nose is really runny everybody thinks it's funny

But it'snot.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

Full.

No laughing matter.

Some people think it's funny when you're nose is wet and runny, but it's snot.

I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day and he asked me how runny I like my cottage cheese.

I told him "No whey, Jose"

You may think it's funny, to kiss your Honey, when their nose is runny, but

It's snot!

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

What's brown and runny

A Kenyan

I'm an over medium comedian

I don't always make yolks, but when I do, they are runny

What's brown and runny?

Usian Bolt

[OC] I saw a homeless man with a runny nose, so I gave him some Pepto-Bismol.

I hear it's good for a leaky bum.

Do you know what was wrong with the girl with the runny nose?

I don't know, but she had tissues.

What's black and runny?

Usain Bolt.

An urchin is travelling in a train

Seated opposite her is a high-class sophisticated lady. She looks at the boy and is appalled by his shabby looks and his runny nose. So she asks the boy "Don't you carry a handkerchief with yourself?


The boy replies "I do, but I am not gonna share with you"

What are the funniest runny jokes of all time?

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