Running Track Jokes
38 running track jokes and hilarious running track puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about running track that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Running Track Short Jokes
Short running track jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The running track humour may include short running race jokes also.
- I've met a track and field athlete that commonly chokes whenever he runs too fast, It became a running gag for him.
- I saw Usain Bolt sprinting around the track shouting, "Why did the chicken cross the road!?" It was a running joke.
- A man goes into his doctors with tyre tracks all across his back. The doctor says, "what's the matter?"
"I'm feeling a bit run down", the man replies. - There's a police officer at the gym I'm going to I asked him to stand behind me on the track so I run faster
- Rolf Harris went on the run... Police tracked him down and found him adrift at sea, bobbin up and down on a buoy.
- Ever since I was young, I always used to run away from my problems It was no surprise when I got accepted to my college's track and field sports team
- Am I the doctor of the Kenyan track team or just irritable? cuz my patience is running thin
- Why do athletes run counterclockwise around a track? Because they use running as a way to *unwind*.
- My track record as an adult is mostly false starts, hurdles and running around in a circle.
- To the person who stole my Nike's with the GPS tracking chip You can run, but you can't hide!
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Running Track One Liners
Which running track one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with running track? I can suggest the ones about track and field and race track.
- What does a musician train do when running from the law? Covers tracks
- I was late to track practice today... ...they made the whole team run.
- I'm not racist, but... I absolutely refuse to run the 400 at todays track meet.
- You know what they say... When the rivers running red take the dirt track
- Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on.
- Four gay men are running around the track. Can you follow?
- Why should you take Track & Field early on? cause it's good in the long run
- What do you get when a proctologist runs track? r**... pro laps
- Why do midgets only buy larger size track shoes? Because they run small.
Running Track Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about running track you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean train tracks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make running track pranks.
Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"
Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes go hiking.
Two blondes go hiking and come across some tracks. The first blonde stops and says they are wolf tracks, while the second blonde says they are bear tracks. After an hour of arguing the train runs them over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad...
...and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track".
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there" answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
"Then" Tom continued "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box".
"What if the phone was busy?" "In that case" Tom argued "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".
"What if that had been vandalised?" "Oh well" said Tom "In that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train c**...!"
Three spinsters went on safari...
and they came upon a huge gorilla. The gorilla grabs one of the women and runs off into the jungle. The other two patiently track the gorilla for three days, until they come to his lair. Ethel, the victim, is horribly bruised and scratched, without a stitch of clothing. Wilma and Blanche quickly cover her with a blanket and make their way to a hospital.
After a week, Ethel is still crying and carrying on. Wilma says "Ethel, you've just *got* to pull yourself together! It's not healthy!"
"What can I say" sobbed Ethel. "He never calls, he never writes!"
The Police, the Interpol and the CIA are participating in a contest.
The Police, the Interpol and the CIA are participating in a contest to see which agency is best at tracking down criminals. So they devise a contest where they release a mouse in the jungle and after 30 minutes each agency goes out to find it. The agency that takes the least time catching the mouse wins.
They get the contest starting and the Police goes first. They let the mouse go and with their informant network they arrive 3 hours later with the mouse.
Then goes the Interpol. They let the mouse go and with their communication network and international contacts, they arrive 1 hour later with the mouse.
Finally the CIA goes after the mouse. Their agent go running into the jungle, and 10 minutes later they arrive with a beaten up crocodile screaming I'm the mouse! I'm the mouse!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Long]Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together
and discussing surgeries they had performed..
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident;
I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said.. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident;
I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs . Several years ago a man was high on c**... and m**...
and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour.
All I had left to work with was the man's blonde hair and the Horse's a**....
I was able to put them together and now he's running for President of the U..S.A!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I visited an old, abandoned fairground yesterday...
My whole family advised me not to.
"Don't go near the rollercoaster", said my mum.
"Why?" I asked.
"Remember... the story of how it is haunted by Runaway Tom... a ghost that is said to tie his victims to the track and have the rollercoaster run over them."
"Don't go near the pirate ship," said my sister.
"Why?"
"Because it is haunted by Cut t**... Greybeard... a ghost who will hang you and slice you..."
"And don't go into the hall of mirrors," warned my dad.
"Why, who is in there?" I asked.
"No one, you're just ugly..."
For the bridge enthusiasts out there: I think my ex must have been a bottom supported bridge with a track running down the middle.
Cantilever alone without someone running a train on her.
Work in progress, needs fine tuning.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy was driving in the outback.
He decides he needs a break and finds a bar off the beaten track and parks his truck..
He goes i and was confronted by a lot off p**... up bikers.
They started insulting him, so he had one beer then left.
The bikers started shouting, he was not such of a man was he.?
The barman said not much of a driver either, he has just run over 21 motorcycles.