Running Shoes Jokes

68 running shoes jokes and hilarious running shoes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about running shoes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Running Shoes Short Jokes

Short running shoes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The running shoes humour may include short new shoes jokes also.

  1. I'm not racist but I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
    But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoe.
  2. I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe
  3. I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, "man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes.
  4. So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes.
  5. I saw a black man running down the street with a TV I was concerned that it was mine so I quickly drove home, as I got home I was relieved to see that mine was cleaning my shoes on the front porch
  6. I see a black guy running down the street with a TV and thought it looked like mine, but it wasn't... .. mine was at home shining my shoes.
  7. As I was driving I saw a black man running with a TV I thought to myself ," that's mine." Then I remembered mine is at my house polishing my shoes.
  8. I saw a black man...... I saw a black man running down the street with a tv an thought to myself is that mine...
    then realised mine was cleaning my shoes!!!
  9. Have you heard of the new running shoes that Apple's producing for the soldiers in middle East? They're calling it iRan.
  10. I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street the other day so I had to run back home and check that mine was still there. It's OK though, mine was still there, just sitting there shining my shoes.

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Running Shoes One Liners

Which running shoes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with running shoes? I can suggest the ones about heel shoes and shoes.

  1. Buy the best running shoes you can afford. You'll thank yourself in the long run.
  2. I beat a Prius today... Thank goodness I had on my running shoes.
  3. It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running, I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.
  4. What do French soldiers wear instead of boots? Running shoes.
  5. Flip-flops are okay But shoes help out in the long run
  6. What's on display at the French War Museum? Running shoes
  7. Today, I picked up my first pair of running shoes. May God have mercy on my Sole.
  8. Why do midgets only buy larger size track shoes? Because they run small.
  9. What's one part of the workout Cardi B never skips? Cardi O
    These is running shoes.
  10. I had to get new tennis shoes this weekend my old ones were pretty run down

Running Shoes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about running shoes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean footwear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make running shoes pranks.

Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up.
The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!"
"I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."

As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home.

Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions.
Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama."
Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!"
Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!"
Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!"
Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"

A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.
On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister.
She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.
She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed."
The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior.
She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother Johns shoes on."

I'm thinking of running as the Prime Minister of Canada

Does anyone have any shoe polish I can borrow for Halloween?

Dirty joke!! -being a p**... is what I do-

So a woman and her boyfriend are driving through the countryside when their car breaks down. They manage to move it to the side of the road, but not much further. For an hour or two, they wait for someone to drive by and help them, but after a while they become bored and get it on.
However, at one point, their car starts to shake so much ( ;-] ) that it rolls over.
The woman can get out, but her husband is trapped.
"Go get help!" He says.
"But I'm not covered!" She replies.
The man reaches for a shoe within his reach."Here. Cover your bottom half with my shoe."
So she takes it and runs, eventually coming across a bus station.
She runs up to a bus driver, clothing the shoe over her private area.
"You've got to help me! My husband is stuck!" The bus driver looks her over, and laughs lightly.
"Sorry, lady. I think he's already too far in."

An ant, a spider, and a centipede are holding a party.

The ant realizes that they are running low on beer. He offers to head out to buy some more beers. The centipede says, "No, let me do it. You'd take too long. I have a lot more legs than you - I can do it faster!" The bugs agree.
10 minutes pass... Then 20 minutes, then 30, then more. The spider asks, "What's taking him so long?" The ant decides to head out to investigate. He opens the front door and sees the centipede outside.
The ant asks, "Hey man, what's taking you so long?"
The centipede replies, "I'm still putting on my shoes."

A young couple is out carousing one evening...(could be repost)

While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you t**... clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to s**.... When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm n**...."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.
When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her c**... and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."

a woman and her boyfriend

A woman and her boyfriend have just left a wild party and are speeding down a country lane in a sports car. The woman wants some fun and strips off her dress so she can flash at passers-by. Unfortunately, the man gets distracted and crashes the car. The n**... woman is thrown clear but her boyfriend is trapped in the wreckage. The only cover the woman can find is one of her boyfriend's shoes, so she holds it over her c**... and runs to a nearby garage. She sees a mechanic and shouts, 'Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!' The mechanic looks at the shoe and says, 'You're going to need a doctor, miss, he's too far in.'

A farmer dies...

... and her wife is left in charge with running the farm. Living with him for twenty years, she knew everything there was about farming, but lacked the physical prowess to do so.
She decided to put up a "Help Wanted" poster to have extra hands to help with her crops. Three men wanted the job, but she chooses the gay man, who is gentler than the rest.
Two months pass by, and the man works very diligently. They soon become well acquainted; being able to trust one another.
One night, the man comes back from town, with newly bought supplies. Upon entry of the farm, he realizes that the widow is still there, waiting at her bed.
The widow beckons a finger at him. The man gulps.
"Take off my shoes."
He takes off her shoes.
"Take off my dress."
He solemnly takes off her dress.
"Unclasp my bra."
The bra is removed.
"Take off my p**...."
He pulls her p**... down.
She scorns, and says, "If I catch you going into town with my clothes again, you're fired!"

A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

A bear joke

Two guys check in at the ranger station before heading to their camp and the ranger says, "Keep an eye out for bears... they can outrun any human". The guys get to camp, set up and just as they're getting ready to relax, they look up the hill and see a huge grizzly bear roar and start charging down towards them. One of the guys immediately sits down and starts lacing up his shoes. The other guy, in disbelief, says "What are you doing?!? The ranger said we can't out run that thing"... and his buddy replies, "I don't need to outrun the bear... I just need to outrun you."

Two hunters are out hunting

Suddenly, they see a bear racing towards them. They start running, but all of a sudden one of them stops and starts to take off his hunting boots and put on running shoes.
The other hunters says to him: "What are you doing? Those will not make you run faster than the bear."
The first hunter replies calmly: "No, but they will make run faster than you."

I was out when I saw a bIack man running with a TV.

"That looks like mine" I thought, so I went home and checked but no, mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

I was watching my brother run a race when I saw his shoe come off.

I could smell defeat In the air.

A couple of unemployed tough guys see a pair of crocodile shoes in a store window.

The one turns to the other and says, "Look at that price tag! I tell you there's money to be made there!"
So they spend the next 4 weeks in Florida hunting crocs. They kill several, eventually running out of bullets and resorting to a knife at first, then their bare hands.
The first one turns to the other and says, "I'll tell you what, if this next croc we see doesn't have shoes on I quit."

The Pope and the Rabbi (not the apple one)

The Pope is walking down a street in London, when the heel breaks off his shoe. He looks around, and sees two shops advertising shoe repair. Looking closer, he sees a star of David on the wall in one, and a crucifix in the other. He thinks for a moment, and decides he'll go into the Jewish run shop, and do a little something for the relationship between the two faiths.
They're a bit surprised when the Pope walks in, but treat him well and do a really nice repair for him. When they're done, they refuse his money but ask if they can put a sign up saying he was a customer. He agrees, and goes on his way. The following day, the Jewish run shop has a sign in the window; "Cobblers to the Pope."
The day after that, the Christian shop has a sign in the window; "b**... to the chief Rabbi."
[I'll get my coat...]

I was considering buying a pair of addidas running shoes for quite some time, then one day, I thought to myself

Just do it

What do you get when you put a hugs, illiteracy, running shoes, and money altogether?

The d**... bag Manny Pacquiao shouldn't have lost to.

What do running shoes and Neo-n**... have in common?

Both make Jews run faster!
(Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)

Probably offensive

My friend and I were walking down the street the other day when we saw a young black man running past with a TV. "That looked just like mine!" I exclaimed. We immediately rushed home to check but everything was fine, mine was still polishing my shoes.

The Russian Army

Q: h**...ш До you Hоld youя АК-47 when running aшay froм nucleaя blast?
A: On far stretched out hands coмяad, so the hot метал, froм the gun does not dяip on sтате oшned shoes!

A close call.

Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

Favourite of all time

I saw a b**... guy running down the street carrying a TV the other day and I thought to myself, "That looks a lot like mine..."
But then I remembered mine was at home, polishing my shoes.

One day David Duke was walking home from the supermarket...

He saw a black man running down the street with a TV and immediately became nervous.
"Wait, is that mine? I can never tell the difference between those d**... things", he said to himself.
He quickly rushed home,
and breathed a sigh of relief.
His was still there; polishing his shoes.

It seems like I only have s**... with girls in high heels...

Probably because the ones in tennis shoes run too fast.

As I was approaching my driveway, I saw a b**... man running away with a TV in his hands and I wondered if it was mine.

Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.

I saw a black man running..

I was walking down the street one evening and I saw a black man running holding a television. I thought to my self "i wonder if that's mine", so I hurried back home and lo and behold it was still there, shining my shoes.

I had ordered a DIY, non-invasive, homeopathic fat reduction kit, and I was really excited that the package just arrived today!

But when I opened it up, it was just a pair of running shoes :(

A boy is walking down the street when a man runs from the opposite direction holding a nice shirt.

"Why are you running?" asked the boy.
"I just got this really nice shirt," the man answered.
"Where from?" asked the boy.
"JC Penny," the man answered before resuming his run.
Shortly after, another man came running from the same direction as the first holding a nice pair of khakis, to which the same exchange occurred. This happened two more times, one holding a pair of socks and another a pair of shoes, until a man wearing just underwear ran by.
"Where are you going like that?" the boy asked incredibly.
"To get my clothes back. I'm JC Penny."

I can usually tell if I'm going to have s**... with someone by what shoes they are wearing.

Pumps and high heels yes, running shoes no- she will probably get away.

What Jews and running shoes have in common?

There are more of them in the 40 than in the 45.

Running culture has gotten weird

Back in my day we wore running shoes and shorts and just tried our best, but I showed up to a 3K and all the people were in hoods and robes and they were all super unpleasant.

I bought a new pair of running shoes.

I can hardly catch up to them!
Whenever I race them, I never lose, but I never win either.
I always tie my shoes.

Did you hear about the guy who tried to run a race with empty two-liters as shoes?

Yeah... He was soda feeted.

When it comes to the family business, Ive got big shoes to fill.

My father isnt important or anything, we just run a clown business.

Batman has retired and now runs a small shoe repair shop.

They call him the Dark Knight of the Sole.

What does the creator of flex tape like to run in?

He runs in flex shoes because they make him go Phil Swift.

A kid asks his dad for alligator shoes for Christmas

The man being poor cannot afford them,so he goes out to find an alligator,he looked at some swamps and lakes for hours with no luck,on his way home that night worrying how his son will so disappointed on Christmas morning,halfway home he sees an alligator walking across the road,he runs out of his truck chasing the alligator,after about half a mile he catches the alligator turns it over on its back and...
Sees it has no shoes,he picked a poor alligator
(Credit to Captain Ron in New Orleans at a swamp tour place)