Running Marathon Jokes
99 running marathon jokes and hilarious running marathon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about running marathon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Running Marathon Short Jokes
Short running marathon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The running marathon humour may include short running race jokes also.
- I told the cop, You can't write me a ticket. I have a marathon to run tomorrow. The cop said, Sir, that's not how you play the race card.
- Officer, you can't give me a ticket. I have to go run the marathon tomorrow. Cop: That's not how you play the race card.
- Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon. They'll take the money and run.
- Me, to the cop: You can't arrest me. I have a marathon to run today! Cop: Stop playing the race card!
- I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway... ... I finished in 3^st
- I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.
- "I'm thinking of running a marathon again." I told my friend. "You've run a marathon before?" she asked, with an air of admiration.
I said, "No, but I've thought about it." - I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it's gone.
- I didn't run a marathon in 2018. I didn't run a marathon in 2019.
I didn't run a marathon in 2020.
I've never run a marathon in my life.
...
This is a running joke. - Thanks to COVID-19, this is the first year I've not been able to run the London Marathon owing to lockdown. Every other year it's been because I'm overweight, can't run, and am too lazy to even try.
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Running Marathon One Liners
Which running marathon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with running marathon? I can suggest the ones about marathon runner and marathon.
- Is it wrong to hate an entire race? I just think marathons are *way* too much running
- I'm not racist I love all races Except marathons I hate running
- I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon It was a running joke.
- I'd hate to run a marathon They just look so hard to organise
- How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon? Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.
- Did you hear about the oompah loompah marathon? Contestants are running short.
- A comedian pretends to enter a marathon... It's a running joke.
- My work signed me up for a 401k But I've never even run a marathon
- There is a running joke among marathon runners ... ... that has even won some medals.
- When is the best time to run a marathon? During Lent. That's when you fast.
- BREAKING - Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon He was banned on the run.
- How do you know if someone has run a marathon? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
- Seriously do not mess with a marathoner They run the streets.
- What do you call a group of jeans running a marathon? ParticiPANTS!
- Charity Marathons.... ... They sure give you a run for your money...
Running Marathon Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about running marathon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean running track jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make running marathon pranks.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
Did you hear they are still going to run the New York Marathon?
Phelps is the favourite.
Did anyone hear about the marathon in Boston? It shocked me.
I didn't know that Americans could run.
Why did the baby have such a poor time in the marathon?
He was running a little behind
Did you ever hear about the guy who threw up at two different marathons?
His friends said it was a running gag!
My grandfather used to run marathons.
Every year while he was in his 20's and 30's, he'd go and participate in the local run. There was a guy who showed up every year, didn't even live in the town. Bit creepy, to be honest, but an alright guy. Anyway, he'd walk up to my grandfather, every year, in these same green sunglasses. He'd tell a story about two priests walking in to a bar, and they couldn't be served for some reason or another. He doesn't remember all the details. But this same guy walked up to the starting line, and told the same story, every year.
The story was never that interesting, but it became a bit of a running joke between them.
An economist was given the choice between participating in a marathon and just a quick race.
He preferred the long run over the short run.
Did you hear about the man running a marathon on the afghanistan border? He actually went 3 miles further...
I guess Iran* a little too far
*I'm pronouncing it "e-ran"
Internet, my Dad's running the London Marathon tomorrow.
Oh, he already told you. Of course he did.
I have decided to run a marathon and have taken up vaping instead of smoking
You could say I am running on fumes.
I'm thinking of organizing a marathon which will go down my sisters street.....
do you think I should run it past her?
Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?
He had a problem with his hamstring.
Gypsy marathon: runs to a lake, swims, bikes back
Terry Fox should have taken his leg off for his run across Canada in 1980 ...
and made it the Marathon of Hop
My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon.
I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run.
Halfway into the 20km marathon, I saw my cheating g/f and told her that I was breaking up with her
I guess it was the right thing to do in the long run.
Why do Roosevelt family marathons always take so long?
They never stop running.
I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh.
It's a running joke.
Why doesn't h**... run a marathon?
Because he can't finish a race.
I've decided to run a marathon for charity.
I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning.
What do you call a broken bone factory?
A manufracturer
I'm going to run a marathon next year.
It's a huge challenge, but 26 miles in 365 days is definitely doable.
Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon?
He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles
Decided to complete my next few marathons dressed in b**... gear
It'll be a running gag
I'm going to compete in the annual Swamp Half-Marathon.
Just want to run that bayou.
Had to run a marathon to protest date r**...
They asked and I felt like I couldn't say no.
peter's friends were worried he'd get hurt because he never even exercised befor the marathon he was running
it was okay, though, he worked out in the long run.
What do you call it when you run a second marathon?
Retirement.
Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot.
Do you think his opponents tasted defeet?
I believe that marathons are bad. They are an excess; a p**... of healthy running. Running anything more than a few miles puts serious wear and tear on the joints without any benefit. Runners should be limited to no more than a 5k at the most, and marathons should be banned.
… and don't tell me that I'm just being racist.
Did you hear about the translator who was running the marathon?
He was Russian to Finnish
Why did the racist man get kicked out of the marathon?
Because he only wanted to run 3 out of the 5 K's
I ran a 5k on the same road that a half marathon was being run. The two were separated by a fence.
It was racist.
I'll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well.
But I'd still give you a run for your money.
What do you call a marathon for pastors?
A Rev Run
I guess my nose is training for a marathon
It's been running since morning..
I saw a bunch of w**... running down the street the other day.
I had no idea there was a marathon that day. God was it ever humid.
Old Soviet joke.
Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: Reagan won. Gorgachev lost .
Soviet newspapers: Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last .
A guy named Miles gets lost during a marathon in India...
"Surely I should be at the finish line by now!" he thinks.
Shortly he comes upon a group of Punjabi people, practically a score of them. "Excuse me," he asks, "Have you all seen anyone running a race around here? I'm not sure how long this thing is supposed to be. If so, can you point them out to me?"
Twenty Sikhs point to Miles.
I didn't arrive on time for the start of the marathon,
I was running late.
Why did the pizza company pull out from marathon sponsorships?
Because it's not smart to run with Little Caesars
My nose is having a marathon today.
It can't stop running.
I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year his girlfriend decided to join us, but she just couldn't understand why we were laughing.
It was a running joke.
Did you hear about the man who paid to enter a marathon?
They gave him a run for his money.
If you run the Boston marathon and do bad, you really shouldn't say you bombed it
What do you call a clown who always signs up for every marathon?
A running gag.
Me: Officer, you can't give me a ticket. I'm planning to run a half marathon tomorrow.
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
I'm never again donating a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
How to run a marathon?
Step 1,Step 2, Step 3
My girlfriend broke up with me after we did a marathon.
I'm pretty heartbroken, but we had a good run.
I'm binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons
Guess it's some sort of running joke
I was running a marathon. I was in first place and could see the finish line. I tripped and fell and now all I see is...
De feet
What do playing a guitar and running a marathon have in common?
I can't do either of them.
Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon.
He is believed to be still on the run
What did h**... say after running a marathon?
Meim Crampf
My coworker is asking for donations for his charity marathon
But I'm afraid he's just going to take the money and run
I was asked to run today's London marathon.
I said I'm flattered but I don't believe I could organise such a big event.