Running Jokes

153 running jokes and hilarious running puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about running that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you have a running joke to share? This article will have you laughing with a roundup of hilarious running jokes. If you or someone you know loves to run, these jokes about running late, running away, running noses, running marathons and more are sure to be a hit. So take a break and get ready to have a good chuckle with these running jokes!

Funniest Running Short Jokes

Short running jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The running humour may include short runs jokes also.

  1. Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
  2. If you run in front of a car you'll get tired... But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
  3. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
  4. 2 blind guys were about to fight I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
    Both started running away.
  5. We used to have empires run by emperors, then we had kingdoms run by king.. Now we have countries..
  6. What's the difference between a lobster and a chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
  7. I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel
  8. I told the cop, You can't write me a ticket. I have a marathon to run tomorrow. The cop said, Sir, that's not how you play the race card.
  9. I wish my college was run by EA At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
  10. After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You cant do that here!"
    I said "Why not?"
    He said "You have to cremate him first!"

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Running One Liners

Which running one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with running? I can suggest the ones about runner and jogging.

  1. is your refrigerator running? If so, I may vote for it.
  2. Doctor: sorry sir but your body has run out of magnesium Me: 0mg
  3. What do you call a mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
  4. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket You can hide but you can't run
  5. Is your refrigerator running? Because I'd vote for it.
  6. How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery.
  7. Jesus may have walked on water... But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
  8. How come ants don't get sick? ...because they have lil' anty-bodies
    *runs away*
  9. What do you call it when two giraffes run into each other? A giraffic jam
  10. Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.
  11. What kind of running means walking? Running out of gas!
  12. Yesterday I went for a walk with a beautiful girl When she noticed me, we went for a run
  13. What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
  14. You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
  15. Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.

Running Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny running day jokes and even better running day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
  • The other day i saw two blind guys fighting I yelled: I BET ON THE ONE WITH THE KNIFE!
    They run away from each other
  • My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is
  • My girlfriend said to me... "If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."
    Turns out she meant together.
  • My doctor he dont help either, he told me to run 5 Miles a Day for two weeks I called him up I said "Doc im 70 miles from my house"
    -Rodney Dangerfield
  • I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow... I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.
  • I had a really sad day today First - My ex got run over by a bus
    Second - I got fired as a bus driver
  • Black Guy in Nike The other day I saw a black guy in Nikes running down the street with a TV.
    I thought to myself "hey is that mine?"
    And then I remembered that mine wears Adidas
  • What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller? Flatman and Ribbon!
    My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.
    R.I.P. Dad
  • I was at the cannibal restaurant the other day and ordered some legs. "Sorry," said the waiter, "they've just run out."

Running Away Jokes

Here is a list of funny running away jokes and even better running away puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
  • Why is the number of black priests so small? Most of them run away after being called father once or twice
  • Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities.
  • Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.
  • Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Because she keeps running away from the ball
  • What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black.
  • why don't melons run away to get married? because they cantaloupe
  • What did the melon say to her fiancé when he asked her to run away with him? I cantaloupe.
  • Why did the moo run away? Because it's a cow word
  • why was Cindrella not selected in any football club? Because she kept running away from the ball
Running joke, why was Cindrella not selected in any football club?

Running Race Jokes

Here is a list of funny running race jokes and even better running race puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Is it okay to hate a certain race? I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.
  • Officer, you can't give me a ticket. I have to go run the marathon tomorrow. Cop: That's not how you play the race card.
  • Is it wrong to hate an entire race? I just think marathons are *way* too much running
  • Me, to the cop: You can't arrest me. I have a marathon to run today! Cop: Stop playing the race card!
  • My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without actually participating in the races. It's our running joke
  • Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks
  • When is the best time for Muslims to run a race? Ramadan. They fast during Ramadan.
  • A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race... the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn't ketchup.
  • A new Zealand joke Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?
    They saw what happened to the sheep
  • How does a snail win a race? It runs against Hillary.

Running Late Jokes

Here is a list of funny running late jokes and even better running late puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.

    Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
  • I had a Muslim friend in college who was always running late. We called him 9/12.
  • A nun wakes up late for church.... She runs out after quickly getting dressed, and asks a small boy, "Is mass out?"
    He replies, "No but your hat's on crooked."
  • I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
  • A message from my late father... "Caught in traffic. Running behind."
  • Why do bees stay in their hives in winter? Swarm.
    What did they bee say to his wife when they were running late for dinner?
    Hurry up honey.
  • Why did the run-on sentence get worried? Her period came late.
  • Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Because its period came too late.
  • How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash.
    (In honor of the late Shepard Book. RIP)
  • A man runs late to paternity court He, out of breath: "I made it"
    Judge: "No, you didn't"

Running Nose Jokes

Here is a list of funny running nose jokes and even better running nose puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mama's so fat Her nose can't even run
    Came up with this myself and was quite proud
  • Everybody knows Rudolph the Red Nose leads Santa's sled team... ...but few know that Bruno the Brown Nose is the second in line.
    He can run as fast as Rudolph, but he isn't as quick to stop.
  • My grandpa said he was built upside down He said his nose runs and his feet smell.
  • A Jew wakes up with morning wood and runs right into a wall. What does he say? Ouch, my nose!
  • If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down.
  • You know if you smell feet and your nose is running Then you just might be upside down
  • It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running, I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.
  • Noses are meant to smell and feet are meant to run, but irl… Noses run and feet smell instead… they switch rolls
  • Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
  • What did the snot say to the nose? I gotta run.
Running joke, What did the snot say to the nose?

Charming Humor Running Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about running you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean working jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make running pranks.

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"

"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."

A bit rapey.

The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.

A little girl runs up behind us (this really happened)...

...while my GF and I were shopping at Target. The girl was maybe 5 and running from her mom. I made the comment, "Look Honey, a free daughter!" GF's reply was "Raising a child is not free." To which I replied, "Yes, but in this case you get a discount on the labor!"

That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting

Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"
Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"

They say that every time you have s**... it's the same amount of exercise as running 5 miles

But I think that's b**... because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds.

Maturbating when hooked up to a heart monitor really gets the nurses running around. They never know if you are coming or going.

Martial arts

The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.

"I love you Freddy," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."

Four more years is a great thing to shout at a president running for reelection...

But not so good to shout at a 14 year old girl.

I'm not racist but

I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.

I bought a fitbit...

I haven't went running yet, but I j**... off for six miles today.

Yo mama so fat...

...she had an heart attack while running an app.

Why is Jeb! Bush still running for president?

Because the Bush family thinks that no child should be left behind.

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House...

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House, after three laps Trump excitedly yells "10 minutes exactly, well that has to be a new record!".
Obama says "I don't think so, Bush did 9:11".

Two clowns are running for public office...

It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

I was viewing a house being sold by a native american

i asked him if it came with running water,
He said 'no, get your own wife'

At the gym

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies? He smiles says Try the ATM in the lobby .

Today is my first day at the gym.

I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."

As I was approaching my driveway, I saw a b**... man running away with a TV in his hands and I wondered if it was mine.

Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.

What's more dangerous than running with the scissors?

s**... with the runs

I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe...

I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."

Girl, are you Norton Antivirus?

Because when you're running, I can't seem to do anything but watch.

I was walking behind a woman at 3 o'clock in the morning after a night out.

She gave a slight glance towards me and She started walking faster, so I walked faster.
She started running, so I started running.
She started screaming, so I started screaming.
I was too scared to look behind and never did find out what we were running away from.

If you want girls to be running after you

Become a Bus Driver.

A policeman arrives at the crime scene

"Now, Madam, can you describe the man who stole your handbag?"
"Oh, it all happened so fast! He pushed me over from behind, I didn't see him at all. One thing though; he was a vegan."
"How do you know that?"
"He told me as he was running off."

Cardiologist and the Mechanic

A cardiologist's car breaks down and he goes to a mechanic to get it fixed. After everything is done, the mechanic asks the cardiologist,
"Here's what I don't understand. I fix engines, and so do you, albeit human ones, so why do you get paid ten times more than I do?"
The cardiologist then turns the ignition on and says, "try it with the engine running."

A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse.

That's the last time we're going to Disney.

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room.

And never visited Bangkok again.

An American and a Russian were discussing their respective freedoms in the 1980's

American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".
Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful n**... woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a n**... woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

Whats worse than running with scissors?

s**... with the runs.

A man is rushed to the hospital and is given blood.

When the man gets worse, a nurse goes running to the doctor, saying "We gave him the wrong blood!"
The doctor responds "Ah, must've been a Type-O!"

A bike in town keeps running me over

It's a vicious cycle

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five.

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. On his birthday, he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o'clock) a horse named Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. Rushing off to the bank, the man was astonished to find he had $55,555.55 in his bank account. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. Pentagram, obviously, came in fifth.

It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a b**... was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you

A penguin is driving to the mall...

All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."

So what are you in to ?

\- I stalk people.
\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.
\- I know.

The year is 2018 and I don't jog. The year is 2019 and I don't jog. The year is 2020 and I still don't jog.

This is a running joke.

A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting "Monster!" "m**...!" "Killer! ".

The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.
The policeman : Tell me what happened.
The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to either c**... the car into a group of 10 people or to swerve into the direction of a single person. Am I a monster for deciding to swerve into the single person?
Policeman : No, that sounds like a difficult yet reasonable decision to make. But tell me how did you end up killing 11 people?
Suspect : Well that a**... ran towards the other 10.

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.

Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"

Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that I'm going for a jog and then I don't...

It's my longest running joke of the year so far...

Soviet Curfew

A man in Moscow is walking home after his day at work and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and tells him to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.
What did you do that for? he asks.
Curfew violation, the other guard says.
Curfew violation? Curfew isn't for another half hour!
I know. That's my friend. I know where he lives. He never would have made it.

In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog.

This is a running joke

I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe

I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe

My husband asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.

I had to get a running start but I made it

I know I'm gonna get hate for saying this, but there are some races that I just don't like.

For instance, anything with an obstacle in it. Like if I'm running 10k, don't make me climb over a wall halfway through it.

McAfee not dead actually..

He is still running in the background.

They say that during s**... you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.

Who the h**... runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

A kindergartner asks to use the bathroom

Teacher: sing the ABC's, then I'll let you go
Kindergartner: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the P?
Kindergartner: It's running down my pants!

An assassin is running towards Trump

His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts Mickey Mouse . This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction.
Trump turns to his bodyguard and says Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse The bodyguard replies Sorry Sir, I meant to say Donald, Duck.

A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice p**... field when he sees his son running to him

'Father, father look' , the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly ' The Americans have gone to the moon '.
The farmer drops his plough and asks excitedly ;
'All of them'
'No just 3', replies the kid
'Damn it'
The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.

I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…

I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."

A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.

Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.

When you die, people cry and beg for you to come back.

But, when you do, they're all running and screaming.

Finally, a blonde joke I haven't heard before…

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
Because I'm the Goalie!


A blond Joke I've only heard once before.

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
"Because I'm the Goalie!"

A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.

As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.

A little girl was walking home from school when a man on a motorcycle pulled up beside her.

Man: Hey little girl, want to ride on the back of my motorcycle?
Girl: No.
Man: Come on sweetie, I'll give you five dollars if you ride with me.
Girl: Get away from me or I'll call the cops.
Man: How about twenty dollars, just get on the back with me.
Girl: (Starts running) No way!
Man: Okay, final offer, twenty dollars and a bag of candy.
Girl: Look, Dad, you had to buy a Honda instead of a Harley, you ride it!

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy.

The guy takes off his shirt she says, "Oh what chest!"
"That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
Then he takes off his pants she says, "Oh what legs!''
He says, "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says, "Why were you running?"
She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

2010: Didn't jog.

2011: Didn't jog.
2012: Didn't jog.
2013: Didn't jog.
2014: Didn't jog.
2015: Didn't jog.
2016: Didn't jog.
2017: Didn't jog.
2018: Didn't jog.
2019: Didn't jog.
2020: Didn't jog.
2021: Didn't jog.
2022: Still haven't jogged.
This is a running joke.

Three men died and as soon as they arrive in heaven they meet Jesus

'To enter heaven you must do what I say' said Jesus
He goes to the first man:
'Fernand, kiss my hand, and you're free to go.'
the man kisses Jesus hand and enters the paradise
'Pete, kiss my feet and you're free to go.'
the man kisses Jesus feet and got into the golden gate
When Jesus goes to talk to the third one, he sees the man running away
'Hey Brock, why are you running?'

Two r**... went to the beach

The younger of the two said "This s**..., man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"
His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."
So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimwear. They met up again about an hour later and the boy said "Man, that didn't help at all! Now they're just running away from me!"
And the older r**... said "You d**...- you're supposed to put the sock in the FRONT!"

Friend of mine is doing really well running his crematorium

He urn's a lot

Running joke, Friend of mine is doing really well running his crematorium

jokes about running