Following is our collection of funny Run jokes. There are some run ran jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these run trot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.
So in essence, Jesus is...>!never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.!<
The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed."
A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I'm Dave. I have no arms so I won't beat you, and no feet so I won't run away."
"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Me: 0mg
Now we have countries..
One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.
You can hide but you can't run
At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
You can explore run runner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean run rin dad jokes. There are also run puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape
You can hide, but you can't run.
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
It's already run out of battery.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
It's hard on your joints.
A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."
She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"
He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"
I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.
A giraffic jam
Some people... You give them an inch and they take a mile
Now it just doesn't work.
When she noticed me, we went for a run
Little Seizure's
Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: Reagan won. Gorgachev lost .
Soviet newspapers: Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last .
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.
But it's still only my first week in Israel.
But nature is only out a buck.
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
So they can run their hands through their hair.
Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"
He got back home and found a note that read, hi honey, I've left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We are both 54 years old, and I think you'll figure out as a mathematician that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
Cop: That's not how you play the race card.
A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
when they call it an iPhone 6+ and it's only 5.5 inches.
Dos
I yelled: I BET ON THE ONE WITH THE KNIFE!
They run away from each other
Thief: They steal your money then run
Politician: They run and then steal your money
They'll take the money and run.
They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"
and a couple of girls said to me "Is it all right if we walk with you? Walking through here at this time of night really freaks us out!"
I said, "Sure, I'm fine with that. It used to freak me out too, back when I was alive."
And you never saw anyone run so fast.
A drunk driver will run the stop sign. A stoned driver will stop and wait for the sign to turn green.
But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
Cop: Stop playing the race card!
...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"
Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him
Most of them run away after being called father once or twice
But not many people can run two countries at once
Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea
A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"
To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Being Oppressed!'. But now I read these Arab papers and the headlines are all 'Jews Own All the Banks!' 'Jews Control the Media!' 'Jews Run the World!'. It's much more uplifting!"
Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."
The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."
"If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."
Turns out she meant together.
They both make black men run faster.
The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."
Because you will get exhausted.
Why don't you run on the side of the car?
Because you will get tired,
Why don't you run in front of a car?
Because you will get run over.
But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
He has to run two countries instead of one.
I've never run so far in my life.
No one could de-fetus.
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
A car pulled into the garage, and the woman said, "Oh no it's my husband! Quick, use the back door!"
Thinking back, I should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day.
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
...only run non-prophet organizations.
It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins.
...69 people? What the hell was wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran towards the wedding party so l followed him.
A blonde comes up to him and says, wow what a great chest you have! The man replies, Thats one hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes off his pants. The blonde says, Wow! What great calf's you have! The man then replies, that's two hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes of his underwear. The blonde runs off screaming in fear. When the man catches up to her he asks, Why did you run away? The blonde replies, I didn't wanna be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!
Because it's past tents
I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks
Her nose can't even run
Came up with this myself and was quite proud
He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...
He can't run away from his responsibilities.
After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""
I'm always like "You're about to run into that lamp!"
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
So he could run his fingers through his hair!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the run chase jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working run kenyan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.