Run Jokes

166 run jokes and hilarious run puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about run that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Whether you're a long-distance runner or a fan of running gags, this article will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. From hitting and running to nut and running, these running jokes are sure to have you in stitches. Who knew running could be so much fun? Be on the lookout for oncoming runners and hide when you hear, "Home run!"

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jokes about run

Best Short Run Jokes

Short run puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The run humour may include short hide jokes also.

  1. Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
  2. If you run in front of a car you'll get tired... But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
  3. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
  4. 2 blind guys were about to fight I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
    Both started running away.
  5. We used to have empires run by emperors, then we had kingdoms run by king.. Now we have countries..
  6. What's the difference between a lobster and a chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
  7. I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel
  8. I told the cop, You can't write me a ticket. I have a marathon to run tomorrow. The cop said, Sir, that's not how you play the race card.
  9. I wish my college was run by EA At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
  10. After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You cant do that here!"
    I said "Why not?"
    He said "You have to cremate him first!"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about run can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of run puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Run One Liners

Which run one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with run? I can suggest the ones about oncoming and runner.

  1. is your refrigerator running? If so, I may vote for it.
  2. Doctor: sorry sir but your body has run out of magnesium Me: 0mg
  3. What do you call a mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
  4. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket You can hide but you can't run
  5. Is your refrigerator running? Because I'd vote for it.
  6. How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery.
  7. Jesus may have walked on water... But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
  8. How come ants don't get sick? ...because they have lil' anty-bodies
    *runs away*
  9. What do you call it when two giraffes run into each other? A giraffic jam
  10. Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.
  11. What kind of running means walking? Running out of gas!
  12. Yesterday I went for a walk with a beautiful girl When she noticed me, we went for a run
  13. What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
  14. You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
  15. Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate? To lay off his campaign staff.

Home Run Jokes

Here is a list of funny home run jokes and even better home run puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm not racist but I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
    But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.
  • So Tim Tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
  • A man runs home after winning the lottery "Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
    "Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"
    "I don't care, just get out!"
  • I went for a run , but came home back after 2 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I was fat and couldn't run for more than 2 minutes.
  • When I heard the news that 12 Thai schoolboys had been rescued from underground... I had to run home and make sure my basement was still padlocked.
  • I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, "man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes.
  • A man was watching TV at home He said out loud "Run you idiot!"
    His wife heard him and asked "Are you watching a horror film?"
    He responded "Nah. Just our wedding tape."
  • So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes.
  • ...well darn I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
  • "Donald says he wants to run for President and move on into the White House... ...why not; it wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home" -Snoop Dogg

Nut And Run Jokes

Here is a list of funny nut and run jokes and even better nut and run puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Leprechauns Why are leprechauns always laughing when they're running?
    Because the grass is tickling their nuts
  • Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? Because the grass tickles their nuts...
  • The biggest joke of 2015.. When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President.
  • A guy frantically runs into a therapist's office wearing nothing but seran wrap underwear. The therapist takes one look at him and says "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
  • What did one nut say to the other nut as it was running away? I'm a cashew.
  • I just saw a chipmunk running around Walmart... His savings were nuts!
  • Did you hear who Deez Nuts is picking as a running mate? Shaft.
  • A man runs out of a forest and into a bar, yelling: the squirrels are after me, they think I'm nuts!
  • Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**
  • I have a problem with running away from relationships after s**.... I just nut and bolt.

Here is a list of funny cookie run jokes and even better cookie run puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Your momma is so fat.... Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.
  • What do you do when you run out of cookies? Order Samoa.
  • Four girlscout cookie boxes down in a day and I realized I have a problem ... I'm running out of cookies.
  • "All your dreams will come true", said my fortune cookie And the next day I realized, I went to work n**... and couldn't run when I got chased by that monster

Hit And Run Jokes

Here is a list of funny hit and run jokes and even better hit and run puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris hit the longest home run in MLB history He also caught that ball
  • I drive my car like I play cricket I hit and run
  • A pickpocket is a victim of a motorcycle hit-and-run. A police officer comes to his aid.
    "Do you remember his license plate?" he asks.
    "No" says the pickpocket weakly, "but here's his wallet."
  • I got ran over by someone in a wheelchair It was a hit and can't run.
  • Two guys go into a hat shop run by a cyclops. One of them says "That's the one I'd get". So the cyclops hit him.
  • I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It's a running joke.
  • How do you kill a cat with 16 lives? You run it over with a 4x4.
    Bonus joke.
    How do you kill a cat with 8 lives at home depot?
    You hit it with a 2x4
  • Boxing is probably the most applicable martial art to the street... If you run away, you probably won't get hit.
  • A man was arrested after running a red light and hitting a Chinese food delivery car. He is charged with careless driving and wonton destruction.
  • What do you call a psychic gnome that just committed a hit and run? A small medium at large.

Cheerful Fun Run Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about run you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean ran jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make run prank.

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.

Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

So in essence, Jesus is...>!never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.!<

A woman places an ad looking for a man to be her lover

The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed."
A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I'm Dave. I have no arms so I won't beat you, and no feet so I won't run away."
"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.

A boy excitedly reports to his miserly father...

"Papa!" the boy exclaims. "Instead of buying a bus ticket, I ran home behind the bus and saved a dollar!"
The father immediately slaps the child. "Spendthrift!" he screams. "You could have run home behind a taxi and saved twenty!"

A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.

The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."
A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and pointing.
The muscular friend sees this and comes over to his scrawny friend. "Dude," he says. "You have to put the potato in the front."

A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run!

His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day

When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons...

Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

I painted my computer black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

What's NNN?

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you

The surgeon general warns, "do not run while smoking m**...".

It's hard on your joints.

A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."

A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."
She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"
He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"

Is it okay to hate a certain race?

I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.

Nowadays, you don't run into many guys named Lance.

But in the Middle Ages, people used to be named Lancelot.

My wife always takes a run right after we have s**...

Some people... You give them an inch and they take a mile

Old Soviet joke.

Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: Reagan won. Gorgachev lost .
Soviet newspapers: Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last .

Three Engineers are having an argument...

The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"

I before E

Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.

These b**... "Among Us" jokes have really run their course!

Sorry, I just had to vent.

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews

But it's still only my first week in Israel.

I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars.

But nature is only out a buck.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets?

So they can run their hands through their hair.

Give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank

Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

Wheel Chair bound congressman Madison Cawthorn lost his primary tonight.

Now it's not just his doctors telling him that he can no longer run.

My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight...

I told her "I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant."

Slip of the Tongue

Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have s**... with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of f**...' one?"

A mathematician came home and told his wife, sorry honey, but I'm leaving you for my 18 year old assistant. I'll be home in a few hours and I'd like for you to be gone.

He got back home and found a note that read, hi honey, I've left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We are both 54 years old, and I think you'll figure out as a mathematician that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.

Officer, you can't give me a ticket. I have to go run the marathon tomorrow.

Cop: That's not how you play the race card.

Go away bee, don't bother me.

A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.

You know Apple is run by men...

when they call it an iPhone 6+ and it's only 5.5 inches.

How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?


God the Engineer

Three engineers are having lunch and discussing what kind of engineer God is. The mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the complex structures of the body!" The electrical engineer says, "No, look at the electrical processes of the body, which the brain could not operate without, he must be an electrical engineer." The civil engineer says, "You're both wrong, he had to be a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste line through a recreational area?"

I am really scared of encountering cougars when I go on a run

If I ever saw one , I'd Puma Pants .

The other day i saw two blind guys fighting

They run away from each other

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.

They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run
Politician: They run and then steal your money

Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon.

They'll take the money and run.

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a s**... driver?

A drunk driver will run the stop sign. A s**... driver will stop and wait for the sign to turn green.

I was walking past the graveyard late at night

and a couple of girls said to me "Is it all right if we walk with you? Walking through here at this time of night really freaks us out!"
I said, "Sure, I'm fine with that. It used to freak me out too, back when I was alive."
And you never saw anyone run so fast.

Me, to the cop: You can't arrest me. I have a marathon to run today!

Cop: Stop playing the race card!

Sometimes I get the urge to run around n**..... But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking.

Sometimes at work...

...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

Why is the number of black priests so small?

Most of them run away after being called father once or twice

Say what you want about Vladimir Putin..

But not many people can run two countries at once

I used to run a dating service for chickens...

But i was struggling to make hens meet.

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

My Doctor says I've run out of Magnesium


An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading the Tehran Times

A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"
To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Being Oppressed!'. But now I read these Arab papers and the headlines are all 'Jews Own All the Banks!' 'Jews Control the Media!' 'Jews Run the World!'. It's much more uplifting!"

A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic

A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."
The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

My girlfriend said to me...

"If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."
Turns out she meant together.

If you run into an a**... in the morning, you ran into an a**....

If you run into a**... all day, you're the a**....

What's the similarity between Nike and the k**...?

They both make black men run faster.

Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.

The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."

Say what you want about Putin but he's the world hardest working president,

He has to run two countries instead of one.

Why don't you run behind a car?

Because you will get exhausted.
Why don't you run on the side of the car?
Because you will get tired,
Why don't you run in front of a car?
Because you will get run over.

I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife.

But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these run jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.