Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Run puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed."
A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I'm Dave. I have no arms so I won't beat you, and no feet so I won't run away."
"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Now we have countries..
One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape
You can hide, but you can't run.
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
It's already run out of battery.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
It's hard on your joints.
A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."
She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"
He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"
I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.
A giraffic jam
Some people... You give them an inch and they take a mile
Now it just doesn't work.
When she noticed me, we went for a run
Little Seizure's
Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: Reagan won. Gorgachev lost .
Soviet newspapers: Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last .
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.
But it's still only my first week in Israel.
But nature is only out a buck.
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
So they can run their hands through their hair.
Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"
He got back home and found a note that read, hi honey, I've left and decided to run off with the 18 year old pool boy. We are both 54 years old, and I think you'll figure out as a mathematician that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.
A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
when they call it an iPhone 6+ and it's only 5.5 inches.
Dos
I yelled: I BET ON THE ONE WITH THE KNIFE!
They run away from each other
Thief: They steal your money then run
Politician: They run and then steal your money
They'll take the money and run.
and a couple of girls said to me "Is it all right if we walk with you? Walking through here at this time of night really freaks us out!"
I said, "Sure, I'm fine with that. It used to freak me out too, back when I was alive."
And you never saw anyone run so fast.
A drunk driver will run the stop sign. A stoned driver will stop and wait for the sign to turn green.
But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
Cop: Stop playing the race card!
...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"
Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him
Most of them run away after being called father once or twice
But not many people can run two countries at once
Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea
Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. "Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."
The mechanic has a look under the car. "Your alignment is off."
"If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."
Turns out she meant together.
They both make black men run faster.
The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."
He has to run two countries instead of one.
I've never run so far in my life.
No one could de-fetus.
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
A car pulled into the garage, and the woman said, "Oh no it's my husband! Quick, use the back door!"
Thinking back, I should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day.
...only run non-prophet organizations.
It's a nice way to tell her i love her.
And also that we're outta napkins.
I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks
Her nose can't even run
Came up with this myself and was quite proud
He can't run away from his responsibilities.
After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""
I'm always like "You're about to run into that lamp!"
He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...
So he could run his fingers through his hair!
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.
Ramadan. They fast during Ramadan.
You can hide but you can't run
The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.
I forgot that I was fat and couldn't run for more than 2 minutes.
... I finished in 3^st
100 meter Daesh
They both run along the property line without distracting from the view.
I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.
Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left over to buy the milk my mom asked me to get.
Me: Sucks you can not do that today!
Oldman: Yeah, I know son! Now a days, there is just way to much security . . .
I had to run home and make sure my basement was still padlocked.
But I think that's bullshit because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds.
When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
They stumble around breaking things
Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....
I'm sorry
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.