The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed."
A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I'm Dave. I have no arms so I won't beat you, and no feet so I won't run away."
"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Now we have countries..
One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape
You can hide, but you can't run.
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.
Europa creek with no paddle.
I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.
You can hide, but you can't run.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
It's already run out of battery.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
It's hard on your joints.
A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."
She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"
He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"
When he gets there the devil begins to explain his everlasting torment. "Down here you will wade in scalding magma, always burning and unable to die. There will be noxious fumes that pour into your lungs, you will always be suffocating but always conscious. You will be whipped and flayed and never run out of flesh to sever. Your eyes will-"
"Are there printers?" The man interjects.
"....Printers? Um no, not that I know of, but-"
"Okay this place sounds fine, let's go."
I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.
Now it just doesn't work.
When she noticed me, we went for a run
Little Seizure's
Reagan and Gorbachev run a marathon.
Reagan won.
Next day US newspapers: Reagan won. Gorgachev lost .
Soviet newspapers: Gorbachev finished second. Reagan finished next to last .
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body."
The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"
Except when you run a weird heist on a feisty foreign overweight neighbor wearing beige.
But it's still only my first week in Israel.
But nature is only out a buck.
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
So they can run their hands through their hair.
No whey Jose.
Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of fuckin' one?"
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Run? Well, here are the best Run dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Run pick up lines to share with friends.