Rumour Has It Jokes
61 rumour has it jokes and hilarious rumour has it puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rumour has it that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Rumour Has It Short Jokes
Short rumour has it jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rumour has it humour may include short rumour jokes also.
- Aerosmith According to fellow band members, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler handle a pen very femininely. Rumour has it he doodles like a lady.
- Rumours of a food shortage..... rumour of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.
- Rumours suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him. Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds.
- There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
- I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.
- My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder. Well, three can play that game!
- Rumour has it... Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on good friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.
(Easter Joke... Nailed it.) - What about the rumours David Cameron smoked drugs as a schoolboy? What worries me most is that he dressed up as a schoolboy to do it, the pervert.
- Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life. Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359
- Rumour has it Eminem has converted to Islam. From now on, he will call himself "Muslim Shady."
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Rumour Has It One Liners
Which rumour has it one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rumour has it? I can suggest the ones about legend has it and reportedly.
- I heard a rumour about the canadian Prime Minister Not sure if it's Trudeau.
- Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it.
- I heard a rumour about butter... Everyone's spreading it.
- Why won't any sea creatures date oysters? Rumour has it they're shellfish lovers.
- Have you heard that rumour about butter? I probably shouldn't spread it.
- To enjoy gossip you really need to have a sense of rumour.
- I heard a rumour that tequila can be drunk neat. But I took it with a pinch of salt.
- I've heard a lot of gossip about molasses today. It's nothing more than viscous rumours.
- Rumors What is the craziest rumour you have heard about yourself?
- Rumour has it that I got a new computer today... It's Adele!
- I've heard the rumours of m**... Jagger's lips... They're Exjaggerated.
Rumour Has It Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about rumour has it you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean supposedly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rumour has it pranks.
After trying many fruits and vegetables in my kids lunch, their favourite by far was sliced cucumber.
I don't know if it was our source, or our fridge, but they only really stayed fresh for a few days. This meant that at least twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab a couple cucumbers.
After a couple months it became obvious that I kept buying them from the same clerk. The way he interacted with me also changed, giving me little smile's and sometimes a wink.
All of a sudden it hit me, and I felt embarrassed by what he was probably thinking. The next time I went in I also grabbed a jar of Vaseline; hopefully I fixed this before he spread any rumours about me being a vegan.
Fun with cucumbers
After trying many fruits and vegetables in my kids lunch, their favourite by far was sliced cucumber.
I don't know if it was our source, or our fridge, but they only really stayed fresh for a few days. This meant that at least twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab a couple cucumbers.
After a couple months it became obvious that I kept buying them from the same clerk. The way he interacted with me also changed, giving me little smile's and sometimes a wink.
All of a sudden it hit me, and I felt embarrassed by what he was probably thinking. The next time I went in I also grabbed a jar of Vaseline; hopefully I fixed this before he spread any rumours about me being a vegan.
The Wasp
There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted and breezes through, finishing with 5 phDs. He then decides he wants to go into politics. He starts out municipally and then onto state government, until he finally decides to run for President of the United States. He wins in a landslide, he was so popular that it was rumoured the opposition even voted for him. After his 8 years in office (yes, he got reelected) he remembers all the other wasps he left behind in the hive. He goes back to visit them. He sees his mother, his father, his auntie, his uncle, his brothers, his sisters, his cousins, and his one in-bred half brother on his dads side. When he is there he gets thirsty, he goes to the watering hole but there is a gigantic line, he estimates that it would take him 3 days to get a drink. "No point in waiting that long." He said. Then he made his way to the cider, but there is an even longer line there. Suddenly, he remembers that almost no one drinks punch in his hive. He makes his way over to the punch bowl, and guess what? There is no punchline.
What do the Eurozone and the New England Ptriots have in common?
They're both dogged by rumours of deflation.
The Magic Mirror
This is a rumour that a magic mirror resides in New York City. Anyone who can tell the truth in front of it is granted 3 wishes of their choosing. Anyone who tells a lie is exploded.
3 girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette find the mirror and try to claim their wishes.
"I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" says the brunette.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think I'm the smartest girl in the world!" says the redhead.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think-" says the blonde.
She explodes on the spot.
Rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys
Coincidentally, they are also called w**... and Buzz
Rumour...
I heard a rumour that a man in town is selling a fake bedside-clock.
It's a false alarm.
Hey! I've heard your wife is cheating on you with your best friend..
Nah, that's b**... man, I hate how people spread rumours like that. I just met the guy once
Hillary Clinton is rumoured to join the spice girls if she loses the race.
Welcome to the band, hospice.
I didn't believe the rumours about clowns being spotted all over the country
Until I saw them debating on TV.
There are rumours big Canadian banks Scotia and TD may merge...
giving Canada one giant STD
There's a man living near me who has 5 p**....
Rumour has it his underwear fit him like a glove.
There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a b**...
There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a b**... after he completed some work for us. Well that's a load of b**.... The only person home that day was our cross dressing son.
fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album
I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours
Heard a rumour Cadburys are producing chop suey flavoured chocolate bars.
Probably just Chinese Wispas.
Vampires are quickly leaving America after the rumours
Of what it will cost them per byte.
My dad told me never to listen to rumours.
Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely shagged out.
Scientists had heard rumours of a new species of butterfly in London...
But it turned out to be an Urban Moth
Rumour has it Cadbury are bringing out an Oriental chocolate bar.
It could be a Chinese Wispa.
I heard a rumour that a woman down the office smelled of fish
So when she popped up beside me I was absolutely reeling.
A man who escapes from the USSR is being interviewed by an American journalist
Journalist: So, how is life in the Soviet Union?
Man: Well, I can't complain
Journalist: But, I have heard that in your country there is often not enough food and long lines. Is this true?
Man: I can't complain
Journalist: In the USA there are rumours that people that oppose your leaders gets killed or just disappears. Do you know anything about this?
Man: Can't complain about it
Journalist (now frustrated) : But why did you escape? Based on this interview, life is great over there
Man (Smiling) : Because here I can complain
Did you hear the rumours?
No. What are they?
Apparently your hearing aids are secondhand.
I heard rumours about my neighbourhood church buying loads of guns for an event this Sunday
and I just found out it was a mass shooting
Rumour has it there's a new devil's lettuce in town..
But it romaines to be seen if it can w**... out the competition
Michael J. Fox is rumoured to be the next James bond...
He'll shake his own martinis and he's got a license to spill.
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
Telegram
Telephone
Tell a woman
Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.
Why were corn flakes invented joke
John Harvey Kellogg believed s**... desires caused disease and invented the plain cereal to stop self-pleasuring.
P.S.
Corn Flakes were not invented as an anti-masturbatory aid, despite a popular rumour which has surfaced online. Corn Flakes were developed to provide nourishment to patients at the Kellogg sanitarium in Michigan.
Rumours are spreading that Arnold Schwarzenegger is being cast in a Namor the Sub-Mariner film. It's not known who he will be playing...
But we can confirm that it's not Attuma.
kid: Dad, what's a 'gossip'?
Dad: "hmm... I think you could says that a gossip is a person with a great sense of rumour."