Rumors Jokes
36 rumors jokes and hilarious rumors puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rumors that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rumors Short Jokes
Short rumors jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rumors humour may include short rumour jokes also.
- I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country... But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV.
- In honor of Father's day, a dad joke There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
He'll be Bach - There's a rumor going around that someone in our friend group is gay. I hope is Dillon, he's really cute.
- There's been a rumor going around recently that Rowan Atkinson can't please his wife Apparently he missed her bean
- Someone asked a ship captain if the rumor that he can't swim is true. "Yes," he replied. "Can pilots fly?"
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they're working on a self driving boat as well. They're going to call it the iAye
- Rumors are that Harry Styles is BiSexual according to a recent interview I hear they're going to change the name of the band to 'Both Directions'
- I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company's tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer. And then IT hit me.
- There is rumor of a new "Amish Flu" out of Pennsylvania... the symptoms are low grade fever, and you will get a little hoarse and Buggy.
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Rumors One Liners
Which rumors one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rumors? I can suggest the ones about rumour has it and gossip.
- There's a rumor that Trump is fleeing to Canada... It isn't Trudeau.
- I've heard rumors acid is dangerous. Pretty sure they are baseless though.
- Did you guys hear the rumor about the butter? I don't know if I should spread it.
- Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman The cast will have a FeMale.
- Nobody knows how a Wookiee taste. Rumor has it that at least one is Chewie.
- You know, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is pansexual. He just doesn't see gender.
- Ever heard of the blind gynaecologists? Rumor has it he could read lips.
- I'm not gay! It's just a rumor started by all the guys I've slept with!
- What do you call a fake room? A rumor.
- Did you hear the rumor about the new save system for the ff7 remake? Cloud Saves
- What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor. - What is a rumor about the Hungarian prime minister called? An Orban legend
- Whats a rumor based on the Hungarian prime minister? An Orban legend
- What do you call a camel that loves to divulge in rumors? A dramadarie queen
- Rumor has it LeBron James almost got traded to the 76ers today. But the deal flopped.
Happy Rumors Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about rumors you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean reportedly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rumors pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Letter from 7 to 6
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.
Sincerely,
7
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was taken to court by several people for spreading scandalous rumors about their s**... lives
The judge asked the man, "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
"Well your honor," responded the man. "I grew up on a very small land mass in the ocean and its just a part of our culture."
Not satisfied, the judge asked, "What culture could you possibly belong to that would lead you to besmirch these good people's reputations?"
The man shrugged and responded, "Islander."
(this just came to me)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
China's lack of transparency on virus is fuelling rumors: US experts
It's basically all this he said Xi said b**....
If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car...
Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
I just heard Paul Bettany is going to star in a standalone movie for the MCU which will begin filming later this year.
If the rumors are true, we're getting 2020 Vision.
There are some pretty big rumors about the wine industry.
I heard it through the grapevine.
G.W.Bush - Dyslexic?
After many speech errors, mispronunciations, apparent Freudian slips, rumors began to swirl that President Bush may be dyslexic. At a press conference the following month, one journalist found the courage to ask "Mr. President, is there any truth the the current rumor that you are, in fact, dyslexic?" To which he emphatically replied, "ON!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A football coach addresses his team amidst rumors of his racism...
and says:
"I know people have been saying things, but those rumors couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, I don't care what color any of you are. I don't care if you're black. I don't care if you're white. It simply doesn't matter. So, I'll tell you what. From now on, you're all green.
"Now, everybody get on the bus. Light green in front, dark green in back."
"Hey, mate, rumors have it that you won a car in a lottery, wanna hang out sometimes?"
"Yeah, it's mostly true, except it was a house, not a car. And poker, not lottery. And lost, not won".
Rumors have it that Kim Jung Un eats a thousand time more than his soldiers eat in a day, per meal.
To be honest though I don't think a bowl of rice is too much for a meal
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do s**... offenders hear rumors?
New rumors suggest mike Tyson's lisp may have been cause by an addiction to synthetic amphetamines.
...it's really methed up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After rumors of his death, Eddie Vedder takes to social media...
The Pearl Jam front man assures fans that, "Ooh h**... I-hi, Iiiii, I'm still alive."
The NSA is bracing itself for what could be the single largest data leak in history. Rumors are circulating about the possibility of thousands of whistleblowers stepping forward in unison across the Northeast in the next few days.
CNN reports, "This time tomorrow, there will be thousands of Edward's snowed in."
Rumors
What is the craziest rumour you have heard about yourself?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man in a desert rubs a magic lamp
Sure enough, a genie appears and says, "The rumors aren't true. You don't get three wishes. You only get one. However, if you'd like, you may choose to ask me three questions instead of making a wish."
The man thinks about the options for a moment and then says, "Wait. That's s**.... Why would anyone ask three questions? Couldn't I just wish for all the knowledge of the world? Is that against the rules or something?"
"No, it's not against the rules," replied the genie, "You could have made that wish 10 seconds ago, but you already used your three questions."
