The Best 58 Rumor Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Rumor jokes. There are some rumor speculation jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rumor carson puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Rumor Jokes and Puns
KKK Pastor
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
G.W.Bush - Dyslexic?
After many speech errors, mispronunciations, apparent Freudian slips, rumors began to swirl that President Bush may be dyslexic. At a press conference the following month, one journalist found the courage to ask "Mr. President, is there any truth the the current rumor that you are, in fact, dyslexic?" To which he emphatically replied, "ON!"
Rumors are that Harry Styles is BiSexual according to a recent interview
I hear they're going to change the name of the band to 'Both Directions'
There is rumor of a new "Amish Flu" out of Pennsylvania...
the symptoms are low grade fever, and you will get a little hoarse and Buggy.
Did you hear the rumor about the new save system for the ff7 remake?
Cloud Saves
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
I could tell you but I don't want to spread it.
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Nevermind... I wouldn't want to spread it
I'm not gay!
It's just a rumor started by all the guys I've slept with!
If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car...
Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
Despite the rumors, I actually don't have a problem with the new $20....
This country has a long history of trading black people for other goods.
Did you guys hear the rumor about the butter?
I don't know if I should spread it.
You can explore rumor scholars reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rumor merge dad jokes. There are also rumor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now
Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats.
I'm so sorry.
You know, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is pansexual.
He just doesn't see gender.
After 8 years Americans prove the rumor to be false.
They went black and now they are going back.
Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because..,
Amy Schumer was on it
Someone asked a ship captain if the rumor that he can't swim is true.
"Yes," he replied. "Can pilots fly?"
Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the roof of the Supreme Court building.
It's the highest court in the land.
There's a rumor going around that someone in my group of friends is gay...
I hope it's Josh, he's pretty cute.
Rumor has it Tom Hanks just signed a deal to star in a sequel to one of his greatest 80s blockbusters.
Big, if true.
Nobody knows how a Wookiee taste.
Rumor has it that at least one is Chewie.
Rumor has it the Amish and the Japanese are working on a new vehicle together...
...they plan on calling it the ToYoder.
Did you hear the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
Rumor has it Hollywood is casting Idris Elba for a Lord of the Rings reboot to promote diversity.
Idris is playing the Tolkien Black Guy
What do you call a fake room?
A rumor.
BUTTER
Have you heard the rumor about butter? Nevermind I probably shouldn't be spreading it.
Did you hear the rumor about the butter?
It's okay. I shouldn't spread it
There's a rumor going around at work that we're getting a new beverage dispenser.
Management hasn't confirmed yet, so it could just be water cooler gossip.
There's a rumor that if you play a Nickleback album backwards it plays satanic messages. But that's nothing....
... if you play it forwards it plays a Nickleback album.
Do you know where all the note 7's are?
Rumor has it, they were given to the US Army to use as grenades.
If Louis CK cant go back to comedy he could always pick up fishing.
Rumor has it he's a master baiter.
Rumored next year's updated iPhone SE would have borderless touchscreen...
You gonna have the best iPhone SE X so far.
Rumor has it that Caitlyn Jenner recently called the Olympic committee to report sexual harassment.
Turns out she was getting fondled by a male track star for the last 50 years.
There's a rumor going around that someone in our friend group is gay.
I hope is Dillon, he's really cute.
Rumor is that Toy Story 4 will focus on
Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called Woody and Buzz too.
Rumor has it that The Wall is now going to be twice as tall as before...
I just can't get over it.
Today I got called a conspiracy nut.
But I'm pretty sure that's just a rumor the government started to discredit me.
There's been a rumor going around recently that Rowan Atkinson can't please his wife
Apparently he missed her bean
There's a rumor that "Hooter's" is going to open a new division.
The new operation will sell basically the same food menu, and employ a similar staff and concept, but for home
delivery. They plan on calling the new operation "Knockers".
Rumor has it that distraught Chicago Bear's field goal kicker Cody Parker tried to end his life recently.
The bullet went wide right.
I heard a rumor that the next Legend of Zelda game is to be set in a Hyrule version of Spain. No one believes me
They don't expect a Spanish Link decision
I Heard Minnesota Residents Are Very Excited.
Rumor is going around that summer may fall on a weekend this year.
Liberace was great on the piano and all.
But crazy rumor had it that he sucked on the organ.
You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism?
Don't worry, it'll die down in around three years or so.
I told my daughter an interesting cat fact. If you drop any cat it will fall at 32-feet per second squared.
She immediately replied, "That's a rumor started by dogs."
So Mike Myers was sent to jail for cocaine charges
Rumor has it his fellow inmates have started calling him Austin Powders
Have you heard the rumor about peanut butter?
I don't want to spread it
In honor of Father's day, a dad joke
There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
He'll be Bach
Ever heard of the blind gynaecologists?
Rumor has it he could read lips.
Did you hear the rumor about butter ?
Well, I''m not going to spread it
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Rumor has it there is a homosexual in our office.
I hope it's Craig he's really cute.
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they're working on a self driving boat as well.
They're going to call it the iAye
There's a rumor that Trump is fleeing to Canada...
It isn't Trudeau.
Did you guys hear the latest rumor on butter?
Well.......... I'm not gonna be the one who spreads it!
Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess...
...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin decided to team up with NASA to fake the moon landing together, but to make it look as realistic as possible, they urged NASA to film on location.
Compliments of Neil De Grasse Tyson
Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman
The cast will have a FeMale.
After much research, it has finally been discovered why King Arther's knights were of the round table instead of the square table.
The knights that designed it were named Sir Cular and Sir Cumference. Rumor has it they were both obsessed with eating pi.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rumor controversy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working rumor inbreeding piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.