Ruining Jokes
68 ruining jokes and hilarious ruining puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ruining that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ruining Short Jokes
Short ruining jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ruining humour may include short ruined jokes also.
- Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!' and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?
- Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
- I helped my neighbour with something this morning and she said, ''I could marry you!'', I couldn't believe it You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return
- One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage I accidentally texted my wife I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.
- Wife: Stop pretending your life is a youtube video!! It's ruining our marriage! Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!
- My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space... It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.
- They currently think the person who ruined the Tour de France might have been German. Well, she did try to take down a whole race...
- I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.
- My wife accused me of ruining her birthday, but that's impossible I didn't even know it was her birthday!
- One of my friends told me I make people uncomfortable by often invading people's personal space I found this really hurtful, it completely ruined our bath
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Ruining One Liners
Which ruining one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ruining? I can suggest the ones about messing and ruin your life.
- Coronavirus ruining your plan for 2020? Save them for 2022! Cause 2022 is 2020 too.
- Why is the archaeologist sad? Because his career is in ruins.
- My roommate accused me of not respecting his boundaries.. Totally ruined our bath.
- What's a 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period.
- My friend decided to become an archeologist ...now his life is in ruins.
- Tell the Punchline first. How do you ruin a joke?
- Ever since I became an archeologist My career has been in ruins
- What ruined tiger Woods' golf career? His driving game.
- What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period.
- What's a 6.9? A good time ruined by a period.
- The United States ruined Hiroshima. Which American city did Japan ruin? Detroit
- My career is in ruins. It's great being an archaeologist.
- Drugs don't ruin your career Drug tests do
- Do you know what a 6.9 is? It's a good time ruined by a period.
- What's 6.9? A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Ruining Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about ruining you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean destruction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ruining pranks.
My therapist wanted to tell me about the 5 stages of grief. I said...
But nothing bad has happened! How DARE you imply that it has? I'm only paying half for this session. Thanks for ruining my good mood... Okay, tell me all about it.
Has anyone had a 6.9?
The only thing ruining it is the period
Nickelback walks into a bar...
Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny.
do you know what 6.9 is?
It's a period ruining a beautiful thing.
My wife accused me of ruining her birthday yesterday.
"b**...!" I said. "I didn't even know it was your birthday."
They say divorce is ruining marriage, but my wife's parents are still married...
...and so are my girlfriend's.
Four out of Five Baptist Divorcees Believe...........
g**... are ruining the sanctity of marriage!
I'm 35 and I was out to eat with my 18 year old girlfriend.
Everyone was giving us dirty looks. Eventually I got up and yelled at everyone "you are all ruining out 10th anniversary."
I used to be obsessed with The Hokey Pokey. It was ruining everything.
But then I turned my life around. Because that's what it's all about.
My friend and his girlfriend are looking for a girl to have a three-way with...
I told him to find someone whose parents are divorced. You want to find a girl who is comfortable ruining relationships.
A l**... walks into a restaurant
He sits down to have dinner. His oozing sores and appearance make him nervous. He later notices a woman look at him and throw up. He walks over to apologize for his appearance ruining her dinner. She says "oh, it's not you. It's the guy behind you dipping his shrimp in your neck."
What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?
George Lucas.
you really have to admire brits who voted to leave
They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves.
[DIRTY] Eye exam
Eye specialist: "Sir, you need to stop m**...."
Patient: " Oh my God, is it ruining my eyesight?"
Eye specialist: "No. It's disturbing the other patients."
Big IF
If I had a dollar for every gender, I'd only have 2 bucks and millions of i**... counterfeit dollar bills that only bring sadness and disappointment in the human race and are a scar on the face of earth, ruining and vandalising every-f**...-thing the human race has strived for.
I asked myself "What am i doing with my life?"
and my inner Conscience replied "Probably ruining it"
Ruining a photograph is not difficult.
I can do that with my eyes closed!
I went to the doctor today and he told me I needed to stop jacking off
Said it was "ruining his r**... exam".
Canadian geese
Ruining the good name of Canadians everywhere
What's wrong with the number 6.9?
There's a period ruining everything.
If you start to cut the grass at 9am in the morning on a Saturday, please stop
You're ruining my bagpipe practice
When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.
But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the f**..., Emily".
Referencing Dinosaurs
I asked her if my referencing of dinosaurs in every sentence was ruining our relationship.
She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but her silence said everything.
I saw my friend sat on the deck drinking some wine.
"Hey, buddy!" I shouted. "You're ruining my cards."
A lumberjack has s**... with a witch, gets his soul trapped inside a jigsaw, and seeks revenge by ruining her cheese company
*I Came. I Saw. I Con Curd.*
Marriages are like water heaters
They sit peacefully for years, until they explode in a fireball ruining everything you own
When miley cyrus gets n**... and licks a sledgehammer it's art and music
But when I do it I'm drunk and ruining the wedding
I'm gonna dress up as Forest gump tonight and go to the movies and make a a scene.
Then I will have to apologize for ruining their Black Panther party
A man walks into a bar,
he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.
Speaking as a 28 year old,
Millenials are ruining self deprecating humor.
The feds raided my kitchen remodeling business and sent the undocumented Mexicans back to Mexico. Trump said they were animals ruining the economy.
They were counter-fitters!
I love ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people
It never gets old.
nickelback walks into a bar.
there is no punchline bc ruining music isn't funny.
If you sit on your hand for 10 minutes before an exam...
will it feel like someone else is ruining your future.
I'm starting to get sick of suspenders.
It's ruining my overall enthusiasm.
My dad said cant you see your meme and vine references are ruining this family!
So I said I can't see I'm legally blind.
I hate double standards
When celebrities wear near see-through dresses, they are "chic" and " fashionable", but when I do it I'm "wasting cling wrap" and "ruining Christmas"
What begins with N and ends with S And is ruining America?
n**...
I just invented a new drinking game!
Every time one of my family mentions It's ruining your life I take a shot.
If you add coke to your whiskey, you're a novice drinker.
If you add whiskey to your coke, you're ruining good drugs.
Coronavirus is ruining my plans for 2020. But....
I have saved them for 2022, because 2022 is 2020 too.
What do Australia and The Spice Girls have in common?
The rest of us are trying our best but Victoria is ruining it for everyone.
During this lockdown I have explored a not so common hobby. It's called 'Changing people's lives'...
Mostly ruining. But it's a change for them.
Freudian slips
A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says "Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about Freudian slips? " "Well, I had the most amazing one last night". I was eating dinner with my wife, and I meant to say "would you please pass the salt dear?". But instead, I said "You g**... b**..., you're ruining my life".
I said to my wife You are my drug
She said: Oh wow is it because you can't get enough of me?
I replied: No because you cost so much money and you're ruining my life
I'm so sick of all the right vs left BS! it's all 'the left are so evil all they do is ..' or 'the right is so evil all they care about is ..'
First off, it's divisive and bringing out the worst in people. Completely ruining the country. Secondly, who the h**... really judges people based solely on which Twix they prefer?!
Jesus died for you sins!
Dumb a**... ruining the story by giving away major plot points. I was gonna read that book.
My wife is blaming me for ruining her birthday.
That's ridiculous, I didn't even know it was her birthday.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm sick and tired of my wife blowing everything out of proportion," he complains to the bartender. "She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business."
