The Best 71 Ruined Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ruined jokes. There are some ruined emma jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ruined destruct puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ruined Jokes and Puns

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

What's a 6.9?

A good time ruined by a period.

Ruined joke, What's a 6.9?

Everyone called me a pedophile

My girlfriend and I walked into a local bar last night and everyone started calling me a pedophile and a criminal only because i'm 43 and she's 20. It completely ruined our 10th anniversary

I went to the bar with my 21 year old girlfriend...

They called me a pedophile because I was 42. That totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.


Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "

I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene...

Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity.

Ruined joke, I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene...

What is a 6.9?

A good thing ruined by a period.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend and everyone was calling me a pedo because she is 21 and I'm 65...

Totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What is Six Point Nine?

A good time ruined by a period.

I went to a bar with my girlfriend last night and people kept calling me a pedophile, just because I'm 53 and she is 22...

...totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

You can explore ruined bday reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ruined spoil dad jokes. There are also ruined puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's a 6.9?

A great thing ruined by a period.

My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a 'paedo' and a 'cradle snatcher.' All because I'm a 52 year old man with a 21 year old girlfriend.

It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary meal.

I was expelled from school for masturbating in the showers

The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz

Went to dinner with my girlfriend tonight and got called a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 19.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

A man is staring into his whiskey

The barkeep asks if something's the matter.

"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."

"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.

"IT?" the customer says, " I work at Baskin Robbins."

Ruined joke, A man is staring into his whiskey

I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20. We were at a bar tonight and people kept giving us dirty looks.

Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.

My wife is like a drug to me

She ruined my life.

If I got a dollar everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

I'd have enough money to buy a house in the economy they ruined.


The United States ruined Hiroshima. Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

i took my 19 year old girlfriend to dinner and people called me pedophile...

completely ruined our 10th anniversary

I hate being the only drunk person at the party

It totally ruined my sons 6th birthday!

I walked past the pub the other day with my girlfriend, and they wouldn't stop calling me a paodophile just cause I'm 30 and she's 20

They completely ruined our 10th anniversary.

NSFW At the restaurant, everyone kept calling me a pedophile just because I'm 52 and my wife is 22......

It completely ruined our ten year anniversary dinner.

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

What's 6.9?

A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period

My girlfriend's father called me a pedophile just because she's 22 and I'm 36.

Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.

So I'm 30 and Charlotte is 21. Went out last night and we kept getting funny looks like I was some sort of peadophile. Does anyone else think that age is just a number?

It's completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

If this Hillary case blows up...

It will be the second time a weiner has ruined the presidency for a Clinton

What does Hillary Clinton's presidency and Bill Clinton's presidency have in common?

They were both ruined by weiners.

If I had a dollar every time a baby boomer insulted me...

I could afford a house in the economy they ruined

They say wanking with a dead arm is the best

But apparently I ruined that funeral

My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space...

It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

What is a 6.9

Another amazing thing ruined by a period

A Chinese family's dog ran away one night

...Thanksgiving was ruined.

I'm 36, and last night when I was out with my 19 year old girlfriend someone yelled "Paedophile!"

That really ruined our 10 year anniversary.

What is 6.9?

Something wonderful ruined by a period

My wife said to me the other day "For the last time I am on my period and I am NOT getting into the water to swim!"

She totally ruined my shark fishing trip.

AdBlock ruined my sex life

There are no more hot singles near me

My girlfriend said I ruined her birthday...

but that's not possible, I don't even know when it is!

One moment everything's fine, the next you've ruined everything.

You're like a boolean china shop.

I think Trojan is a bad name for a condom brand...

...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...

What is 6.9?

69 ruined by a period.

I am disgusted by the youth of today....

Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of abuse I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like PEADO NONCE KIDDY FIDDLER

It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.

I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

Apparently not.

Does anyone know how to avoid clicking jokes that have been ruined by putting the punchline in the title?

My girlfriend called me a peedo

I was having dinner with my girlfriend, and she called me a peedo. Sure, she's 18 and I'm 31, but that's not a big age gap right? Totally ruined our 10 year anniversary...

Two men on a train both have black eyes.

Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"

Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful busty girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"

Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you stupid bitch'."

My wife told me I ruined our vacation.

How's that possible when we never even went on vacation? I lost all the money gambling.

My wife isn't speaking to me anymore because apparently I ruined her birthday. I'm not sure how I did it.

I didn't even know it was her birthday!

A hurricane walks into a bar

The owner doesn't have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.

My 33 year old friend is dating a 19 year old.

They went out to dinner and kept getting harassed by the locals.

They we're shouting 'Peado' and 'Cradle snatcher' and all sorts of horrible names.

It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.

This one time, people completely overused a word and ruined it forever.

It was epic.

"You don't look a day over fifty!" I told the mother-in-law on her birthday.

Slightly ruined her 38th.

My 35 year old friend and his 22 year old girlfriend had their meal out completely ruined by strangers judging them for their age gap.

It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.

An Irishman and an Englishman find a lamp

Upon rubbing it a genie pops out and says For freeing me, I will grant you each one wish!"
The Englishman says "I love my country, but it's being ruined by foreigners. I wish a wall to be built around it so that no one else can get in."
The genie says, "Done. And you, Irishman?"
The Irishman looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Tell me more about this wall."
The genie responds, "It is twenty miles tall, a hundred feet thick and made of granite. Nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it with water."

Remember crying as a kid and your parents told you 'I'll give you something to cry about!'

and you expected a beating but instead they just ruined the housing market?

Yesterday, one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say, and quite frankly, it completely ruined our bath.

Yo mama so ugly

Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask

A fortune teller told me that someone is going to post this again tomorrow

So I proved her wrong and posted it today lol sorry man I ruined your joke

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone!

Eh?"

6.9 is my worst and least favorite number

That is because it is 69 that was ruined by a period

Do you know what a 6.9 is?

It's a good time ruined by a period.

2 guys in a bar chatting. The first says have you ever said something wrong by mistake , Guy 2 says like what?

Guy 1 says well, this one time I was at the airline desk and the woman behind the counter had HUGE breasts. I was supposed to ask for 2 tickets to Pittsburgh but I asked for 2 tickets to Titsburgh

Guy 2 says Oh yeah, I see what you mean. The other day I was having breakfast with my wife. I was supposed to ask her to pass the salt, but I said you've ruined my life bitch

What ruined Tiger Woods' golf career?

His driving game.

A man walks in to a bar and hangs his hat and coat on a peg

There's a dog sat in the corner which leaps up grabs the hat and rips it to pieces.

The man turns to the owner of the dog and says: Your dog's just ruined my hat

Dog owner: So what, I couldn't care less.

Man: I don't like your attitude!

Dog owner: It's not my attitude, it's your hat he chewed.

I left a bottle a whiskey outside last night and it got rained on.

It's not ruined but my spirits are dampened.

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

They currently think the person who ruined the Tour de France might have been German.

Well, she did try to take down a whole race...

I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.

She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

This year my wife was struggling for ideas on what to get me for my birthday.

I said that for my birthday, I would like a threesome. I've never had one before, and I would feel like less of a creep if she organized it.

She was surprisingly on-board. She said that she had a friend from college who would probably be up for it.

But I think I ruined the night when I asked her who she had in mind for the third person.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ruined crematorium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ruined rude piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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