Rugby Jokes

Following is our collection of Rugby funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best Rugby jokes

An Englishman walks into a bar...

There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

Britons vs. Americans

It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

It's School not Shooting Range.

What happens when you win a raffle twice that gave you five for the price of three on rugby tickets?

You won two, three for five six nations tickets

As a Brit, I can't get into American football

They rugby the wrong way

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Arab met over coffee.. a convention.

''I am happily married,'' said the Englishman, ''and have 10 children. One more and I shall have my own football team."

''I am happily married,'' said the Welshman ''and have 14 children. One more and I shall have my own Rugby team."

''I am also happily married,'' said the Arab ''and have 17 wives. One more and I shall have my own Golf course.''

Why are Jedi so bad at rugby?

Because there is no try.

Blonde joke in a bar..

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
"Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of us are blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking in a bar...

-You know - says the Englishman - I have 10 sons. That is almost a soccer team.

-That's nothing. - says the Irishman - I have 14 sons. That is almost a rugby team.

-Well - says the Scotsman - I have 17 daughters. That is almost a golf course.

My girlfriend is the best hooker in the country

All her fellow rugby players agree.

How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player?

Ask them if they play league.

Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin,

can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!

Just heard 80's singer Enya has bought hew own Rugby Union team.

Their next 3 fixtures are now:
Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A)

Considering the names of other similar sports...

somebody really dropped the ball when naming rugby.


It's Mum not Mom
It's crisps not chips
It's chips not fries
It's football not soccer
It's rugby not football
It's school not shooting range!

[rugby] Looks like Australia was in trouble there for a while...

But in the end they got off Scot-free.

"Dad, I'm going to play rugby with my friends ... you know where the ball inflator is?"

Dad: "Go to look for it ... it must be cooking."

Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby?

Because "There is no Try."

Why can't Jesus play rugby?

He won't support the hooker

I broke my collarbone the other day playing rugby.

It was worth a try.

Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup.

I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards.

People think I have ADHD and I really don't..

To prove it I'll give you 10 reasons why Football is better than rugby

Do you play rugby?

Because you look like a hooker

What rugby position does Stevie Wonder play?

Blindside flanker.

I was a little mad today. My flight went all the way across the Andes and all i got was a bag of peanuts to eat...

I heard another flight went only halfway over and they got a whole rugby player

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Rugby vs hockey

Soccer is running around for 90 minutes faking an injurie while rugby is running around for 90 minutes ignoring an injury

I've always thought : this is weird that Prince Harry loves rugby that much

I mean, his own mother was killed by a pillar

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I say she's not very good at rugby.

I'd like to see her try.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes