Rugby Jokes
45 rugby jokes and hilarious rugby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rugby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Look no further than our collection of funny rugby jokes! From flirty rugby puns to jokes about Welsh rugby, FIFA, ESPN and lacrosse, we've got something for everyone. Laugh away!
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Funniest Rugby Short Jokes
Short rugby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rugby humour may include short cricket jokes also.
- An Englishman walks into a bar... There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.
- TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV. It was *Ellen* or rugby.
- What happens when you win a raffle twice that gave you five for the price of three on rugby tickets? You won two, three for five six nations tickets
- Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin, can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!
- Considering the names of other similar sports... somebody really dropped the ball when naming rugby.
- Just heard 80's singer Enya has bought hew own Rugby Union team. Their next 3 fixtures are now:
Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A) - FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS.... It's Mum not Mom
It's crisps not chips
It's chips not fries
It's football not soccer
It's rugby not football
It's school not shooting range! - People think I have ADHD and I really don't.. To prove it I'll give you 10 reasons why Football is better than rugby
- "Dad, I'm going to play rugby with my friends ... you know where the ball inflator is?" Dad: "Go to look for it ... it must be cooking."
- [rugby] Looks like Australia was in trouble there for a while... But in the end they got off Scot-free.
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Rugby One Liners
Which rugby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rugby? I can suggest the ones about soccer and hockey.
- As a Brit, I can't get into American football They rugby the wrong way
- How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player? Ask them if they play league.
- I broke my collarbone the other day playing rugby. It was worth a try.
- What rugby position does Stevie Wonder play? Blindside flanker.
- England at the Rugby World Cup
- Why can't ever ever win when I play Rugby 08?
- So the English rugby team... Don't you hate it when the punchline is in the title?!
- An insect was playing football on a carpet You should've seen that rugby
- Hates Rugby Yoda Does
- Rugby players never score But they always try.
- At least the English rugby team doesn't have a flight home of shame...
- Why are Jedi so bad at rugby? Because there is no try.
- My girlfriend is the best h**... in the country All her fellow rugby players agree.
- Why can't Jesus play rugby? He won't support the h**...
- Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because "There is no Try."
England Rugby Jokes
Here is a list of funny england rugby jokes and even better england rugby puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards.
Comedy Rugby Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about rugby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tennis jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rugby pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bar Joke
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Britons vs. Americans
Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby
Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.
The kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"
To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are drinking in a bar...
-You know - says the Englishman - I have 10 sons. That is almost a soccer team.
-That's nothing. - says the Irishman - I have 14 sons. That is almost a rugby team.
-Well - says the Scotsman - I have 17 daughters. That is almost a golf course.
the rugby players without a referee weren't keeping up with the news
they kept asking "whose put-in?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you play rugby?
Because you look like a h**...
I was a little mad today. My flight went all the way across the Andes and all i got was a bag of peanuts to eat...
I heard another flight went only halfway over and they got a whole rugby player
I've always thought : this is weird that Prince Harry loves rugby that much
I mean, his own mother was killed by a pillar
