ruffles Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious ruffles puns

A piece of string walks into a bar...

And asks for a Beer.

The barman says: "I'm sorry we don't serve pieces of string".

So the piece of string walks outside, ruffles himself up, walks back into the bar and says: "Can I have a Beer please".

The barman replies: "Aren't you that piece of string I just asked to leave".

To which the piece of string replies: "No, I'm a frayed knot".

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A blonde is speeding down the highway...

When a female officer, another blonde, spots her and pulls her over. She asks the driver for her license...

Blonde driver says, "What's that?"

Blonde Officer : "Its a square with your face on it."

The blonde driver ruffles through her bag and after a few seconds produces a square make-up mirror and hands it to the blonde officer. The officer looks into the mirror and says to the driver, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? I woulda let you go!"

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A piece of string walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve no scrawny pieces of string in here."
The piece of string leaves, goes around back, ties himself up, ruffles his hair and re-enters the bar.
The bartender says, "Say aren't you that sorry piece of string that I told to beat it?"
The string replies, "frayed knot."

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A decides to go hunting

He asks his wife to pack his bag for him and fetch him the shotgun. A short while later his wife returns with the goods, telling him she will be going to town later on and the part ways.

Out in the woods the man suddenly spots the biggest buck he'd ever seen, he ruffles through his bag, looking for shells but when he takes his hand out: tampons... Furious he races home and waits for his wife. When she gets home he explains what happened. For a minute the wife looks puzzled, then with a shock tells him that she thought it was weird when she sneezed at the busstop and the guy behind her dropped dead.

Sorry for my english/wording. I hope it doenst ruin the joke!

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Why don't birds eat potato chips?

Because it RUFFLES their feathers.

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A string walks into a bar...

The tender goes 'Jackass, we don't serve strings here.'
The string leaves the bar and twists and pulls and deforms himself, ruffles his hair a bit and struts back in, incognito.
The tender goes 'Hey, aren't you that string I just kicked out?'
The string answers, 'Frayed knot.'

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Gliding Eagles

Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.

They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.

The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call speed!!'

The second eagle, calmly replies 'Trust me. You would be flying that fast too if your sphincter was on fire.'

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A piece of string...

walks in to a bar and orders a drink. The Bartender says "sorry we don't serve your kind in here".
The piece of string walks outside and ties himself in a knot and ruffles his hair up before walking back to the bar.
"Weren't you the string I just served?" said the bar man.
"No, I'm afraid not" replied the string.

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What kind of potato chips do dogs like best?

RUFFles

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What are dog's favorite chips?

RUFFles

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What are the most funny Ruffles jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Ruffles? Well, here are the best Ruffles dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Ruffles pick up lines to share with friends.

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