Ruff Jokes

93 ruff jokes and hilarious ruff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ruff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your dog chuckle with a selection of hilarious ruff jokes! From barks about dachshunds in the doghouse to puns the vets will love, get some tail-wagging laughs with these canine-themed jokes.

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jokes about ruff

Best Short Ruff Jokes

Short ruff puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ruff humour may include short rough jokes also.

  1. My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff.
  2. I wish I could speak to dogs... but it's okay because all I would get is a ruff translation
  3. You know why you should never ask a dog for an estimate on something? Because it's always ruff...
  4. I tried to start a doggy day care, but it failed within the first couple days. I only had a ruff idea of what I was doing.
  5. Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer... Ruff.
  6. Did you hear about the dog that writes books? Probably not, he's never been published.
    He only does ruff drafts.
  7. What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? "Today sure was ruff"
    Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P
  8. Ruff Policy My dog, Case, swallowed my proof of car insurance. It's really no big deal though. My insurance is just in Case.
  9. Why do dogs start barking instead of trying to solve the problem? Because solving problems are ruff.
  10. A dog walks into a bar... Bartender nods and says, "Hey dog, haven't seen you in a while, how are things going?"

    Dog looks at him sadly and replies, "Ruff."
Ruff joke, A dog walks into a bar...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ruff can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ruff puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Ruff One Liners

Which ruff one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ruff? I can suggest the ones about really rough and huff.

  1. How many times a day does a dog bark? About 100, but that's just a ruff estimate.
  2. So 2018 is the Chinese year of the dog... Looks like it's gonna be ruff
  3. What kind of papers do dogs write? A ruff draft.
  4. Did you hear about the dog from Compton? He lives in a ruff neighborhood.
  5. Our dog accidentally swallowed my wife's wedding ring. Now we have a diamond in the ruff.
  6. What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
  7. From my 9YO and 7YO: What did one dog say to the other? I've had a ruff day.
  8. What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? Ruff ruff
  9. No matter how good you treat your dog They will always say they have it ruff
  10. I enrolled into dog university... but i quit because the course was really ruff
  11. What do you call a group of dogs that never laugh at jokes? A ruff crowd
  12. A dog goes and licks a tree. The dog exclaims ruff...bark
  13. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? Ruff
  14. What does a dog call an unpaved road? Ruff.
  15. My dog ate my homework It was a ruff draft.

Dog Ruff Jokes

Here is a list of funny dog ruff jokes and even better dog ruff puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What sort of dog stops you from hearing? Ear pugs.
    They work ok but they go in a bit ruff.
  • My dog got in a fight today It was quite ruff
  • I tried to have a conversation with my dog It was ruff.
  • The life of a dog living on the street is... ...RUFF, RUFF-RUFF, RUFF!
  • I'm developing some flash cards to improve communication and understanding with my dog Not much to speak of yet, I just have a handful of ruff sketches.
  • What did the service dog say after a long tiring day It was a RUFF day!
  • What did the dog say about the United Airlines Employee? Ruff
  • Go on, ask your dog how's life. He'll most likely answer, „Ruff!
  • I tried to teach my old dog a new trick. It was really ruff.
  • I was slightly surprised to learn that dogs' tongues are smooth I thought they'd be ruff
Ruff joke, I was slightly surprised to learn that dogs' tongues are smooth

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Ruff Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about ruff you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean rude jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ruff prank.

My dog is into some wild stuff

Every time we have s**... she says "ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff"
I guess it's never enough

How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

Did you hear the one about the dog who was into s**...?

He liked it ruff.

Ruffled feathers ahead.

What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner.

What is a Golden retriever's favorite s**... position?

It doesn't really matter, as long as its ruff.

How do you think dog tastes?

Idk I think it would taste pretty ruff.

Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog

It was pretty *ruff*.

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?


Have you heard of the dog friendly bar?

I recommend avoiding it. It a ruff joint.

Why did the dog go to the hospital?

He was feeling ruff.

What did the dog say when the mailman asked "how was your day"?


As a bootleg vet, I get asked to turn cats into dogs

it's a ruff job.

Did you see that video about dogs doing bsdm?

They're really going ruff.

How does s**... Doo like his s**...?

No, d**... you idiot.

Why is my wife like a chihuahua in bed?

Because she's a little ruff

How do dogs play?


Dog vet

What did the dog vets say about the war
It was ruff

I asked my dog how he likes to have s**.... His response?

Ruff. What else would he say

What should you do if you wanna talk to a Ruff Ryder on the internet?


I make a living by sending my talking dog out to the streets to beg for change.

Today, he's come home empty handed. I asked why, but all he says is, "ruff ruff, grrrRRrRrrrr".
I don't get it, he was talking when I sent him out this morning and now he makes no cents.

I can always hear my roomate bark while having s**...

He likes it ruff

Why did the sailors dog hide below deck?

Because it was afraid if ruff seas.

Did you hear about the canine marriage consultant?

He gets paid $80 an hour to say that's ruff

I'm editting my manuscript on dog languages...

it's a ruff draft.

What did the dog say during the Great Depression?

These are ruff times

I hired a dog landscaper the other day.

I guess you can say he was "Ruff around the hedges".

A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!

The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .

Why did the dog commit s**...?

He had a ruff life.

How do dogs like their s**...?

I'm so sorry.

A dog's life isn't easy

It's actually pretty ruff

Three mice

Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"

My dog always came back bruised and beaten after having s**... time with his girlfriend. I finally asked him about how it went.

He said: "ruff".

In Tribute

Boy: I'll bet you a dollar my dog can talk
Man: you're on
Boy: how does sandpaper feel?
Dog: Ruff!
Boy: what's on top of a house?
Dog: Roof!
Boy: who's the greatest ballplayer ever?
Dog: Ruth!
Man: come on! I ain't payin' for that, get out of here!
* Boy and dog walk away *
Dog to boy: should I have said Hank Aaron?

Having puppies

**Three dogs are at the vet's. Talking dog talk.**
Rover, "Why are you guys here?"
Sparky, "I been peeing all over the house. I'm going to get my nuts cut off." Ruff.
Barky, "I growl at everything. I'm going to get my nuts cut off. Ruff.
How about you Rover?"
Rover, "Well, my mistress was getting out of the shower yesterday, I love her *sooo* much. *Ah-Rooo*. Seeing her n**..., bent over drying her foot, well, I jumped on. "
The other two - "So you're getting you nuts cut off too?"
Rover, "h**... no! I'm getting my nails trimmed."

A man and a dog walk into a bar

Both get up on stools and the bartender says "sorry no dogs"
"But my dog can talk"
Bartender: "Prove it"
"Fido, what is the top part of a house called"
Dog: "Roof, roof"
Bartender (annoyed): "You're going to have to do better than that"
"Fido, what is the high grassy part of a golf course called?"
Dog: "Ruff, ruff"
Bartender (more annoyed): "I'll give you one last chance before I throw you out"
"Fido, who is the greatest baseball player of all time"
Dog: "Ruth, ruth"
Bartender throws the both of them out into the street.
Dog: "Maybe I should have said Dimaggio"

Ruff joke, A man and a dog walk into a bar

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ruff jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.