Rubbish Jokes
64 rubbish jokes and hilarious rubbish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rubbish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this article to get some laughs from some of the worst jokes imaginable. Learn how to use rubbihs items such as cheese, christmas, bin, skip, cracker, xmas, pirate, junk and debris to minimize the bad humor while still having a great time.
Funniest Rubbish Short Jokes
Short rubbish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rubbish humour may include short junk jokes also.
- I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants. The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!
- Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better. But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.
- I bought Bonnie Tyler's car recently on ebay, but it's rubbish... Every now and then it falls apart
- "Will I be ok doc?" "I doubt it. mercury is in Uranus now."
"I don't believe in that astrology rubbish."
"Nor do I !! My thermometer just broke." - I went round MC Hammer's house the other day. It was rubbish!!
He wouldn't let me touch anything. - Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
- One mans trash... "One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is a fantastic Idiom.
But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted. - It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology. My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.
Share These Rubbish Jokes With Friends
Rubbish One Liners
Which rubbish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rubbish? I can suggest the ones about garbage and rubble.
- I went to a child psychologist once. He was rubbish. He was only seven.
- I used to be a rubbish collector. Now I'm pretty good.
- Atheism has a rubbish business model It's non-prophet.
- Doesn't matter how lit you are... Rubbish is litter.
- It was my birthday yesterday and I got given a rubbish thesaurus It was rubbish
- If self-depreciation was a sport... I'd probably be pretty rubbish at that too.
- I got a rubbish thesaurus for my birthday thr other day It was rubbish.
- Belgian Waffle Today I made a Belgian Waffle, and a Frenchman talk rubbish.
- What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies? A rubbish truck.
- I spent ages trying to think of a decent bin pun. Turns out, they were all rubbish
- I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory It was pretty rubbish.
- I took my orchestra onto a train one day The conductor was rubbish
- I heard on the news that littering is at an all time high What a load of rubbish.
- Why are horse-drawn carriages so unpopular? 'Cause horses are rubbish at drawing
- Who's the leader of the rubbish army? General Waste.
Rubbish Bin Jokes
Here is a list of funny rubbish bin jokes and even better rubbish bin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the refuse collector in pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish? He was Bin Laden.
- The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag.
- Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin, can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!
- My girlfriend said she'd dump me if I didn't eat everything from her bin. I've had enough of her rubbish.
- Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins. - My neighbours should stop hating me whenever I wheel my rubbish bin to the front of my house. I'm just putting it out there.
- As the recruitment manager for a large firm, I don't like to hire unlucky people So I throw every second job application I receive into the rubbish bin
- You call a trash can a bin? That's rubbish.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Rubbish Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about rubbish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nonsense jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rubbish pranks.
I once bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav.
It was rubbish. Kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart.
My rubbish dog joke.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door
>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"
>"I bin Hong Kong!"
>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"
>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"
Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!
"That is him." I said to my wife in the shopping centre.
"That's Kenny Baker, the actor who played R2D2 in Star Wars."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "It doesn't look like him, go on over and ask."
A couple of minutes later I walked back over to her. "Well, what did he say?"
"Nothing." I said. "It's a rubbish bin."
My wife and I were having an argument the other day.
She started name calling and not fighting fair, so I responded with "You're rubbish in bed" among other things.
A few hours later at work, I felt terrible about what i had said, so I called her to apologize and I asked her, "What are you doing?"
And she said, "I'm in bed."
So i said, "What are you doing this late in bed?"
And she said, "Getting a second opinion."
I tried my hand at being a professional scarecrow for a short while...
The pay was rubbish, even though I was out standing in my field.
"You treat me like rubbish!" said my wife.
"No, I don't," I replied. "I actually take the rubbish out sometimes."
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish
Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out
I was in the betting shop
and my friend told me to put all my money on a horse named 'Landfill'. Turns out it was a rubbish tip.
My friend asked me to bet all my money on a horse called 'Landfill.'
Turned out to be a rubbish tip.
My wife and I were having an argument the other day. She started name calling and not fighting fair, so I responded with "You're rubbish in bed" among other things.
A Few Hours Later At Work, I Felt Terrible About What I Had Said, So I Called Her To Apologize And I Asked Her, "What Are You Doing?"
And She Said, "I'm In Bed."
So I Said, "What Are You Doing This Late In Bed?"
And She Said, "I am doing a survey!"
During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"
"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".
"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"
"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up.
I was at the bus stop the other day when I saw a man with only one leg
I looked at his one leg, and I looked at my two. I looked back at his one leg and I thought, he must be rubbish at tabletennis
