The Best 50 Rubbish Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rubbish jokes. There are some rubbish minimize jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rubbish dumpster puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Rubbish Jokes and Puns

I once bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav.

It was rubbish. Kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart.

Did you hear about the refuse collector in Pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish?

He was Bin Laden.

My rubbish dog joke.

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'

A rubbish collector knocks on the door of a house that didn't leave their bin outside and an Asian man answers the door

>"Excuse me mate, where's ya bin?"

>"I bin Hong Kong!"

>"No where's ya wheelie bin?"

>"I wheelie bin Hong Kong!"

Sorry it's an old joke I heard as a kid!

jokes about rubbish

Why are horse-drawn carriages so unpopular?

'Cause horses are rubbish at drawing


Is it just me or is solipsism just a load of rubbish?

Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

Rubbish joke, Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but t

Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin,

can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!

I heard on the news that littering is at an all time high

What a load of rubbish.

The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins.

In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag.

I went to a child psychologist once.

He was rubbish. He was only seven.

You can explore rubbish debris reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rubbish harbour dad jokes. There are also rubbish puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I used to be a rubbish collector.

Now I'm pretty good.

One mans trash...

"One man's rubbish is another man's treasure" is a fantastic Idiom.

But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted.

I took my orchestra onto a train one day

The conductor was rubbish

I told my girlfriend that she was rubbish in the cowgirl position.

"If you're going to insult me, I'll just pack my bags and leave. How does that sound to you?" she yelled.

"Honey," I said. "You can run, but you can't ride."

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Rubbish joke, I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny an

"That is him." I said to my wife in the shopping centre.

"That's Kenny Baker, the actor who played R2D2 in Star Wars."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "It doesn't look like him, go on over and ask."

A couple of minutes later I walked back over to her. "Well, what did he say?"

"Nothing." I said. "It's a rubbish bin."

Who's the leader of the rubbish army?

General Waste.

My wife and I were having an argument the other day.

She started name calling and not fighting fair, so I responded with "You're rubbish in bed" among other things.

A few hours later at work, I felt terrible about what i had said, so I called her to apologize and I asked her, "What are you doing?"

And she said, "I'm in bed."

So i said, "What are you doing this late in bed?"

And she said, "Getting a second opinion."


People say star signs are a load of rubbish, but it's not true. My gran was a cancer, which is ironic considering how she died....

Eaten by a giant crab.

If self-depreciation was a sport...

I'd probably be pretty rubbish at that too.

My neighbour hosted a party and the theme was The Matrix. My girlfriend got home when it was finished and said it was rubbish.

Looks like I dodged a bullet with that one.

Quantum Computers are rubbish

When you want a result they collapse

Doesn't matter how lit you are...

Rubbish is litter.

My girlfriend said she'd dump me if I didn't eat everything from her bin.

I've had enough of her rubbish.

I tried my hand at being a professional scarecrow for a short while...

The pay was rubbish, even though I was out standing in my field.

Rubbish joke, I tried my hand at being a professional scarecrow for a short while...

Differences between Americans and British dialect.

British: Rubbish.
American: Garbage.

British: nappy.
American: diper.

British: school.
American: shooting range.

I went round MC Hammer's house the other day.

It was rubbish!!

He wouldn't let me touch anything.

My neighbours should stop hating me whenever I wheel my rubbish bin to the front of my house.

I'm just putting it out there.


I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory

It was pretty rubbish.

"You treat me like rubbish!" said my wife.

"No, I don't," I replied. "I actually take the rubbish out sometimes."

My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Im so smart for thinking of this

One guy says to another: Hey, did you know, there's a Middle Eastern country on the Mediterranean Sea, and it's regarded by Jews, Christians and Muslims as the biblical Holy Land!

The other guy says: I don't believe you, you're talking rubbish.

So the first guy says: No, it isreal!

I spent ages trying to think of a decent bin pun.

Turns out, they were all rubbish


It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology.

My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.

I got a rubbish thesaurus for my birthday thr other day

It was rubbish.

I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish

Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out

When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.

Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

I bought Bonnie Tyler's car recently on ebay, but it's rubbish...

Every now and then it falls apart

Belgian Waffle

Today I made a Belgian Waffle, and a Frenchman talk rubbish.

I was in the betting shop

and my friend told me to put all my money on a horse named 'Landfill'. Turns out it was a rubbish tip.

My friend asked me to bet all my money on a horse called 'Landfill.'

Turned out to be a rubbish tip.

My wife and I were having an argument the other day. She started name calling and not fighting fair, so I responded with "You're rubbish in bed" among other things.

A Few Hours Later At Work, I Felt Terrible About What I Had Said, So I Called Her To Apologize And I Asked Her, "What Are You Doing?"
And She Said, "I'm In Bed."

So I Said, "What Are You Doing This Late In Bed?"
And She Said, "I am doing a survey!"

What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies?

A rubbish truck.

Atheism has a rubbish business model

It's non-prophet.

Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.

But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

It was my birthday yesterday and I got given a rubbish thesaurus

It was rubbish

"Will I be ok doc?"

"I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

"I don't believe in that astrology rubbish."

"Nor do I !! My thermometer just broke."

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"

"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".

"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"

"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rubbish litter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rubbish accommodation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes