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Royce Jokes

26 royce jokes and hilarious royce puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about royce that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the hilarious jokes of Royce Elliott, a Rolls Royce enthusiast. Filled with puns and quips about Royce, Rolls Royce, Cadillac, and Benz, you won't want to miss out on these side-splitting laughs. So don't miss out, read Royce Jokes today!

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Funniest Royce Short Jokes

Short royce jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The royce humour may include short moles jokes also.

  1. I asked my sister how her blind date went "Oh it was terrible" she said, "He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."
    "So what's so bad about *that*?" I asked.
    Apparently he was the original owner.
  2. My new Rolls Royce I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce, but the budget didn't cover a driver.
    So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it.
  3. If Royce Da 5'9 gave up his career in rapping.. He'd become Royce Da 9-5.
    ^^^^Mixed
    ^^^^up
    ^^^^the
    ^^^^numbers
    ^^^^last
    ^^^^time.
  4. Rolls-Royce and Apple are teaming up to bring us the next generation of automobiles. The iRolls
  5. My boss just bought a brand new Rolls-Royce... One day... One day, if I keep working just as hard, he'll be able to buy another one.

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Royce One Liners

Which royce one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with royce? I can suggest the ones about rolls royce and limo.

  1. What do you call a laughing car? A Rofls-Royce
  2. What kind of car does a rich baker drive? A Rolls-Royce.
  3. What does a rich fat person drive? A Rolls Royce.
  4. What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
    A Moles Royce.
  5. What kind of car does a 700-pound man drive? A Rolls-Royce.
  6. What Car Does God Drive? Rolls-Royce Holy Ghost
  7. What do you call a fat woman with massive pillowy rolls? A rolls royce

Royce joke, What do you call a fat woman with massive pillowy rolls?

Hilarious Royce Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about royce you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make royce pranks.

3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven

The angel at the gate asks the first man
"how many times did you cheat on your wife?" "10 times" the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to a 2010 Toyota Camry "this is how you will drive around heaven".
The second man says he cheated on his wife 5 times, the angel gives him a 2018 Lexus and let's him in.
The third man says he never cheated on his wife, he gets a 2021 Rolls Royce.

A few days later the 3 men meet and the man in the Rolls Royce is very sad, the men ask him what's wrong, he replys "I just saw my wife riding around on a scooter.

A billionaire goes for a drive

... and his Rolls Royce pulls up next to a stoplight, and he notices someone on the side of the road picking grass and eating it. He orders his driver to turn right, and park on the side of the road next to the man. He exits the vehicle and walks up to the man, and asks him, "sir, why are you eating grass?" The man says, "I am hungry, and have no money to eat with, so all I have to eat is grass." The billionaire says to the man, "well then, come with me to my mansion and I'll feed you." The man replies with, "I have children, and a wife." The billionaire replies with, "that's fine, bring them too." The man replies with, "we also live with my brother in law, his wife, and his kids." The billionaire replies, "Bring them all, I'll send to have them picked up." The man asks the billionaire, "why sir are you so kind to us?" The billionaire replies with, "my last lawn crew quit, and the grass in the front acre is nearly 2ft tall."

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.
The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"
The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."
The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"
The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her.
They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out.
They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.
When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question.
We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire.
Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"
The woman replies,
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and
expect it to be there when I return?"

How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?
"He was the original owner!"

A high-end lawyer is leaving his car when he gets sideswiped by a passing truck.

He calls the cops and he start complaining to them about how the truck had ruin his beautiful Roles Royce. The cop looks at him and sneers, you lawyers, always so concerned about your money. You are so busy worrying about your car that you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing.
The lawyer looks at his missing arm in horror and screams, oh no, my Rolex!!

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend........

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.
When the girl got back from the date she said "That was the worst night of my life!"
"Why is that?" her mom asked.
"He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!"
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"He's the original owner mom!"

"How was your blind date?"

A college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" The roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

Abby's roommate had a blind date.

"How did it go?" Abby asked her.
"Terrible!"she answered. "He showed up in a 1950 Rolls Royce."
"Wow!" remarked Abby. "That's a very expensive car. He must be very rich. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

A snail hits the lotto and goes into a Rolls Royce dealership and orders his car to have a giant "S" painted on the doors.

When asked why he wanted it, he replied "I want everyone who sees me to say 'look at that S car go!'"

Smart blonde joke

Whoah, I know. Here it is: so a blonde walks into a bank and asked to borrow a $500 loan. The bank needs some colleratal so she gives the bank her Rolls Royce. After a couple of months she comes back and promptly pays the loan back. The bank clerk asked why she borrowed the money if she could pay it back easily.
She said, "cheapest parking in San Francisco."

Bob is walking down the street when he says his old friend John passing in a brand new Rolls Royce

On seeing his old friend, John pulls over to say hello.
Bob sees the Rolls Royce and exclaims," Wow, how did you get the great car?"
John says," So I was going out for a walk on a sunny afternoon when a beautiful woman pulled over in this Rolls Royce and asked if I wanted a lift, so I got in.
She drove for a while before she asked me to kiss her, so I did.
We drove for a bit more, then suddenly she pulled over, went to the back seat, took off all her clothes except for her silk knickers
She said," Take anything you want from me"
I knew the knickers would never fit me, so I took the car."

A rich Arab student e-mails his dad...

A rich Arab student e-mails his dad and says:
Dear Father,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Rolls Royce Phantom when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Hassan.
A day later his father replies:
Dear Hassan,
Fifty million euros have been transferred to your account, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train too.
Love you, Dad.

Genius!

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?" The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

Three boys are sitting across from an exotic car dealership...

Admiring the cars, when a genie pops out of the sewer and offers them each a wish.
The first boy says, "I want a Porsche!"
The genie nods and a brand new Porsche appears in the road. The kid gets in and drives off.
The second boy says, "I want a Rolls Royce!"
Again, the genie nods and a shiny new Rolls appears. The kid jumps in the car and drives away.
The last kid thinks about it for a minute. He finally looks up and says, "I want my body entirely covered in hair."
The genie nods and every inch of the kid is suddenly covered in hair.
Feeling a bit confused by the last request, the genie asks the kid, "Why do you want to be covered in hair?"
The kid holds his hands up with his fingers making a small circle. "Well, my sister only has a patch this big, and she has both of those cars!"

The VW Genie

A man was driving his brand new Rolls Royce. At the signal this beaten up Beetle stops next to him, and tells him "Nice car! I'm willing to swap you with my car for a $1,000,000"
The rich guy looks at him and says "why would I want your car?"
At this point the VW's driver rubs the steering wheel and out comes a genie. He tells him "I'd like to have some tea". In a flash it's in his hand.
The Rolls' owner goes berserk, gives him the money and the Rolls, and takes the Beetle.
He drives up to his mansion, and everybody is wondering why he'd be driving a car like that. Proudly, he rubs the steering wheel, and out comes the genie. He tells him "I want a million dollars in cash!"
The genie says "Sorry, sir. I just do tea & coffee"

Royce joke, The VW Genie