Row Jokes

130 row jokes and hilarious row puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about row that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Need a laugh? Read this article and get a chuckle out of its collection of original jokes related to topics such as death row, front row, row boat, bot, shore, and array. Laugh out loud at the comedic puns and humorous observations.

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Funniest Row Short Jokes

Short row jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The row humour may include short bot jokes also.

  1. I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
  2. Do you know how to confuse a coal miner? Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.
  3. A guard asks a woman on death row what she'd like for her final meal. idk, what do you want?
  4. I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general.
  5. At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
  6. Girls say I'm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.
  7. My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard... It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!
  8. A woman on death row is asked what she would like for her last meal. I dunno, what do you want?
  9. I'm happy to announce that I've been sober for 40 days! Not in a row or anything. Just total.
  10. A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, "I don't know, what do you want to eat?"

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Row One Liners

Which row one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with row? I can suggest the ones about shore and array.

  1. What has 80 feet, 137 teeth and $72 in cash? The front row of a Trump rally
  2. What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
  3. What has 72 legs and 26 teeth? The first row of a country concert.
  4. I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's 7 years in a row now
  5. Amish men can't motorboat their wives. They can only row boat them.
  6. When rowing a boat, do you use the left paddle or the right paddle? Either oar.
  7. Could Jennifer or Courtney Row? No, but Lisa Kudrow.
  8. If your rowing boat turns upside down, you can wear it as a hat.. It's capsized.
  9. Here I am: 100 days sober Not in a row or anything, just total.
  10. If my wife was on Death Row her last meal would be I don't know. What do you feel like?
  11. What do you call a row of bunnies going backwards? A receding hare line.
  12. Apparently the British hated rows, which was why they columnised so many places
  13. What's the cuban national anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."
  14. Why did the producer of Dirty Jobs get fired? He was a Mike Rowe manager.
  15. What has 108 legs and 10 teeth? The front row at any country concert.

Front Row Jokes

Here is a list of funny front row jokes and even better front row puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth? The front row of a Ted Nugent concert.
  • What has 50 feet and 9 teeth? Front row at a Kid Rock concert.
  • What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth? The front row at a NASCAR race.
  • What has 40 feet and 20 teeth? The front row at a Garth Brooks concert.
  • Whats got 100 Legs and no teeth? The front row at a barry manilow concert.
  • What has 100 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Cliff Richard concert.
  • Nobody ever sits in the front row of chairs in the theatre. Theatres should just start with the second row instead.
  • A man missing an arm is sitting in the front row I went up and asked him "what happened to your arm?" He said he got the seat half off.
  • I walked into a movie and sat in the front row But the elderly couple behind me called the cops on some "burgler" and wouldn't shut up about it.
  • I never sit in the front rows at the movies I always like to see the big picture.

Row Boat Jokes

Here is a list of funny row boat jokes and even better row boat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I can row a boat. Canoe?
  • I had a row with my boss at lunchtime Perks of working near a boating lake
  • My Devil worshipping brother just got a new row boat... He christened it sail Hatin'
  • Time magazine just contracted me to row a boat for their next cover photo. I'm Time's new Row-man
  • What do vaginas and row boats have in common? Both can't get anywhere without a few strokes
  • The New York Times just contracted me to row a boat for a upcoming story. I'm the Times's new Row-man
  • Row row row your boat Roll roll roll your joint. Twist it at the end. Take a puff and that's enough. Now pass it to a friend.
  • [Unashamed Dad Joke] What do you call an android that was designed specifically to move a small wooden boat around? A row-bot.
  • I looked up the results of a french rowing race Turns out my favorite boat got sank.
  • What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore? Row v. Wade

Death Row Jokes

Here is a list of funny death row jokes and even better death row puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • On Death Row Guard: what do you want for your last meal?
    Woman prisoner: I don't know, what do you want?
  • Inmates on death row should have prison ID's ending in .EXE Because, eventually, they are all executable.
  • A paralyzed man got a new set of legs from a death row inmate. Don't worry, the other guy got the chair.
  • A woman was on death row. The conversation went like this:
    Warden: "What do you want for your last meal?"
    Woman: "I don't know. What do you want?"
  • What does a death row inmate get after their last meal? Their just desserts.
  • Two death row inmates who hate each other can be put together in the same cell because they'll finish each other's sentences.
  • Being a good Death Row guard takes a lot things but it really comes down to the execution
  • After being on death row for years, my executioner walked in. Curious, I asked him what his name was. He said his friends call him Smalls.
  • If I were on Death Row, my last meal request would be a clean burger from McDonald's I'd be kept alive forever.
  • Officials recently stated that inmates on death row will no longer be granted a final meal Just desserts.

Humorous Row Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about row you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean queue jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make row pranks.

Stalin is giving a speech, and someone sneezes.

Stalin looks up from his notes and says, "Who sneezed?" No-one says anything.
Stalin has the first row taken away by KGB to be shot. "Who sneezed?" he asks again. No-one says anything. He has the second row of the audience taken away by the KGB to be shot.
"Comrade Stalin, I sneezed!" Says a man in the third row.
Stalin looks at the man and says; "Bless you."

Two prisoners are on death row

And the day of their execution has come.
The warden turns the first prisoner and asks, "Any last requests?"
"I'd really like to hear the Macarena one last time," he replies.
The warden nods. "Very well. And you?"
he asks the second prisoner.
"Kill me first."

How to use and 5 times in a row grammatically

A man owned a store called This And That and hired another man to make a sign for it.
When it was finished the owner inspected the work.
He discovered that the spaces were wrong so he said, The space between This and And and And and That is different. Please fix it

Guy goes to a ballgame...

...finds his seat and sees an elderly fellow in the next row with an empty seat beside him. They get to chatting and he asks if the seat is taken:
"Not anymore. My wife and I used to go to all the games together, but she died. This is the first game I've been to since!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Couldn't you give the ticket to a friend, or a family member?"
"Nah. They're all at the f**...."

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

My Favorite Stalin Joke

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says,
"Bless you, Comrade!"

What has 200 legs and four p**... hair?

The first row at a Justin Bieber concert.

Maria the Catholic

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's f**..., the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together.
" Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

Sandra, a devout Catholic, got married and had 11 children.

After her first husband died, she remarried and had 11 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Sandra also passed away.
At Sandra's f**..., the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage.

He whispers to the usher "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat and I'll give you a handsome tip". The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers "The wife did it".

A man stands at a row of crowded urinals...

Into the silence, he says "So... I guess this is where the d**... hang out."

An American, an Frenchman, an Israeli, a Spaniard, and a German go to see a seminar

They show up late, and can only find seats in the back row. When the presenter notices them come in and take seats in the very back, he shouts to them, "Can you guys see me back there?"
They answered back in order, "Yes" "Oui" "Ken" "Si" "Ja"

Library s**...

A man goes to the library and asks if they have a book on how to commit s**....
The librarian says "Yeh, I think we do, it should be at the back row on the top shelf".
The man goes and looks, even climbs a ladder to look at the top but still can't find it.
"Still no luck" says the man.
The librarian replies "Oh, the last person who borrowed it mustn't have brought it back"

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

A man is returning to his seat in the movie theater after visiting the toilets.

"Excuse me," he says to the lady sitting beside the aisle, "Did I step on your foot when I went out?"
"Yes you did," says the lady angrily.
"Oh good," says the man, "that means I'm in the right row."

Four nuns about to take their vows..

Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.
Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"
"We're from the groom's family."

Twelve Italian priests...

...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally n**..., in a garden while a s**..., beautiful, big breasted, n**... model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
As he bent over to pick it up… all the other bells started to ring!

Laughing Dog

A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it.
When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said:
" I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film.
"So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"

Two blondes were driving along in a car...

...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".

Interruption of the speech of Comrade Stalin

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes.
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.)
"First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Long, loud applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) ...
A dejected voice in the back: "It was me" (Sobs.)
Stalin leans forward: "Bless you, comrade!"
Thanks to allrussias for glorious joke!

A guy walks in a library:

- Do you have motivational books here?
- Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
- Do you have any books closer?"

A lawyer is meeting the devil to make a deal

... and says, "Alright, I want to win my next 10 cases in a row, for settlements of no less than $1 million!"
The Devil replies, "Ok mister lawyer, but in return, I demand the souls of your wife and child for 1000 years!"
The lawyer scratches his head and says, "I don't get it, where's the catch?"
From my dad.

What is the name of the elderly man that won three bingos in a row?

j**... hat-trick ...

A woman was sitting front row at her husbands f**...

A man walks up and says mind if I say a word?
She responds yes.
The man walks up to the podium and says Plethora
As he's walking back down the aisle, the woman stops him and says thanks, that means a lot

An Englishman, a Frenchman, A Spaniard and a German go to the theater to watch a mime show.

The men have bad eyesight so they are squinting through the whole performance.
The mime sees their problem and stops the show and moves them to the front row. He then ask, "Can you see me now?"
The men Respond:

Dwarf enters the library

"One book on discrimination of dwarves, please." - says the dwarf
"Third row..." - replies the librarian - "top shelf."

A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.

Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look s**.... If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a**...!

Stalin is giving a speech.

And someone sneezes.
Stalin: Who sneezed?
No answer.
Stalin: First row outside.
Stalin: Who sneezed?
No answer.
Stalin: Second row outside.
Stalin: Who sneezed?
Attendee, crying: "I SNEEZED!"
Stalin: Bless you!

A guy goes into a parachute store.....

and sees a row of parachutes selling for $200 and another row of parachutes selling for $6,000. Confused, he asks a salesman what the $200 rigs were for. The salesman says they were for parachuting. More confused, he asked the salesman what the $6,000 rigs were for. The salesman said they were for parachuting twice.

This will be the fifth year in a row that my in-laws will come over for Christmas...

I think this time, we should let them in...

So a man h**... to a s**... club

He sits down in the front row. A man sits behind him.
A girl comes out and starts dancing. Both of the men cheer.
She takes off her top. Both men cheer.
She takes off her bottom.Only the man in the front cheers.
Curious the man in front turns around and asks
Where'd all the enthusiasm go.
The man response. "all over your back"

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

A prisoner who is on death row has been sentenced to death by hanging and is standing on the platform being prepped for execution…

Just before the execution takes place, the prison guard looks at the prisoner and asked them if they had any last words.
The prisoner then says Man, my neck is killing me today!

What's the difference between a magician and a row of showgirls?

One has an array of cunning stunts............

Did you hear the one about all the people standing in a row who hit each other?

...That was the punchline.

What do you call three suns in a row?

A solar ellipses

You can say was five times in a row and have it still be grammatically correct.

Before was was was, was was is.

What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row?

A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!

We went to see a movie the other night.

I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do, as it feels a little roomier.
Just as the movie was about to start, a blonde from the centre of the row got up and started making her way out, saying, "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, got to hurry, oops, excuse me."
By the time she got to me, I was pretty annoyed with her and asked, "Could you have not done this a little earlier?"
"No", she whispered loudly to me, "The 'TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE' message just came up on the screen, and mine is in the car."

When you enter a public restroom, what do you call the fifth sink in the row?

I came up with this last night, while tired. Forgive me.

What do you call a row of women all arranged in order of attractiveness? [oc]

A broad spectrum.

What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

What's the name for a Middle Eastern fowl that can bowl three strikes in a row?

Turkey turkey turkey

What do you call a row of trucks covered in mozzarella?

A cheesy pickup line

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

Old Russian man buys a newspaper.

He looks at the front page, and tosses it away. The next day, he buys a newspaper, looks at the front page, then tosses it away. The 3rd day in a row, he buys a newspaper looks at the front page, and again, tosses it away. This time the newspaper stand attendant asks him why he tossed the newspaper away after just looking at the front page. The old man says, I'm looking for an obituary. The newspaper stand attendant says, everyone knows the obituaries are not on the front page. There old man replies, the one I'm looking for will be.

Last request

The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.
As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.
The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."

Stalin is delivering a speech to the Party

Suddenly someone sneezes.
- Who's just sneezed?
No answer.
- Execute the first row. Who's sneezed, I ask you?
No answer.
- Execute the second row. So who of you has just sneezed?
Finally a shaking man raises and utters feebly:
- It's me, Comrade Stalin.
- Bless you! Now, back to the topic...

The first female president is being sworn in.

Her Jewish mother is sitting in the second row next to a Supreme Court Justice, watching. The judge leans over and says, "Madam, you must be VERY proud."
The mother says, "Well, you see that girl with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor."

A blonde is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a row boat in the middle of a dirt field.

She pulls over, jumps out of her car and screams You're the reason us blondes get a bad name! I should swim out there and kick your a**...!!

Why did the p**... only work 6 days in a row?

For her safety, because she knew that 7 days made a whole week.

I forgot to go to the gym today

That makes it 8 years in a row.

Just received a text message...

Just received a text message telling me I've won a competition! The prizes are £500 cash or front row tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. I don't know if its a scam though?
It says to press 1 for the money and 2 for the show.

Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row?

He was a Die Hard fan.

I've been sober for 69 days

Not in a row or anything, just total.

A strong boxer

has a foam board to practice on.
He punches it 10,15,20 times in a row, so hard that each punch makes a crater in the foam.
After he finishes practice, he turns to an imaginary audience, shows them the board, and tells them
"here's the punchline"

jokes about row