Row Boat Jokes

74 row boat jokes and hilarious row boat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about row boat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Row Boat Short Jokes

Short row boat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The row boat humour may include short rowboat jokes also.

  1. Time magazine just contracted me to row a boat for their next cover photo. I'm Time's new Row-man
  2. What do vaginas and row boats have in common? Both can't get anywhere without a few strokes
  3. The New York Times just contracted me to row a boat for a upcoming story. I'm the Times's new Row-man
  4. Row row row your boat Roll roll roll your joint. Twist it at the end. Take a puff and that's enough. Now pass it to a friend.
  5. [Unashamed Dad Joke] What do you call an android that was designed specifically to move a small wooden boat around? A row-bot.
  6. What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore? Row v. Wade
  7. Two penguins are rowing a boat in a vast desert of sand. Where's your oar? Asks one to the other. Sure do. The other reply's.
  8. What's a Cuban's favorite song? Row row row your boat
    Over to Key West
    Scarily scarily scarily scarily
    Avoid the INS
  9. I couldn't decide whether to use a boat or go swimming, so i aborted my plans. It was a case of row versus wade
  10. I Invented a machine that helps me row my row boat. I call it 'row-bot'

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Row Boat One Liners

Which row boat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with row boat? I can suggest the ones about speedboat and boat.

  1. Amish men can't motorboat their wives. They can only row boat them.
  2. When rowing a boat, do you use the left paddle or the right paddle? Either oar.
  3. If your rowing boat turns upside down, you can wear it as a hat.. It's capsized.
  4. What's the cuban national anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."
  5. I can row a boat. Canoe?
  6. I had a row with my boss at lunchtime Perks of working near a boating lake
  7. My Devil worshipping brother just got a new row boat... He christened it sail Hatin'
  8. I looked up the results of a french rowing race Turns out my favorite boat got sank.
  9. What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat? A row bot.
  10. What do you call a potato in a boat? A Row-tato!
  11. What do you call an android in a boat? Row bot.
  12. What did the little boat say to the yacht? Can I interest you in a little row-mance.
  13. What did one boat say to the other? Are you up for a little row-mance?
  14. What do little kid sing when they get mad? Row row row your boat...
  15. I had a really intense row with my son We came second in the father-son boat race!

Row Boat Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about row boat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing boat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make row boat pranks.

Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house.
Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising.
Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them.
"No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide."
The men shrugged and rowed on.
By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety.
She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up.
"Don’t trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide."
Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney.
When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide."
So the boat left, the water rose and the old woman drowned.
Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demande d to speak to God.
"What happened?" she cried.
"For cryin’ out loud, lady," God said, "I sent three boats!"

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde b**...! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Jesus and Moses decide to go fishing

Both sitting in a little boat, in the middle of the most beautiful lake in heaven, they start reminiscing about their days on earth. Back on earth, I once stood on the shore, raised my arms and the sea opened up so I could walk across
You think you can still do that? Asked Jesus.
Moses thought a bit, pulled in their lines and started rowing back to shore where jumped out, stood at the shoreline, raised his arms and sure enough the waters parted, as he lowered his arms the lake returned to normal. Both were impressed and they got back in their boat and headed back to the middle of the lake when Jesus remembered, You know, when I was on earth I could actually walk ON the water.
Moses grinned and said, You should try it here!
So Jesus swings his feet over the side of the boat, plants his feet, stands up aaaand immediately slips under the water. Quickly, Moses drags him back into to the boat and through tears of laughter announces, I knew you couldn't do it! Look at those holes on your feet!

The best blond joke I know.

This blond woman was tired of all these "s**... blond jokes." So she decided to do something about it. She went to a salon and dyed her hair black. On the drive home, feeling very pleased about not being blond anymore, she spots this s**... blond on her front yard rowing a boat and not going anywhere. She says to herself.
"Thats it! Iv'e had enough, I'm going to say something!"
She pulls over her car gets out and walks to the edge of the lawn that the blond is rowing her boat in. She screams at the blond.
"You know it's s**... blonds like you that made me dye my hair black!"
But no response, the blond women just kept trying to row the boat on the lawn. The more she watched the more she become upset and frustrated until she yells out.
"You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd swim over there right now and tip that boat over!"

An old joke, I hadn't thought of in years.

A group of scientists wanted to do some experiments on how brains function.
They got a volunteer and taught him the row-row-your-boat song, and had him practice until he knew the whole song perfectly. They asked him to sing it and he did so without a problem.
They put him under and removed 1/4 of his brain. Once he woke up, they asked him to sing the song and he sang it but left out every 4th word.
This is amazing, they thought. So they put him under and removed another 1/4 of his brain. When he woke up, he managed to sing the song but only with 1/2 the words.
They decided to try again and removed another 1/4 of his brain. To their amazement, he managed to sing the song but only one in four words.
They decided to go all of the way and remove the last part of his brain. When he woke up, they excitedly prodded him to sing the song. He stared at them and then slowly....
"Be all that you can be! In the ARRRMYY!"
Joke was told to me by a US Marine.

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

7 mildly offensive jokes

**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? **
A speech impediment.
**What's the Cuban National Anthem? **
Row row row your boat.
**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? **
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
**Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a r**... baby? **
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? **
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? **
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? **
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

My grandfather told me this one.

A university professor was taking a trip to the holy land. He had a break in his seminar schedule and was visiting the sea of Galilee.
He saw a sign advertising boat tours, and thought it would be interesting, so he asked the guy with the boats "How much?"
"Six hundred dollars!" Said the man proudly. "All day, up to three passenger and gear!"
"But, um, there's just me, and all I want is a quick row around and a couple of selfies!"
"Still six hundred dollars!" The man shook his head. "Minimum price!"
"That's outrageous." The man said as he walked away. "No wonder Christ walked."

Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream..

Ha, ha fooled you, I'm a submarine.

These 3 Newfies are out fishing in the Atlantic....

...singing *row row row your boat* when a flying saucer appears and the aliens decide to try an experiment. They fire a beam into the boat that instantly removes a quarter of the Newfie's brains. The Newfies continue fishing and singing *row row row your boat.*
The aliens decide to intensify the beam so it removes half of the Newfies' brains. They zap them with the beam and they continue fishing and singing *row row row your boat.*
The aliens are amazed that their test subjects are still fishing and singing with half their brains removed. They decide to turn it up a notch and remove the whole brains.
They fire the beam and the Newfies still continue to fish but now they start singing *frere jacques frere jacques.*

Two blondes were driving in a car

They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said "it's blondes like that that give us a bad name". "Yeah" said the second blonde, "and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her"

What is the Puerto Rican national anthem?

Row row row your boat

3 blonde women are on one side of a river...

...wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.

Russian Nursery Rhyme

Row row row your boat all the way to Vladivostok
Life is eternal struggle towards an inevitable death
Drink v**... till you sleep

A man is drowning near a beach

A small boat approaches, and a man asked :" Do you need help?".
The other answer: " No, God will save us." .
So the boat go away, but they have remorse, so they come back and ask once again. But the answer was the same.
This happens once more, before the boat go away for good.
Then the man, too tired, finally drown and die.
He go to heaven, and ask God : "Why you don't save me?"
God answers : " I send the boat 3 times in a row, what more could I have done?"
Credit to grandma, sorry for any mistake in the translation.

3 blondes trying to cross a river

3 blondes are trying to cross a river.
The first blonde prays to god and asks to be more intelligent so she can cross the river. God agrees and makes her a brunette so she swims across the river.
The second blonde prays to god and asks to be even smarter than the last so she can cross the river faster. God agrees and makes her a redhead so she builds a row boat and crosses the river.
The last blonde prays to god to be even smarter than the last so she can cross the river even faster.
God agrees and turns her into a man and she uses the bridge.

An Egyptian man was sailing down a river

When his boat started to leak. He kept on rowing further down the river, whilst more and more water started to pour in. The man ignored the problem and just continued to sail down the river. Eventually his boat was nearly fully submerged and it quickly started to sink. The man refused to come to terms with his situation and just kept trying to row down the river.
He was in de Nile

I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.

We had a real row v. wade debate that day.

Two friends had just finished fishing...

...and were rowing their boat back to the docks. When they arrived, the first friend got out and started to tether the boat to the nearest wooden pole. As he was doing so, he noticed that the rope was well-worn and had the potential to snap any moment. For the time being, he decided to tie up the boat and handle it later. The second friend got out of the boat and, seeing how dangerously the boat was tied, asked the first friend: "Will that...thing hold?"
The first friend shook his head, pointing to where the rope was tied. "A frayed knot."

The Blonde in the Boat

A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!

A magician and the parrot

There was a magician on a cruise ship. He started off having a good gig, until the captains parrot started spoiling the tricks after watching them over and over. One day the ship sinks. And the only two survivors are the magician and the parrot. After sitting in the row boat for a couple of days. The parrot asks "Alright. What did you do with the ship?"

A fisherman is sitting on a river bank. Suddenly, he hears somebody shout 'F*c**... off!' in the distance.

Ten minutes later he hears the same shout 'F*c**... off!!!!!', but a bit closer. The fisherman shrugs his shoulders having no idea of what's going on.
Another ten minutes later when he has already forgotten about the strange shout, he sees a boat with a man rowing up the river… with spoons. So the fisherman asked:
- Hey! Why are you rowing with spoons? Take the oars!
- F*c**... off!!!!!!!!!!

A blond woman drives by a cornfield.

While driving, she looks out her window and saw that in the middle of the cornfield was another blond woman, sitting in a boat, and rowing as if the boat was in water.
The blond in the car was amazed by what a s**... thing she was looking at. So she stops her car, gets out, and yells "It's blonds like you that give blonds like me such a hard time in the world!"
The blond in the boat then yells, "What's wrong? You want to fight about it?"
So the blond that was driving answered, "I would, but I don't know how to swim."

A blonde is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a row boat in the middle of a dirt field.

She pulls over, jumps out of her car and screams You're the reason us blondes get a bad name! I should swim out there and kick your a**...!!

Toyota and Ford decided to do a rowing competition

They both got their best teams together and had them compete. The result was a disaster for Ford. The Toyota rowing team beat them by leagues.
Ford had a crisis meeting, hired the best analysts and consultants, and after half a year they came up with a conclusion: The Toyota rowing boat had 8 rowers and one c**... while at Ford, one man was rowing and 8 yelled at him.
Ford's conclusion: The rower has to work harder.
Next year at the competition, Toyota won by an even larger margin.
So the rower was fired.

Two blondes were driving down a road

After a while they see a blond woman in a field trying to row a boat. Disgusted, one of the blondes said: "It's women like her that make us look dumb." "Agreed", says the other blonde, "she's just lucky that I cannot swim, otherwise I'd swim over to her and punch her in the face..."

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.
Another two blondes drive past and see her struggling.
The driver says look at that idiot! She gives smart blondes like us a bad name!
The other blonde says I know right! If only I could swim I'd go out there and kick her a**...!

A game warden sees an old man going out fishing alone and asks if he can go along.

The old man relents and rows out to the middle of the lake. Then he opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and drops it into the lake. After it goes off the boat is surrounded with dead fish and the old guy starts scooping up the bodies. The warden is incensed and says 'That's i**... and a thousand dollar fine when we get to shore!' So the old guy pulls out another stick of dynamite, lights it and hands it to the warden saying..

'You want to just talk all day or are you going to start fishing?'

A blonde saved enough money to buy a convertible.

So she goes out for a drive into the country. Top down, music blaring, what people stereotypically do in convertibles.
She gets to the middle of a field, and sees her friend, who is also blonde, rowing in a boat. In the middle of a field.
She puts her car in park and steps out.
What are you doing?! She yells.
Can't you see I'm boating? Her friend replies.
You're in the middle of a field! You can't row a boat in the middle of a field! It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad! I'd go out there and tell you off, but I don't know how to swim.

A blonde was driving down the highway and noticed another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field

She pulled over to the side of the road and yelled,
It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name!
And continued, you're lucky I can't swim, or I'd come over there and kick your a**...!

Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…

When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat HEY!! IT'S DUMB BLONE b**... LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME KICK YOUR a**...!!

2 Blondes drive past corn field

They see another blonde, in the middle of the field in a row boat, rowing away.
"It's blondes like that that give the rest of us a bad name!" one complains to the other. "Yeah! If I could swim, I'd teach her a lesson!" replied the other

Ah, blondes.

Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really p** off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!
The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her a**...!