Roulette Jokes

What are some Roulette jokes?

Told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids...

In one ear, out the other.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

My dad is a professional Russian roulette player.

He only lost once.ο»Ώ

My grandfather was a legendary Russian roulette player

He only ever lost once

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette.

Blew his mind.

My friend was the best at Russian Roulette.

He only lost once.

My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette.

Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.

5 out of six researchers conclude,

Russian roulette is complete safe.

Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette...

... The sixth one loves it to death.

Saw a documentary on Russian roulette

It was mind blowing.

at the roulette table when.....

I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."

I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."

Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe.

Well, at least 5/6 people will.

5 out of 5 people enjoy Russian Roulette.

There was supposed to be a sixth, but he never got back to me about his experience.

African Roulette

Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.

The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."

The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.

The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform oral sex on you."

The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.

As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."

If at first you don't succeed,

Then maybe Russian roulette isn't for you.

Five out of six people agree

Russian roulette is completely safe.

Russian Roulette

5/6 doctors say that its safe to play.

I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc...

They'll have to go outside for craps though.

1/6 russian roulette players

Finds russian roulette mind blowing.

My husband was great at Russian roulette

He only lost once

5 out of 6 doctors agree...

That Russian Roulette is completely safe.

A woman in Atlantic city was losing at the roulette wheel...

When she was down to her last ten dollars, she asked the fellow next to her for a good number. "Why don't you play your age?" he suggested. The woman agreed, and then put her money on the table. The next thing the fellow with the advice knew, the woman had fainted and fallen to the floor. He rushed right over. "Did she win?" he asked. "No," replied the attendant. "She put ten dollars on 29 and 41 came in."

Four blondes play Russian Roulette...

...with a glock.

5 out of 6 people would recommend it...

5 out of 6 people who played Russian roulette, would recommend it to others.

Every 5 out of 6 people say Russian Roulette is fun...

I wonder why the sixth guy hates it

My brother's pretty good at Russian Roulette...

He's only lost once.

I interviewed six people who had just played Russian Roulette...

5/6 of them said it was safe.

I was in a casino on the roulette machine last night, when the man standing next to me turned to me and said, "Black, 27."

I shook his hand and said, "White, 23."

My grandfather is so good at Russian Roulette

that he only lost once

2 old men...

2 old, Greg and Patrick, are gambling at the casino. Having exhausted all but $2 of their cash, they decided to try their luck at the roulette table.
not knowing which numbers to pick, Greg says "How many times did you have sex with your wife this week?"
"7, how bout you?" says Patrick.
"10" says Greg
"Wow, so I'll play number 7 and you play number 10"
Greg picked 7 and Patrick picked 10. They spun the roullette and it lands on 0. Patrick says " Oh man, if we both didn't lie we both would've won!"

Two kinda oldish guys visit a casino...

And they arrive at the Roulette table. "Hey, what number should we bet on?" "I dunno. How often do you have sex in a week?" "12 times." "AWESOME! Me too! Let's bet on 12!".

The ball spins around and around and finally settles on the Zero.

Moral: Be honest.

CS:GO and Roulette are quite similar

They are both fun until you add Russian

Your daddy is so stupid..

that he played Russian roulette with a Glock Pistol

Russian roulette

five out of six scientists claim that playing russian roulette its absolutely safe!

Whenever I make chocolate chip or blueberry muffins, I make sure one muffin is just batter.

I like to play Muffin Roulette.

5 out of 6 Doctors will agree

Russian Roulette is perfectly safe.

Russian Roulette isn't that bad

Infact 5 out of 6 doctors say Russian Roulette is perfectly safe.ο»Ώ


A meeting wraps up amongst delegates in Russia. The Russian minister says to his fellow delegates, "After meetings like this, its Russian policy to drink vodka and play a round of Russian Roulette."

The Nigerian delegate asks what Russian Roulette is.

"Well I take this revolver, place a round in it, spin the chamber and fire at my temple. Then I pass it around. Each of you spins the chamber and repeats. If you die, it means you didn't have honest intentions in the meeting."

They each take their turn and live, at which point the meetings adjourn. A few months later the same group meets in Nigeria.

After their meetings the Nigerian Ambassador says "After a successful meeting in this country we like to drink Ogogoro and play a round of Nigerian Roulette."

"How do you play?" The Russian asks.

"Well I bring in 4 beautiful women. You must choose to sleep with one of them unprotected."

"That's not so bad," the Russian says "Is there a catch?"

"One of the 4 of them is HIV positive"

My friend used to be really good at Russian Roulette.

He only lost once.

When it comes to Russian Roulette ..

.. 5/6 approve

Did you know that...

Only 5 people out of 6 like Russian roulette.

There's only one problem with this Russian Roulette club

Every year it gets smaller and smaller

What do you call Russian roulette for vampires?

High stakes poker.

A black man, a Mexican, a Muslim and a hillbilly are all playing Russian Roulette together. Who is guaranteed to win?


I'm pretty good at Russian Roulette....

I've only lost once.

What is a hipster russian roulette?

You got six cookies and five of them is gluten free.

Florida roulette

Just like Russian,

But with a fully loaded cylinder

If skynet really does exist...

... It doesn't need to take over by force, just get its name on the ballot.

2016: Russian Roulette with all chambers loaded

What's the similarity between video games and roulette?

Very fun until it goes Russian.

4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugarless gum

But 5 out of 6 recommend Russian roulette

TIL a mind-blowing fact.

Some people suck at Russian Roulette.

5/6 people agree...

...that Russian Roulette is a great way to gamble.

Russian roulette!

5 out of 6 recommend!

Chuck Norris played russian roulette with a fully-loaded gun

Chuck Norris died.

When the lights start to go out on a Fuddruckers sign

it starts to be a game of cussing roulette.

What do you call russian roulette without a gun?


How to make Roulette jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Roulette to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Roulette? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Roulette pick up lines to share with friends.

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