The Best 21 Rottweiler Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rottweiler jokes. There are some rottweiler kno jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rottweiler dachshund puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Rottweiler Jokes and Puns

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."

The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the hell happened to you?!?" I gasped.

He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Okay,' says the vet. 'Let's have a look at him.' So he picks up the dog examines his eyes and checks his teeth. Finally he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' asks the man. 'No,' replies the vet. 'Because he's really, really heavy.'

A burglar

While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."

Islamic joke I saw somewhere

A man walking in New York's Central Park sees a Rottweiler attacking a little girl. He subdues the dog and saves her life.

A passing Fox News reporter says: You're a hero. Tonight's TV news bulletin will say: 'Brave New Yorker Saves Child.

The man replies: I'm a tourist from Saudi Arabia.

That night the news on Fox TV says: Islamic extremist kills New York dog.


What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?

Just the Rottweiler.

What's got 4 legs and an arm?

A happy rottweiler.

Rottweiler joke, What's got 4 legs and an arm?

How does a chihuahua kill a rottweiler?

Asphyxiation.

Poor dog….

A man takes his rottweiler to the vet.
"Can you have a look at him he says,
I think he's cross-eyed"


So the vet picks up the dog
and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him
down," says the vet.


"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"



"No, says the vet, "because he's heavy!"

Burglar breaks into a house

Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".

So, A Man Breaks Into a House...

He begins looking for valuables and such when he hears a voice.
"Jesus is watching you."
The man looks around for the source of the voice. It speaks again.
"Jesus is watching you."
After a few moments, the man finds a parrot in a cage.
"Jesus is watching you." It says.
The man smirked. "Hey there, little guy. What's your name?"
"Moses."
"What kind of people name their parrot Moses?"
"The same kind of people who name their rottweiler Jesus."

You can explore rottweiler pitbull reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rottweiler barks dad jokes. There are also rottweiler puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar and asks,

"Does anyone here own the Rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" says a biker, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." The man hesitated.

"What are you talking about?!" the biker says in disbelief. "How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?"

"Well, he got stuck in your dog's throat."

A burglar breaks in to a house

A burglar breaks into a house,

as he's wandering through the first floor he hears Jesus is watching you ,

Startled, he looks around and he sees a parrot, as he sees the parrot it says to him Jesus is watching you ,
Hello parrot says the burglar, so your name is Jesus,οΏΌοΏΌοΏΌeh?
No says the parrot, my name is Moses
Moses? , Says the burglar, who names their parrot Moses?
The same people who named that Rottweiler behind you Jesus , says the parrotοΏΌοΏΌ

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"

Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:

"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"

Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"

Parrot: "Jared Leto"

Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?

Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!

*First Cake day joke!

What's the difference between a rottweiler and child protective services?

If a rottweiler gets a hold of your child you might be able to get him back.

What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

Eventually the Rottweiler lets go.

Rottweiler joke, What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A Rottweiler in a daycare centre.

What do you get if you cross a rottweiler and a hyena?

I dont know but I recommend you join in if it laughs.

Thief breaks into a house

A thief broke into someone's house at night. Out of nowhere he hears "Jesus is watching you". He turns to the left, nothing, then to the right, still nothing. He hears it again "Jesus is watching you". He looks up and sees a parrot.
Thief: "What's your name?"
Parrot: "Moses"
Thief: "What idiot names their parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same idiot that names his rottweiler Jesus"


3 dogs met at the park

The Husky mentioned that God has blessed Huskies as the superior breed.

The Rottweiler snapped quickly and replied that God said Rottweilers are the absolute best!

The German Sheppard turned and asked, I said what ?

I was at a dog fight recently. The combatants were a 200lb Rottweiler and a 2lb Chihuahua. The Chihuahua emerged victorious...

The Rottweiler choked on him.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rottweiler doberman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rottweiler dog piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes