Rottweiler Jokes
27 rottweiler jokes and hilarious rottweiler puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rottweiler that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rottweiler Short Jokes
Short rottweiler jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rottweiler humour may include short dog ruff jokes also.
- What's the difference between a rottweiler and child protective services? If a rottweiler gets a hold of your child you might be able to get him back.
- What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? Eventually the Rottweiler lets go.
- What do you get if you cross a rottweiler and a hyena? I dont know but I recommend you join in if it laughs.
- I was at a dog fight recently. The combatants were a 200lb Rottweiler and a 2lb Chihuahua. The Chihuahua emerged victorious... The Rottweiler choked on him.
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Rottweiler One Liners
Which rottweiler one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rottweiler? I can suggest the ones about german shepherd and herding dog.
- I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega They're watch dogs...
- What do you get when you cross a bunny with a rottweiler? A rottweiler.
- What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground.
- What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
- What's got 4 legs and an arm? A happy rottweiler.
- How does a chihuahua kill a rottweiler? Asphyxiation.
- What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A Rottweiler in a daycare centre.
- What's brown and black and looks good on a hippy? A rottweiller.
- What's got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.
- What has four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler on a playground.
- Did you hear Caitlyn Jenner got a new cat? It's a rottweiler.
Fun-Filled Rottweiler Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about rottweiler you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean golden retriever jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rottweiler pranks.
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.
'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
A big angry man walks into a bar and says "Who has the Chihuahua t**... out front"?
A man in the back of the bar stands up and says "That's my Chihuahua"
"Well, he just killed my Rottweiler!"
" What?!! How did your Rottweiler get killed by my Chihuahua?!!"
" I think he choked on him".
I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.
The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the h**... happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet...
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Okay,' says the vet. 'Let's have a look at him.' So he picks up the dog examines his eyes and checks his teeth. Finally he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' asks the man. 'No,' replies the vet. 'Because he's really, really heavy.'
A burglar
While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet…
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
Sick
"Can you have a look at him," he says,
"I think he's cross-eyed".
So the vet picks up the dog and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No," says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
A burglar breaks into a house...
He starts searching the house for valuables and comes across some jewelery, which he begins to stuff into his bag. Just then a menacing voice echoes through the house moaning "Jesus is watching you". The burglar looks around, sees no one and decides his imagination is just playing tricks on him. As the burglar continues his search he finds some electronics, but before he can stuff them in his bag he hears the voice again moaning "Jesus is watching you". This time the burglar takes a good look around the room he's in and realizes that there is a bird cage with a parrot in it. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Did you say that?". The parrot stares at him for a second and replies "yes". The burglar realizes that the parrot is somewhat intelligent so he asks "What's your name?". The parrot squawks "Moses".
"What kinda guy names his parrot Moses?"
"The same kinda guy who names his vicious rottweiler Jesus"
Islamic joke I saw somewhere
A man walking in New York's Central Park sees a Rottweiler attacking a little girl. He subdues the dog and saves her life.
A passing Fox News reporter says: You're a hero. Tonight's TV news bulletin will say: 'Brave New Yorker Saves Child.
The man replies: I'm a tourist from Saudi Arabia.
That night the news on Fox TV says: Islamic extremist kills New York dog.
Poor dog….
A man takes his rottweiler to the vet.
"Can you have a look at him he says,
I think he's cross-eyed"
So the vet picks up the dog
and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him
down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No, says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
Burglar breaks into a house
Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".
