Rottweiler Jokes
23 rottweiler jokes and hilarious rottweiler puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rottweiler that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rottweiler Short Jokes
Short rottweiler jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rottweiler humour may include short dog ruff jokes also.
- What's the difference between a rottweiler and child protective services? If a rottweiler gets a hold of your child you might be able to get him back.
- What do you get if you cross a rottweiler and a hyena? I dont know but I recommend you join in if it laughs.
- I was at a dog fight recently. The combatants were a 200lb Rottweiler and a 2lb Chihuahua. The Chihuahua emerged victorious... The Rottweiler choked on him.
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Rottweiler One Liners
Which rottweiler one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rottweiler? I can suggest the ones about german shepherd and herding dog.
- What do you get when you cross a bunny with a rottweiler? A rottweiler.
- What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground.
- What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
- What's got 4 legs and an arm? A happy rottweiler.
- How does a chihuahua kill a rottweiler? Asphyxiation.
- What's brown and black and looks good on a hippy? A rottweiller.
- Did you hear Caitlyn Jenner got a new cat? It's a rottweiler.
Fun-Filled Rottweiler Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about rottweiler you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean golden retriever jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rottweiler pranks.
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.
'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.
The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the h**... happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."
A burglar
While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."
A burglar breaks into a house...
He starts searching the house for valuables and comes across some jewelery, which he begins to stuff into his bag. Just then a menacing voice echoes through the house moaning "Jesus is watching you". The burglar looks around, sees no one and decides his imagination is just playing tricks on him. As the burglar continues his search he finds some electronics, but before he can stuff them in his bag he hears the voice again moaning "Jesus is watching you". This time the burglar takes a good look around the room he's in and realizes that there is a bird cage with a parrot in it. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Did you say that?". The parrot stares at him for a second and replies "yes". The burglar realizes that the parrot is somewhat intelligent so he asks "What's your name?". The parrot squawks "Moses".
"What kinda guy names his parrot Moses?"
"The same kinda guy who names his vicious rottweiler Jesus"
Islamic joke I saw somewhere
A man walking in New York's Central Park sees a Rottweiler attacking a little girl. He subdues the dog and saves her life.
A passing Fox News reporter says: You're a hero. Tonight's TV news bulletin will say: 'Brave New Yorker Saves Child.
The man replies: I'm a tourist from Saudi Arabia.
That night the news on Fox TV says: Islamic extremist kills New York dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burglar breaks into a house
Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".
Jesus knows you're here
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shines his flashlight around the house looking for valuables when a voice in the dark says "Jesus knows you're here." Freaked out, he turns his flashlight off and freezes, but hears nothing more so shakes his head and continues. As he is disconnecting cables from the TV, he hears very clearly "Jesus is watching you." Startled, he shines his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice. In the corner of the room he spots a Parrot. "Did you say that?" he asks. "Yes," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you." The burglar laughs a bit, "warn me huh? Who in the world are you!" "Moses." The bird replies. With a now humorous tone, the burglar asks "What kind of person would name a bird Moses?" The bird replies "the same kind of people who would name a rottweiler Jesus."
A burglar breaks in to a house
A burglar breaks into a house,
as he's wandering through the first floor he hears Jesus is watching you ,
Startled, he looks around and he sees a parrot, as he sees the parrot it says to him Jesus is watching you ,
Hello parrot says the burglar, so your name is Jesus,eh?
No says the parrot, my name is Moses
Moses? , Says the burglar, who names their parrot Moses?
The same people who named that Rottweiler behind you Jesus , says the parrot
A burglar breaks into a joint
While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!
