rott Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious rott puns

A Rottweiler, Pit Bull, and Great Dane are in kennels at the vet.

The Rott says "my owner's kid got close to my bowl while I was eating so I bit her face. I'm here to be put down."

The Pit says "I keep getting nervous and pissing all over the carpet. My owner's sick of it and I'm here to be put down."

The Dane says "My owner is a beautiful 22 year old college student. One day she got out of the shower and was bending over to dry off. I couldn't help myself so I mounted her and fucked her brains out."

The other dogs shake their heads "so she's putting you down too."

The Dane looks surprised. "What? No, I'm here to get my nails trimmed."


What does a rotting corpse say?



A pilot and a priest die.

When both arrive at Heavens Gate holy Petrus says to the pilot:
"You are first! God will decide wether you rott in hell or party in heaven." So the pilot heads for Gods office trambling by fear.
A few minutes later he runs out of the office jelling: "JIPPY JAY JEAY! Heaven here I come!".
After Petrus noticed he says to the priest:" Well...I guess you are next."
So the priest walks into Gods office and finds the lord sitting at his desk. The lord then sayed quickly:" No! Rott in Hell!"
The priest is shocked and replies loudly :" But God! I have spend my whole live worshipping you! What my I have done to deserve this? And why do you let this stewardess fucking pilot in the most holy place?".
"Well..." God replies:" As soon as you start to preach everybody falls asleap. But as soon as the pilot lifts up everybody starts to pray".

Please excuse me if there are any grammar mistakes. I am German.


What breed is a zombie dog?

A rott


Rotten apples

For free


Rotten Bananas aren't very...



Why is rotten egg the best comedian?

He's got a funny yolk.


The rotten kid next door isn't completely useless---

At least 10 parents use him as a bad example


Rotten eggs gas around planet Uranus: study

Dig beaneath, its shit


What are the most funny Rott jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Rott? Well, here are the best Rott dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Rott pick up lines to share with friends.


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