Roses Jokes
149 roses jokes and hilarious roses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Take a break with these hilarious Roses Jokes! This collection of jokes will have you laughing with glee. From the classic Guns N Roses and Stone Roses jokes to fun jokes about Red Roses, Daisies, Tulips, and Lana, there is something here that is sure to make you giggle.
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Funniest Roses Short Jokes
Short roses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roses humour may include short jack and rose jokes also.
- Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- Roses are red... Violets are blue...
WOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!
Ah shucks now the roses are blue too! - A Valentines Poem Roses are red
Violets are blue
whitney houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou - Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"
- What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?
Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers!
Son: Mom, what do you love?
Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions! - Roses are red Roses are red.
Violets are....red
Tulips are red
My garden is on fire. - It's still valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red
Violets are blue
No, they are violet
FTFY - "Dad, why is my sister's name Esor?" "Because your mother loves roses, her name is rose backwards."
"Thanks Dad!"
"No problem Lana." - Roses are red, violets are blue My girlfriend is gone
This coconut will do
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Roses One Liners
Which roses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roses? I can suggest the ones about rose thorn and tulips.
- Roses are red, reposting is lame, [this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
- Roses are red, Cellos are brown Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)
- Roses are black , Violets are black I'm colorblind.
- Roses are brown, violets are grey I just found out I'm colorblind today.
- A Poem Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Stop memes about Harambe
-Cincinnati Zoo - from my 10 yr old son: Why do women like roses? Because they are pretty and hurt you.
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- My roses are red/and your violets are blue/there is no fourth line (This is a haiku)
- Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's
To get to the other side - Roses are red Congress is red
The Senate is red
The White House is red
welp - Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe?
Cincinnati zoo - Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy But hey, we've updated our privacy policy
- Roses are dead, violets are dead And I'm a bad gardener
- Why did Rose not buy the iPhone 7 Cause it didn't have a Jack
- Roses are red... Violets are glorious.
I wouldn't surprise
Oscar Pistorius.
Roses Are Red Jokes
Here is a list of funny roses are red jokes and even better roses are red puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Roses are red....violets are blue I'm using my hand...
But I'm thinking of you. - Roses are red, That much is true But violets are purple
Not freakin blue - A short poem about women's underwear... > Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
Heather's are green.
~Lee Mack - Violets are blue, roses are red We're doing this backwards
That's what she said - Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,
- Roses are red Roses are blue, depending on their velocity relative to you
- Roses are red... Violets are violet,
That guy who hit that skyscraper was a really bad pilot. - [spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.
- Roses are red, violets are glorious Never sneak up,
On oscar pistorious - Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
Red Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny red roses jokes and even better red roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A poem about old ladies underwear Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Margarets are green. - Roses are red, violets are blue Some poems rhyme
this is not one of them - Two housewives who are friends meet, one says: "Yesterday my husband bought me 20 red roses. Guess I'll have to spread my legs for two weeks".
"How so?" asks the other. "Don't you have a vase?" - Roses are red... Yoda is green
My lightsaber needs two hands
If you know what I mean - Roses are red April is grey joke Roses are red April is grey, but in a few days it's gonna be May.
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until I came across you. - Roses are red Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.
The roses have wilted
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head. - Roses are red, reposting is lame, But not every joke here is always the same.
- Roses are red.. I'm in debt.
- A poem I read to my gf while proposing Roses are Red
Today is the Day
Plot Twist
I'm Gay
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Jokes
Here is a list of funny roses are red violets are blue jokes and even better roses are red violets are blue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a knife. Get in the van.
- I call this poem Old Women's Knickers Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Ethels are green - Roses are red Violets are blue Dont give up, someone will love you
- Roses are red, violets are blue I have schizophrenia,
And so do I. - No! It crashed again... Roses are red;
Violets are blue
\-----------------------
ERROR: Invalid syntax on line 2 - For the valentines spirit Roses are red violets are blue I am pregnant but it is not from you
- Roses are red, violets are blue I don't know the original poem,
and neither do you. - I wrote a poem called "Old Age Pensioner's Underwear". Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Ethel's are green - Violets are red. Roses are blue. I'm colorblind and my name is Matthew.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, Year celebrates you.
Guns N Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny guns n roses jokes and even better guns n roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up for repair? Its axle rose.
- After listening to Guns N' Roses, I want to become a pediatrician. I figure all I need is little patients.
- I asked my sister if her cat was microchipped. She said "No, he has a tattoo in his ear."
"Why?" I asked.
"So if he gets lost, his new owner will know how much he loves Guns N' Roses." - Guns N' Roses will play their first show in St. Louis since 1991. Sounds like a riot!
- Guns N Rose's are coming out with a new album Their calling it "Make America Wait Again"
- What's the Terminator's favourite band? Guns 'n Roses
- When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses.
- I've never listened to patience by Guns N' Roses It takes too long
Stone Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny stone roses jokes and even better stone roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife has almost put a stop to my constant Stone Roses-based wordplay She bans the puns.
Charming Humor Roses Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about roses you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blushes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roses pranks.
Roses are gray
Violets are gray
I'm color blind
And not very good at poetry
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roses are red.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
v**... cost less than
A dinner for two
My Poem to you
Roses are 0xff0000
Violets are 0x0000ff
return(SUCCESS);
Roses are grey
Roses are grey,
Violets are grey,
Daisies are grey,
Because I'm a dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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An escalating series of math jokes
Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.
Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.
Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be 6 weeks late.
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A short poem for y'all...
"*Roses are black*
*Violets are black*
*Everything's black*
*Even I am black*" - Stevie Wonder
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Roses are red...
Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't spend Valentine's,
With Oscar Pistorious
^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out
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Whats better than roses on a piano?
tulips on an o**......
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A joke my religion teacher told to our class
Roses are red,
Violets are blue-ish,
If it wasn't for Jesus,
We all would be Jewish!
A poem by Stevie Wonder
Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything is black
I can't see.
A kid asks his mother about his cousins...
"Mommy, why is my cousin named Rose?"
The mother replied, "Because your aunt loves roses."
The boy replies, "What about my other cousin, Daisy?"
"Your aunt also loved daisies." The mother added calmly.
"So why is my name-"
The mother interjects, "Be quiet and eat your dinner, Dickie!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roses are reddish...
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on my o**...
My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long
Found this one on Wikipedia of all places
Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*
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Roses are red, Violets are blue...
Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Roses are...
Roses are grey,
Violets are grey,
i'm colourblind,
and Canadian, eh?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Roses are red-ish...
Violets are blue-ish.
If it wasn't for Jesus, we'd all be Jewish.
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Roses are red, violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentines Day...
...the side chick is you.
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Roses are red, r**... is good...
Too much r**.....Now no wood :(
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Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
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Roses are red, Violets are blue
h**... blew an 11 country lead during World War 2
I went to a flower shop on my way to the hospice and asked for a dozen roses...
"I'm sorry sir, " said the florist, "I only have some with a couple of days life left in them. "
"No problem, " I replied, "that's more than enough. "
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
"Dad, why is my sister called Rose?"
"Becausr your mother likes roses."
"Thanks dad"
"No problem Alex."
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Girlfriend: Roses are straight, violets are twisted...
...Bend over, love. You are about to get f**....
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Some people enjoy roses on their piano....
.... but I prefer two lips on my o**....
A younger woman receives a dozen red roses. . .
A much older woman and a much younger woman are sitting on the front porch when all of a sudden the younger woman looked up and saw her husband coming towards her with a dozen red roses. Disgusted, she said to her friend, "Well it looks like I'll be up all night long with my legs up in the air." Confused, the elderly woman ask, "What's a matter? Ain't you got a vase?"
Roses are red, my dad is black
He went to the store, but never came back
Two women are having lunch on Valentine's Day
One says to the other "Do you and your husband have any romantic plans for tonight?"
The second scoffs "Oh, please. These days, he just buys me a half-dozen roses, and expects me to get on my back and spread my legs."
The first looks confused "Don't you have a vase you could put them in?"
Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome.
Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl."
Keep your clairvoyant chipper [OC unless I accidentally stole this]
When I was a single man, I dated a series of psychics. For the first date, I brought a dozen long stem roses, and she said it was too much, and was angry. So for the second psychic, I brought nothing, and she too was offended. For the third psychic, I settled for a single rose, and I finally found a happy medium. (But in the end it didn't work out, she said she couldn't see a future together.)
Roses are red,
My wife is dead,
Does anyone want to buy a 2 person bed?
A son asks his dad:"Dad, why is my sisters name Rose?"
The dad answers: "Well it's because on our first date, I gave your mother roses, and she has loved them ever since."
Son: "Wow, thanks dad!"
Dad: "No problem, Bj."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Roses are red, you're a liar
Harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire?
When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...
I see trees of green, and red roses too.
I just got a huge bouquet of roses for my wife
I thought it was a pretty good trade
Roses are red
Tulips are too
I like eating waffles
But not when they're blue
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Woman talking to her husband: My friend Susan said her boyfriend recites poems about love to her, I think that's so romantic, why can't you do something like that? Husband replies I can do that.
Roses are red your p**... are moist, I'd take you to bed, but I don't have a hoist.
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Roses are red, I've got a bad cough
Settings -> Notifications -> Trending -> **OFF**
A couple are discussing starting a garden
"You know, I really love the roses and chrysanthemums," remarked the wife. "Maybe I'll start by planting those."
"Oh sure, why not," replied the husband. "Hey, let's start doing that now! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and we don't have anything else to do."
"Alright, let me just run to the store really quick then," said the wife. "You see, I haven't actually botany yet."
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For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.
For a man, it's tulips on an o**....
A girl and her mom are in a car.
Girl: "Why is my name Rose?"
Mom: "Your dad loves roses."
Girl: "Why is my brother named Robin?"
Mom: "Your dad loves the bird."
Girl: "Then why is my sister named Secretary?"
Mom: "That's why we are driving away from home."
I think I've identified why roses represent love
They're thorny
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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2 s**... Friends talking.
Ram to Shyam:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like you should be in a zoo,
Don't be sad I will be there too,
But not in a cage
Just laughing at you.
Shyam back to Ram:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are,
Once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not far.
Flowers
On Valentine's Day I came home with a dozen roses for my wife. She looked at me and said so I guess you want me to spread my legs now?
I said, well, I kinda thought we'd put them in a vase.
Orse?
"Dad, I've always found my brother's name a bit odd. How did you come up with the name 'Orse'?"
"Well, you see, your Mom really loves roses, but we wanted to find a more original name, so we picked an anagram instead: Orse"
"Oh, that's very cool! Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana"
