Roses Jokes
149 roses jokes and hilarious roses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Take a break with these hilarious Roses Jokes! This collection of jokes will have you laughing with glee. From the classic Guns N Roses and Stone Roses jokes to fun jokes about Red Roses, Daisies, Tulips, and Lana, there is something here that is sure to make you giggle.
Quick Jump To
- Short Roses Jokes
- Roses One Liners
- Roses Are Red Jokes
- Red Roses Jokes
- Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Jokes
- Guns N Roses Jokes
- Stone Roses Jokes
- More Roses Jokes
Funniest Roses Short Jokes
Short roses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roses humour may include short jack and rose jokes also.
- Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- Roses are red... Violets are blue...
WOLOLOLOLOOO!!!!
Ah shucks now the roses are blue too! - A Valentines Poem Roses are red
Violets are blue
whitney houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou - Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"
- What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?
Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers!
Son: Mom, what do you love?
Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions! - Roses are red Roses are red.
Violets are....red
Tulips are red
My garden is on fire. - It's still valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red
Violets are blue
No, they are violet
FTFY - "Dad, why is my sister's name Esor?" "Because your mother loves roses, her name is rose backwards."
"Thanks Dad!"
"No problem Lana." - Roses are red... Violets are glorious.
I wouldn't surprise
Oscar Pistorius.
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Roses One Liners
Which roses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roses? I can suggest the ones about rose thorn and tulips.
- Roses are red, reposting is lame, [this post was removed due to a copyright claim.]
- Roses are red, Cellos are brown Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)
- Roses are black , Violets are black I'm colorblind.
- Roses are brown, violets are grey I just found out I'm colorblind today.
- A Poem Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Stop memes about Harambe
-Cincinnati Zoo - OC from my 10 yr old son: Why do women like roses? Because they are pretty and hurt you.
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- My roses are red/and your violets are blue/there is no fourth line (This is a haiku)
- Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's
To get to the other side - Roses are red Congress is red
The Senate is red
The White House is red
welp - Roses are red, Violets are red, Bushes are red,
Trees are red,
My garden is on fire. - Roses are Red, Violets are blue...... who killed harambe?
Cincinnati zoo - Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy But hey, we've updated our privacy policy
- Roses are dead, violets are dead And I'm a bad gardener
- Why did Rose not buy the iPhone 7 Cause it didn't have a Jack
Roses Are Red Jokes
Here is a list of funny roses are red jokes and even better roses are red puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Roses are red, Violets are blue... Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Roses are red, violets are blue My girlfriend is gone
This coconut will do - Roses are red....violets are blue I'm using my hand...
But I'm thinking of you. - Roses are red, That much is true But violets are purple
Not freakin blue - Roses are red, potato chips are savory... The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
- A short poem about women's underwear... > Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
Heather's are green.
~Lee Mack - Violets are blue, roses are red We're doing this backwards
That's what she said - Roses are red... Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't spend Valentine's,
With Oscar Pistorious
^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out - Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,
- Roses are red Roses are blue, depending on their velocity relative to you
Red Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny red roses jokes and even better red roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Roses are red... Violets are violet,
That guy who hit that skyscraper was a really bad pilot. - [spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.
- Roses are red, violets are glorious Never sneak up,
On oscar pistorious - Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
- A poem about old ladies underwear Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Margarets are green. - Roses are red, violets are blue Some poems rhyme
this is not one of them - Two housewives who are friends meet, one says: "Yesterday my husband bought me 20 red roses. Guess I'll have to spread my legs for two weeks".
"How so?" asks the other. "Don't you have a vase?" - Roses are red... Yoda is green
My lightsaber needs two hands
If you know what I mean - Roses are red April is grey joke Roses are red April is grey, but in a few days it's gonna be May.
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until I came across you.
Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Jokes
Here is a list of funny roses are red violets are blue jokes and even better roses are red violets are blue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Roses are red Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.
The roses have wilted
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head. - Roses are red-ish... Violets are blue-ish.
If it wasn't for Jesus, we'd all be Jewish. - Roses are red, violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentines Day... ...the side chick is you.
- Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
faces like yours
belong in a zoo.
Don't worry I'll be there too,
not in the cage,
but laughing at you. - Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a knife. Get in the van.
- I call this poem Old Women's Knickers Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Ethels are green - Roses are red Violets are blue Dont give up, someone will love you
- Roses are red, Violets are blue Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo
- A joke my religion teacher told to our class Roses are red,
Violets are blue-ish,
If it wasn't for Jesus,
We all would be Jewish! - Roses are red, violets are blue I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
Guns N Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny guns n roses jokes and even better guns n roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up for repair? Its axle rose.
- After listening to Guns N' Roses, I want to become a pediatrician. I figure all I need is little patients.
- I asked my sister if her cat was microchipped. She said "No, he has a tattoo in his ear."
"Why?" I asked.
"So if he gets lost, his new owner will know how much he loves Guns N' Roses." - Guns N' Roses will play their first show in St. Louis since 1991. Sounds like a riot!
- Guns N Rose's are coming out with a new album Their calling it "Make America Wait Again"
- What's the Terminator's favourite band? Guns 'n Roses
- When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses.
- I've never listened to patience by Guns N' Roses It takes too long
Stone Roses Jokes
Here is a list of funny stone roses jokes and even better stone roses puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife has almost put a stop to my constant Stone Roses-based wordplay She bans the puns.
Charming Humor Roses Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about roses you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blushes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roses pranks.
Roses are gray
Violets are gray
I'm color blind
And not very good at poetry
roses are red.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
v**... cost less than
A dinner for two
Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think...
Its a teabag
My Poem to you
Roses are 0xff0000
Violets are 0x0000ff
return(SUCCESS);
Roses are grey
Roses are grey,
Violets are grey,
Daisies are grey,
Because I'm a dog.
An escalating series of math jokes
Me: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Math is hard, and so I am.
Her: I wish you were my differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be hard and I would be doing you on my desk.
Me: Well, I'm awfully glad you're not *my* differential equations homework... because if you were, you would be 6 weeks late.
Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are gray
Im a dog.
Whats better than roses on a piano?
tulips on an o**......
What's better than roses on your piano?
Two lips on your o**....
A kid asks his mother about his cousins...
"Mommy, why is my cousin named Rose?"
The mother replied, "Because your aunt loves roses."
The boy replies, "What about my other cousin, Daisy?"
"Your aunt also loved daisies." The mother added calmly.
"So why is my name-"
The mother interjects, "Be quiet and eat your dinner, Dickie!"
Roses are reddish...
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on my o**...
My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long
Found this one on Wikipedia of all places
Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*
I like the way you think
Roses are red. nuts are brown.
Skirts go up. pants go down.
Body to body. skin to skin.
When it's stiff. stick it in.
It goes in dry. It comes out wet.
The longer it's in. The stronger it gets.
It comes out dripping. And it starts to sag.
It's not what you think. It's a tea bag.
Roses are...
Roses are grey,
Violets are grey,
i'm colourblind,
and Canadian, eh?
What's better than roses on a piano...
Tulips on an o**....
Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man.
Roses are red..
I'm in debt.
What's sexier than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an o**...!
Roses are gray. Violets are gray.
I'm a dog.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Roses are red, r**... is good...
Too much r**.....Now no wood :(
Roses are red, Violets are blue
h**... blew an 11 country lead during World War 2
I went to a flower shop on my way to the hospice and asked for a dozen roses...
"I'm sorry sir, " said the florist, "I only have some with a couple of days life left in them. "
"No problem, " I replied, "that's more than enough. "
A poem I read to my gf while proposing
Roses are Red
Today is the Day
Plot Twist
I'm Gay
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
"Dad, why is my sister called Rose?"
"Becausr your mother likes roses."
"Thanks dad"
"No problem Alex."
Some people enjoy roses on their piano....
.... but I prefer two lips on my o**....
A younger woman receives a dozen red roses. . .
A much older woman and a much younger woman are sitting on the front porch when all of a sudden the younger woman looked up and saw her husband coming towards her with a dozen red roses. Disgusted, she said to her friend, "Well it looks like I'll be up all night long with my legs up in the air." Confused, the elderly woman ask, "What's a matter? Ain't you got a vase?"
A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than s**......
so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?
Two women are having lunch on Valentine's Day
One says to the other "Do you and your husband have any romantic plans for tonight?"
The second scoffs "Oh, please. These days, he just buys me a half-dozen roses, and expects me to get on my back and spread my legs."
The first looks confused "Don't you have a vase you could put them in?"
What's more romantic than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an o**....
Roses are grey, violets are grey
I am a dog...
A son asks his dad:"Dad, why is my sisters name Rose?"
The dad answers: "Well it's because on our first date, I gave your mother roses, and she has loved them ever since."
Son: "Wow, thanks dad!"
Dad: "No problem, Bj."
Roses are red, you're a liar
Harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire?
When Louis Armstrong was a child, he was colorblind, a doctor asked him if he wanted to do this experimental surgery to allow him to see colors. After the procedure, they ask him what does he see, he tells them...
I see trees of green, and red roses too.
Roses are red, I've got a bad cough
Settings -> Notifications -> Trending -> **OFF**
A couple are discussing starting a garden
"You know, I really love the roses and chrysanthemums," remarked the wife. "Maybe I'll start by planting those."
"Oh sure, why not," replied the husband. "Hey, let's start doing that now! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and we don't have anything else to do."
"Alright, let me just run to the store really quick then," said the wife. "You see, I haven't actually botany yet."
For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.
For a man, it's tulips on an o**....
Some people like roses on a piano.
I prefer tulips on my o**....
A girl and her mom are in a car.
Girl: "Why is my name Rose?"
Mom: "Your dad loves roses."
Girl: "Why is my brother named Robin?"
Mom: "Your dad loves the bird."
Girl: "Then why is my sister named Secretary?"
Mom: "That's why we are driving away from home."
Orse?
"Dad, I've always found my brother's name a bit odd. How did you come up with the name 'Orse'?"
"Well, you see, your Mom really loves roses, but we wanted to find a more original name, so we picked an anagram instead: Orse"
"Oh, that's very cool! Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana"
A man can't decide what to get his girlfriend, a florist, for her birthday.
He goes all around town in search for a gift when he discovers a lovely garden of flowers. Because his wife loves flowers, he decides to pick out a lovely bouquet of daisies, roses and dandelions. The garden is empty and lifeless when he leaves that day.
When the day of his girlfriend's birthday arrives he gives her the handpicked bouquet of the flowers. The girl blushes and says Oh, thank you honey! These flowers are so pretty! They almost make me forget that someone destroyed my garden!
Roses are dead, Violets are dead
I'm s**... at gardening.
Roses are red, reposting is lame,
But not every joke here is always the same.
