Ropes Jokes
56 ropes jokes and hilarious ropes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ropes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ropes Short Jokes
Short ropes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ropes humour may include short robes jokes also.
- An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.
- I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that's a little condescending.
- There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he'll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five. Of course i left him hanging.
- A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
- If you want to hang yourself and still need a rope... ... take the one without any customer reviews. It should be the best for the job.
- A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?" - If I had to choose between a rope or the inclined set of steps.... I would opt for the latter.
- I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor. Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
- A rope walks into a bar And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter.
- What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down.
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Ropes One Liners
Which ropes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ropes? I can suggest the ones about crops and apes.
- What end of the rope did Aaron Hernandez hang himself with? The tight end.
- You can't hang a man with a wooden leg, You need a rope.
- TIL: Ropes can pass through themselves Ohh wait they can knot.
- How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? You cut the rope
- What do you call a tangled rope in space? Astro-knot.
- Why didn't the rope get any presents this year? He was very knotty.
- How do you get an emo out of a tree? Untie the rope...
- What do you call a Sikh on a tight rope Balan Singh.
- How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
- What did the mother rope say to her child? Don't be knotty.
- What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
- I only had enough money to buy either a ladder or a rope... I chose the latter.
- I was going to tell you a story about a rope But I'll leave you hanging
- Some people just need a hug... Around the neck...with a rope
- How do pirates measure rope? In yarr'ds.
Gather Around for Fun Ropes Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about ropes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rods jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ropes pranks.
A rope walked into a bar...
A rope walked into a bar. The bartender said, "We don't serve your kind here! No ropes allowed!" The rope left, tied his top end, and fluffed out the fringe. He reentered the bar, and the bartender said, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just threw out?" "No," the rope said. "I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar...
And orders and drink. The bartender says," We don't serve ropes here." So the rope goes outside, frays his ends, and ties himself into a knot. He comes back in and once again orders a drink. The bartender says,"Aren't you that rope I just turned down?" To which the rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Oogaly Boogaly
A white man, Chinese man and a black man were in Africa doing research when they were captured by a tribe. First, they were tied to stakes. The chief then walked up to the white man and asked, death or oogaly boogaly. The white man thought, I don't want to die, I'll take oogaly boogaly. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest, within sight of the other two and all of the tribesmen r**... him. The chief then asked the Chinese man, death or oogaly boogaly? the Chinese man thought, remembered the screems of the white man, but didn't want to die. So he said, 'oogaly boogaly'. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest and all of the tribesmen r**... him. Then the chief walked up to the black man and asked 'death, or oogaly boogaly?' The black man said, naw man, just give me death.' The chief said 'OK, death, by oogaly boogaly!
A rope walks into a bar....
...and the bartender says, "we don't serve ropes here."
So the rope walks outside, ties himself into a knot, and frays the end. He then walks back inside.
The bartender says, "Didn't I tell you we don't serve your kind? Weren't you just in here?"
The rope replies, "No, I'm afraid not."
a**... Asphyxiation....
How do you even get into something like that? Do you just jump in head first or do you have someone show you the ropes?
Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?
Because they're too high-strung.
Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.
What did Christian Grey say to Anastasia before they s**... for the first time?
Don't worry, I'll show you the ropes.
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "get out, we don't serve ropes here." So the rope leaves, loosens up its end bits, and ties its self up. The rope then walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "aren't you the same rope I just told to get out of here?" And the rope says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A rope walks into a bar..
A rope walks into a bar, and the bartender says we don't serve ropes here. So the
rope goes outside and tangles himself all up and does his hair all funny, and walks back inside. And the bartender says "Aren't you the rope I just kicked out a moment ago?" And the rope says, " No I'm a frayed knot."
Ya know you're from Tacoma when...
Your niece sees velvet ropes and says "Ooh , that's some really nice police tape"!
I really want to get into b**...
I just need someone to show me the ropes
My d**... is busy training a new assistant...
I guess she's showing her the ropes.
A rope orders a drink...
But the bartender says, "We don't serve ropes here."
The rope goes outside, ties himself up, unravels one end, and goes back inside.
"Hey, aren't you that rope?" Says the bartender.
The rope shakes his head, "I'm frayed knot."
When she left, I knew she would always be the one that got away.
I should really get thicker ropes next time.
A rope walked into a bar
The rope asked the bartender: "can I get a
Bud Lite?"
The bartender responded: "Sir, we don't serve ropes"
The rope went into the bathroom with a knife and frayed himself, then went back to the bar
The rope asked again: "Can I get a Bud Lite?"
The bartender responded: "weren't you that guy who was here earlier?"
The rope responded: "I'm afrayed not sir"
What was the name of that superhero well known for shooting ropes?
Oh yea that's right, Peter North.
How is a nurse like a ribbon cutter?
One ropes the cuts, the other cuts the ropes.
I asked the owner of a b**... parlor if I can have a tour of the place...
...He said he was t**... at the moment. He had to show the new girl the ropes.
What do you call a pig that loves to tie ropes around things?
Nottingham.
I asked a girl in a bar if she wanted to go home with me.
She said, Do you have cable?
I said, I think the ropes will be strong enough.
(I wish I could remember the name of the comedian who said this, live in a bar, circa 1993.)
I was being trained as a caller in a s**... prevention hotline...
...On my first day of training, my manager said;
"Let me show you the ropes!"
My colleagues wanted to do a team building activity, and someone suggested a ropes course.
A few folks were hesitant, but I'm happy to say everyone came. I've never experience such fantastic b**....
Did you hear about the guy that kept trying to commit s**...?
I think he was learning the ropes, but couldn't get the hang of it...
I really hate untangling ropes, cables and the likes
I'm knot really good with them
Unemployment rates at b**... studios are high.
Most candidates are unwilling to learn the ropes.
Finally got my dream job as a church bell ringer
It's my first day though so they're just showing me the ropes
Do you know about b**...?
Cause if you want, I can show you the ropes
There should be a TV show were participants compete in relay to get ingredients from high ropes obstacle course.
The steaks couldn't be higher!
What do you call a midget with ropes around its knees?
Tie knee
A depressed person and a happy person walk into a hardware store, how can you tell the two apart?
The depressed one goes straight for the ropes while the happy one follows them with a camera and is wearing a green hat with three eyes on it.
A bit of rope walks into a bar...
A bit a rope walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve ropes here." The rope walks out of the bar and proceeds to twist himself around into a tangled mess. He then tousels the ends of himself before walking back into the bar. The bartender says "Aren't you that bit of rope I just kicked out?" to which the rope replies "Nope, I'ma 'fraid not"
My first time trying it, I told my girlfriend I was nervous because I didn't know anything about b**....
"Don't worry," she told me. "I'll show you the ropes."
A rope walks into a bar....
The bartender says, "hey, we don't serve ropes here sir". So the rope goes out side gets twisted and messes up his hair and walks back in minutes later.
"Hey are you that rope that I told to leave earlier" shouted the bartender. He looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm a frayed knot".
A girl asked me if I knew how to tie a noose.
I told her that if she came over I could show her the ropes and then we could hang
A man enters an animal shop, and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of it's legs...
The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:
- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German
- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.
- Well, he...
Suddenly the parrot interrupts him:
- I will fall down, you idiot!
I was going to play a trick on my roommate by filling their room up to the ceiling with ropes, but I didn't have any ropes.
Now it's just a ropeless home antic.
A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says we don't serve ropes at this bar, you gotta leave.
The rope goes into the parking lot and messes his hair up and ties himself into a box knot.
He goes back inside and orders another beer.
The bartender says, aren't you the rope that was just in here?
The rope replied I'm afraid not.
What should you do when you see a blue t**...?
Say the safe word and take the ropes off.
I gave an annoying boy scout two ropes and asked him
"Can you knot?"
A rope walks into a bar
He walks up and takes a seat at the bar stool and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender tells him, "Sorry we don't serve ropes around here". So the rope leaves and tries a second place. He takes a seat and once again is told that the place doesn't serve ropes. Frustrated the rope cuts himself up a bit and ties himself up in knots. The next night the rope tries at a new place. The bartender asks him "Hey you're not a rope are you?" To which the rope responds "No I'm a Frayed Knot"
