Roots Jokes
57 roots jokes and hilarious roots puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roots that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Roots Short Jokes
Short roots jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roots humour may include short trees jokes also.
- How do you stop a fight between two blind men? Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.
- I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
Then they both ran away - I saw two blind people fighting... and I shouted, "I'm rooting for the one with the knife!" They both ran away.
- I have to say that my girlfriend is the square root of -100. She's a perfect ten but sadly, she's imaginary.
- Today I saw two blind people fighting... Today I saw two blind people fighting... Then I shouted, "I'm rooting for the one with a knife!" They both ran away.
- My friends laughed at me when I told them I have a girlfriend. They said she was like the square root of -100, a solid 10 but imaginary.
Well, joke is on them. They are also imaginary. - Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!" The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."
- How do you make a human corpse float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals a day.
The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?
Because 3 was the root of the problem. - What do the square-root of 2 and flat-earthers have in common ? They're both completely irrational.
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Roots One Liners
Which roots one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roots? I can suggest the ones about tree root and ground.
- My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary.
- I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
- My gf is like the square root of negative one hundred She's a perfect ten but imaginary
- My girlfriend is the square root of -100 Perfect 10, but imaginary
- Why did the polynomial tree fall over? It didn't have any real roots
- My Valentine is like the square root of -100... A 10, but imaginary
- How do you make a whale float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.
- Why are dentists really good hackers? Because they always get root access.
- What do you get when you square root a Muslim? Radical Islam.
- A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... ...but he didn't have root access.
- My girlfriend is like the square root of 2 She's very real, but completely irrational.
- Girls are like square roots... If they're under 18 just do them in your head.
- How do trees encourage one another? They say "I'm rooting for you"
- What did one flower say to the other on the spring equinox? "I'm rooting for you!"
- my boyfriend is like the square root of -100 a solid 10 but completely imaginary
Hilarious Roots Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about roots you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rooting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roots pranks.
Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots
What is the similarity between women and square roots?
If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.
Being bald
It means you went back to your roots.
Girls and square roots have one thing in common...
If they are under 13, do 'em in your head.
Geometry
Johnny was in class when his teacher asked him to use the word geometry in a sentance.
Johnny thought for a moment and then said ok.
Once there was an acorn that fell on the ground. Some fell on it and it sprouted. The roots went into the ground and the stock grew upwards. A year passed and the acorn looked around himself and said,
Gee, I'm a tree!
TIL that the word 'democrat' comes from the roots 'demo' meaning hatred, and 'crat' meaning evildoer.
I think the word 'gullible' has similar roots
My obsession with square roots has got me on cloud three.
What is the difference between a dentist and a New York baseball fan?
One yanks for the roots, the other roots for the Yanks.
Have you heard about the plant in the maths office?
It is growing square roots!
This year I decided I am going back to the real roots of Thanksgiving and celebrating it in the traditional fashion.
I will be handing out smallpox blankets to Native Americans.
Buddy's been driving all night, sees a roadside bar and stops for a much-needed cold beer.
Bouncer says "sorry bud, gotta have a tie to get in".
Buddy goes to his car, roots thru the trunk and can't find a tie. Grabs his jumper cables and wraps them around his neck.
Bouncer says "cool man, come on in...just don't start anything".
....I'll see myself out now.
What do Joshua, Redwood, and Sequoia trees have in common?
They all have roots in California.
How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden?
All the trees have square roots.
This is a complex joke
I named my plant polynomial but it never grew......
Coz it had imaginary roots
Did you hear about Treant?
He's thinking of leaving.
Perhaps branching out,
Maybe even going back to his roots.
I'm not sure I wood do that.
He's barking mad if you ask me.
Feminists hate words with masculine-sounding roots...
...maybe that's why none of them have any manners.
I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa.
I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.
What did the philosophical whisker say to the other?
Man, we've really grown far from our roots.
Muslims are spreading their religion to the roots of society
Textbook Radicle Islam.
Q: What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
How do you tell an optimistic tree from a pessimistic tree?
If it's negative, its roots are imaginary.
Why should you never teach a plant math?
Because it'll grow square roots
I recently went back home to visit my parents, my Mom even gave me a buzz cut
It feels good to get back to my roots.
Polyamory is wrong!
You can't mix Greek and Latin roots.
It's either Multiamory or Polyphilia.
Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in the Autumn, it's because of nostalgia?
They're trying to get back to their roots.
If you don't get your hair dyed...
...are you staying true to your roots?
Why did the radish leave home after he finished college?
He wanted to put down roots but he couldn't find a job in his field.
What Language Do Trees Speak?
Latin, because of all their roots.
What's the difference between a regular tree and a tree owned by a mathematician?
The tree owned by a mathematician has square roots.
What does a man have in common With a wombat?
He eats roots and leaves
Polyamory is wrong.
Obviously you shouldn't just mix Greek and Latin roots like that
If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be?
Two feet.
So I was jerking off to a scene from Django Unchained the other day.
Then I said it's no Roots but I came anyway.
"TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A YELLOW WOOD!," she shrieked, as she tears her body hair out by the roots.
She's waxing poetic.
I saw a semi truck transporting a load of sod along the highway
It was a grass roots movement
Joke Johnny Carson slipped by the censors
I'm not sure if this was an original Carson joke or one he could have borrowed:
One night Johnny got to talking about his Nebraska roots and he told this alleged true story during a sketch scene. Johnny mentioned that the most fearsome Indian tribe were not the Sioux, nor the Apache or even the Comanche Indians. No they were the Fahkarwee tribe!
Johnny went on to explain,: Almost every wagon train that crossed the prairie on their trek to California were known to have their wagon masters and scouts constantly scanning the horizon ahead the entire trip asking, "Where the Fahkarwee?"
"
What happened to the plant on the windowsill of the math classroom?
It grew square roots!
Why do plants hate maths?
Because it gives them squared roots
what did 16 say to 4 when
2 was not invited to 4's party?
Never forget your roots.
Women Are Like Square Roots
If they're under 25, just do them in your head.