root Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious root puns

My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

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I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

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If the number 666 is considered evil

..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

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My gf is like the square root of negative one hundred

She's a perfect ten but imaginary

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If the number 666 is considered evil...

does that mean that 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil?

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My girlfriend is the square root of -100

Perfect 10, but imaginary

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My girlfriend is like the square root of -100

A perfect ten... but completely imaginary.

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My friends laughed at me

when I told them I have a girlfriend. They said she was like the square root of -100, a solid 10 but imaginary.

Well, joke is on them. They are also imaginary.

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For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"

Sorry, did that not make any sense?

How about -

>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."

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My Valentine is like the square root of -100...

A 10, but imaginary

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Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!"

The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."

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How do you make a human corpse float?

Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.


Why did 7 eat 9?

Because you need 3 squared meals a day.


The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?

Because 3 was the root of the problem.

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My gf is like the square root of -100

A solid 10, but also imaginary.

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If 666 is the evil number

Then 25.806975... is the root of all evil.

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If 666 is the mark of the beast...

... and the beast is pure evil wouldn't 25.8069758011278803 technically be the root of all evil?

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A mathematician walks into a bar

A mathematician walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.


The bartender says, "Sorry but we've run out of beer. We have only root beer for today."


"No problem", replies the mathematician. "Just serve me in a square glass."

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Girls are evil...

(Saw this about 10 years ago)

If you have a girlfriend, then you know they cost time and money. Therefore:

Girls = time × money
But:
time = money
So:
Girls = money x money
Which means:
Girls = money^2

Now we all know that money is the root of all evil. So:
Money = sq.root(evil)

And now:
Girls = (sq.root (evil))^2

Which means:
Girls = Evil

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Why are dentists really good hackers?

Because they always get root access.

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A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."


2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

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What do you get when you square root a Muslim?

Radical Islam.

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A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden...

...but he didn't have root access.

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If 666 is evil...

then 25.806975801127 is the root of all evil

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My girlfriend is like the square root of negative one hundred

A perfect ten, but imaginary

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My girlfriend is like the square root of 2

She's very real, but completely irrational.

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The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...

..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

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A hooker is hired by a midget

But he has no money so he says to her "if I can give you the best orgasm of your life, will you give me a root free of charge?"

The hooker thinks for a moment and assumes that a midget of such small size surely couldn't give her an orgasm, so she agrees.

She lays down on the bed and the midget goes to work. Within minutes the hooker is crying in ecstasy, "OMFG you are amazing!"

The midget, surprised says, "really? They don't usually say that until I get the second leg in!"

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So the speed of light, e, and the square root of (-1) walk into a bar...

So the speed of light, *e*, and (-1)^1/2 walk into a bar. The speed of light heads over to the bartender and gets his drink pretty quickly, as he's wont to do. Then (-1)^1/2 goes and orders his drink, and *e* just flips out on him. The square root of -1 asks *e* what's wrong, and he says, "I came in here first, and you just went in front of me!" (-1)^1/2 just says, "Hey, man, I'm just following the rules here!"
Finally, the bartender gets fed up and says, "No, no, no, you idiot, it's *i* before *e* **except** after c!

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Who killed Abraham Lincoln?

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

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What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug?

Just Beer.

If you don't get it, think mathematically.

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I have a phobia of the square root of 2

It's just one of my irrational fears

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What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation?

Square Root.
Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

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A mathematical limerick

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

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A Brief History of Medicine

**Patient:** "I have an ear ache."

**Doctor:**

2000 B.C. - "Eat this root."

1000 A.D. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."

1750 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."

1920 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."

1960 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."

2010 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial, eat this root."

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What's the square root of 69?

Eight somethin'

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What are the most funny Root jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Root? Well, here are the best Root dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Root pick up lines to share with friends.

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