Roosevelt Jokes
28 roosevelt jokes and hilarious roosevelt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roosevelt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Roosevelt Short Jokes
Short roosevelt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roosevelt humour may include short comrade jokes also.
- If Teddy Roosevelt was still alive today, what would he be most famous for? Being really, really old.
- What do you get when Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, and Roosevelt fall in poison ivy? Mt. Rashmore.
- What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder? Teddy Swolevelt.
Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head. - Why does Donald Trump not want to be buried between the tombs of Roosevelt and Eisenhower? He's still alive.
- Be the change you wish to see in the world. -Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson
- Some people give Franklin Roosevelt a lot of flak... But let's be honest, he was a real standup guy.
- Today, Franklin D. Roosevelt would be even more popular as president. All anti-vaxxers would vote for him.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." I say, "When you reach the end of a toilet paper roll, open your wallet, and pull out a receipt."
- Who was the sexiest U.S. president? Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd U.S. President
He was a dime piece - Alice Roosevelt Longworth If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
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Roosevelt One Liners
Which roosevelt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roosevelt? I can suggest the ones about bodyguard and socialist.
- Who was the longest sitting U.S. President? Franklin Delano Roosevelt
- The longest US sitting president... would have been Franklin D. Roosevelt.
- What did Franklin D. Roosevelt say after he dropped his pickle? "I want a new dill."
- What did Roosevelt say after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? I won't stand for this.
- Why do Roosevelt family marathons always take so long? They never stop running.
- What four presidents are always hard? Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt
- Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider! - Why did the president die of car accident? Because of Roosevelt
- Marco! Polo! Marco! Polo! Franklin D Roosevelt! Polio!
- My favorite President is Franklin D. Roosevelt Cus' I really hate anime
- What President of the United States smells the worst? The-Odor-e Roosevelt.
- Why did president Roosevelt hate h**... Because he drank all the *Jew*ce
Share Hilarious Roosevelt Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about roosevelt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean leader jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roosevelt pranks.
Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...
...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.
"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.
Stalin lit his pipe and replied:
"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."
Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin are taking a coffee break in Yalta...
Churchill takes out a small black notebook and starts writing something down.
"Taking notes?", Roosevelt asks.
"No," Churchill says, "I heard a new political joke about myself this morning. I collect all jokes about myself. I already have over 100 in this notebook."
"How funny," Stalin says. "I collect all jokes about myself too."
"Oh, really?" Churchill says. "So how many have you got?"
"Three prison camps so far."
Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin, meet on a skyscraper
Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin want to prove that their generals have a larger sense of duty and tenacity compared to the other nations' soldiers. So they all meet on top of a skyscraper.
Roosevelt goes first, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest president this country has seen, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Churchill goes second, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest prime minister and have bravely led us through hell and back, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Stalin goes last, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for the greater good of the Soviet state. The general immediately jumps off the ledge, and is caught by a net a few stories down, where he is met by the three leaders.
Roosevelt and Churchill ask the Soviet general, "Why'd you jump?" The soldier grimly replies: "I have a family to think of."
